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August 19, 2005

Would you Clone your Wife?

I wonder about unusual things sometimes. This morning I wondered, "if people could clone other people, and I asked someone if they would clone their wife," what would they say? So would you? I know everyone thinks they'll clone their dog or some other damn thing, but when you really think about who you would clone if you could, would you clone your wife? Would you mire yourself down with questions of morality? Would you want to clone someone you know can continue the family name? Would you clone someone who you knew will die young? Someone who did? Is it natural? Should we fix all those accidents where some idiot says "it was just his time" when a 17-year old dies in a car wreck after being hit by some drunken asshole?
What if it's like in the movies, where the clone was your age after cloning? Would you clone your wife? If you did, would your wife freak out about that? Is she the jeaolous type? Would she get possessive of you, not trust herself, and get jealous of your relationship with "her?" Would she be upset if you spent time with her instead of her? If you took both of them out fishing, and then asked a question , would they both answer? Would it be the same answer? Would they get their period at the same time? If you took them both bikini shopping, would they choose the same one? I wonder...
On the flip side, if you said you wouldn't clone your wife, would that piss her off? Is she a nagging pain-in-the-ass that you wish would get hit by a train? Was she svelt in school but now resembles a trophy land-tuna? That may be a good break-up line..."if I could clone you, I wouldn't."
If you had a great kid but couldn't have any more, would you clone your kid? I would! I'd clone my girlfriend too, since she's one-of-a-kind, and the world would benefit from more of her. Yeah, yeah, she's a product of a great childhood, her parents did very well, I know. But something has to be said for her genetics too...Grrrrrrrrr. My old dog Jesse would get cloned too.

Would I clone the ex? Not a chance...



So why is it I need a pin number to access the web page, then another pin number to access my own personal information? Wasn't that what the first f'ing pin number was for? Oh, so I enter the "temporary" pin (which they didn't give me) before I enter a new one? Oh, but if I have a problem, the website tells me I have people I can reach 24-hours a day. Bullshit. Unless you consider some woman's voice on a recording saying when they're really open is a person on the phone, you're screwed! Oh, but the recording says the website is available 24/7. That's true, unless you CAN"T ACCESS THE GODDDAMNED WEBSITE WITHOUT TALKING TO A LIVE PERSON FIRST!!! Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I won't even talk about all the money I give them "just in case," but after years and years of giving them all that "just in case " money and nothing's happened, I still don't get any money back! Then I see all the people who give the insurance companies their money for homeowners insurance for years and years. Then a hurricane comes by, the company is finally needed to pay up, and they cancel people's policies because of "risk." Yeah, right...risk. The only f'ing risk involved in the risk to the insurance companies huge profit margin. I hate insurance companies!


Mick Jaggoff

I hear Mick Jagger is really into political commentary these days, and a new song entitled "a Bigger Bang" is apparently more Bush-bashing. He is apparently accusing the U.S. government of hypocrisy. Wow Mick! You just figured that out? Man, you're smart...well, for an ambiguously gay singer whose greatest contribution to humanity is...well...nothing! Has anyone explained to you in terms you can understand, where exactly you're from? Can you get out of the haze you're in long enough to understand you're a Brit, not an American? I thought Keith Richards did all the drugs?
So what are you Mr. Jagger, a Brit or an American? I thought Brits had better manners than you display? Do you remember where England is? You make lots of comments about americans and America, but not so many about your own country? That's a shame because I find the British to be cultured, civilized, interesting, rational, respectful, intelligent people. I wish I could say the same for you.

Damn, now I have to throw out all my Stones CD's, just like I did with Springsteen. Hopefully I won't have to see your face on Monday night football... By the way, Jagoff is the Jersey version of "Wanker."


August 18, 2005

Help with your head

I heard somewhere the phrase "The World only Spins Forward." Technically correct, but if used as a metaphor, the phrase "Spinning out of Control" comes to mind. Why can't it spin fast enough to fling some of the idiots in the world clean off? I wonder what that would be like. I also think the "ex's" version is "the World Revolves around Me," while people that know her would tend to disagree with her and agree with me...especially my father. But I'm oddly comforted by "The World Only Spins Forward" in sort of an 'Indiana Jones running across the bridge that collapses behind him' sort of way. Like we're forced to look ahead, stop spending time lamenting the past, but rather planning for the future, or just bracing ourselves for what else is coming at us. It also makes me wonder if we're unique (since people who think they are unique tend to imitate someone else), and do we have our own freewill, or are really just like rats in a cage? I also wonder if the past is prologue and we're writing any of this down, or we're taking no lessons from it and doomed to repeat it. Does it bring back the phrase "don't mean nothing?" If I yell out "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore," will someone hear me? Will anyone give a shit?

Regardless, the World only Spins Forward, and I like that phrase. It is at the same time, both comforting and something that makes me want to yell "Shit!" What do we do with our memories? Am I ready for what comes next? Will it hit me in the face like everything else seems to do? Will I finally learn to duck? Will I want to? Does that mean I say, "fuck it, the world only spins forward, damn the torpedoes" and all that?



Your "shit" is not important...

To all the pretentious, condescending fools in Hollywood who think what they do is actually's not. To the people who get paid to play the games I played for free as a're not either. To the ACLU and your warped sense of right and wrong...neither are you... No one that pretends to be someone else for a living, bounces a ball, or argues to take the rights from the masses means jack squat to me. Cheese is more useful.

To all the soldiers out there, guaranteeing the rights of the same Hollywood idiots that would look down their noses at you, the sports people who would deny you their little signature, and the jackoff lawyers that want to turn the Constitution you swear to give your life for into nothing but toilet paper...keep it up, for they know not what they do, the sacrifices you make in order to give them something they don't really understand, or the debt they owe you.


Guilt over time lost with my son

I can't help but think about my son...constantly. I see that in his scant 11 years, I've missed four of them being away with the army, as well as three first-days of school, four birthdays, two Christmas's, etc. It doesn't help that he lives somewhere else with that whore I was married to. It's also not fair how Florida thinks she's a better parent simply because he passed through a part of her anatomy, a part that now sees practically every tow truck driver and auto parts salesman in town. Problem is, all these men are also around my son.
I often say "what did I do to him," and then realize she ran out on us, but then the court gave him to her after I got orders to leave the state. Did I choose the army over my kid? Where would I get the $865 I pay her for one kid? Is that why I feel like I abandoned him? Did I donate years of my son's life to the army? Did I throw him to that bitch and let him fend for himself? Does he see through the bullshit as his mother keeps him from contacting me and poisons him with lies about me? Why do I so easily separate myself from my son? Is it all for a paycheck? Is it out of duty? Is it all bullshit? Why doesn't the Army help me with some BAH for child support?

I forgot...I volunteered.

I won't be ashamed to be heterosexual

No, this i refuse. I know the "in" thing is to be gay and married or a lesbian with a kid or some other kind of trendy bullshit that has to do with your sexual orientation "on parade." Well, I have a message for all the people that force me to know their sexual orientation, that think that by the sheer fact they're gay, they're entitled to special priveleges...SHUT THE HELL UP! I don't want to know it, I don't want to hear it. Don't you think it would be more productive to show everyone else how "normal" gay people are? All the parades, charades, screaming and bullshit just sets your cause back, throws a wall up between you and whatever the point is you're trying to get across. In my opinion, you have equal protection under the law according to the 14th Amendment, but you'll never be able to exercise that right fully until you stop pissing everyone off, stop demonstrating you're an oddity, and show that you're normal people who happen to have a different sexual orientation. Oh, and while you're at it, as much as you believe you have the right to do and say what you do people who disagree with you. ...and I'm still not going to be ashamed to be hetero...


Hi Honey

I can dream of you in places we've never been. I can hear all kinds of music when I see you, and feel you there, inside my chest, where my heart feels the miles between you and I. I never thought that would happen, but it has.

Natalie Holloway Reality Check

In an earlier entry, I spoke of "fault." Now people are in Aruba trying to establish fault for the disappearance of this 18 year-old girl. That's easy. Her parents are to blame. Wake up and smell the coffee!

She was only 18, a high school graduate for all of what? A day? Then she's out in a casino on a Carribean island where she was obviously unsupervised and unprotected. Want that in English? Her parents threw her to the wolves. She was a kid. Do you hear me? A kid. Then she was piss-drunk in a bar at barely 18 years old. Nice. How much more raw meat is that for the Wolf? Oh, I forgot, she was apparently so drunk, her friends were trying to sober her up in the bathroom...but where did these "friends" go? Do you want to know? They stood aside when they saw the Wolf. Then they let her get into someone's car in that condition, obviously to go have some type of activity with a guy...the Wolf. Why didn't they think it was odd that she was trotting off with guys? Why would they just let her go? Hmmm.

Now her parents can cut the shit. Okay, we see your despair and anger for what it is...guilt. The sooner you see that, you'll be able to live with yourselves...or not. Either way, the fault is yours.



Jimmy came from humble beginnings. He got his first pair of new shoes when he received his issue at basic training. He was 19, and finally something he didn't have to share with his brother. Jimmy knew how to share, and it showed. He lent his heart to his fellow squad members, his body to the daily operations of patrolling the streets and handing out aid...and his soul to the Army. He wasn't particularly religious, still wondering why so much evil is brought on so many children in the name of one god or another, and if that god did exist, why it didn't yell out "okay, cut it out!" He didn't normally dream of home. His childhood was a poor one, and he found his first taste of opportunity and experience of the outside world in the Army, where he was seeing new things, but still had a family, of sorts. When he was sent to the desert, he didn't understand why, but he came. When he first got attacked, and when his friend got killed, he never knew why it had to happen, but he was a soldier, doing his duty.

He never did find out why he came here...and now he never will.

August 17, 2005

The "foresakethetroops" guy

This is a copy of the email I sent that jackoff.

"Oddly enough Sir, I agree with most of the things you say. If you could be a bit more constructive, it would add credibility to your argument. Anyone can attack the current events, but offering solutions would advance your position far more than sheer rhetoric, and I would suggest more constructive solutions than just telling people to go fuck themselves.

You are, however, incorrect as to one part of your assertion that the US Constitution alone affords you your rights. Remember, the writing of the Constitution was only possible after we formed our country, which was only possible after we fought the Revolutionary War. Soldiers paid for our freedom.

Like they say in pop-culture, don’t hate the player, hate the game. To hate those in the military is to hate people who are willing to sacrifice their very lives in order to guarantee your rights to say what you do. If we are all created equally, Sir, then you should love your fellow man, including those in the military, as yourself. Trust me, none of the soldiers want to be here, and none of them want to kill anyone. Most of them are just kids who would rather be back home in college or going to the beach instead of here. I believe that if my being here keeps one less of them from coming, then I’ll stay as long as I can. The same Constitution you use to justify your actions explains that the civilian politicians are in charge of the military. Your ire is misdirected?

Try not to hate, Sir. Hatred benefits no one."


Sports "Entertainers"

It's hard to watch self-important jagoffs act the fool with straight faces, but you see it all the time. Of course, my GAS (Give a S---) level for professional “sports entertainers” is about as high as my regard for them…about as high as a lizard’s nuts.

These overgrown children with super-inflated egos fail to realize they are a collective joke, a temporary diversion, a momentary opportunity to lose oneself in the truly meaningless…all while they look down their egomaniacal noses at the “lesser people.” They have lost themselves in a sea of special treatment and ridiculous compensation, coming away from it all with a false sense of importance.

I don’t go to games anymore, the hassle and the cost, and too little action for my son make it just no fun, and I could swear I played the game as a kid for free, without needing steroids. What I do instead, is subject myself to missing years of my son’s life and go to places where people hate me and the conditions are difficult in order to protect these baseball knucklehead’s right to be the personification of the gluteus orifice. Truth is, they haven’t earned the right to act like they do, and none of them have the honor or the sack to admit that, then come on over and grab a weapon.

Tony Montana had it right when he said “I hate that f’ing Sosa!” Now I look at Palmiera and see Edward G. Robinson “you’re not gonna get me Copper, no! See!” Well, guess what Raffy…you are still dumb enough to use the tried and true excuse of a 6-year old, so when they ask you why you lied and why you use drugs, you can just say…“because.”

Problem with the Military Ex-Spouse Law

The problem is the elimination of “fault” and the use of the term “no fault.” We all know that in many, many cases, where the best interests of all parties concerned would be best served by the establishment of “fault,” it is not, and jurisdictions use the cop-out “we’re only concerned with the well-being of the children.” That is absolutely absurd. If you place the children in the hands of the parent who demonstrated to those very children a complete lack of morality, loyalty, honor, dignity, or any other worthwhile human virtue, you are doing an absolutely devastating disservice to them. I won’t even mention the lesson you are teaching them by your incompetence and inaction, nor the humiliation and injustice you put the parent through who maintained his/her moral compass and kept the moral “high-ground.

We have to re-establish “fault,” so that those deserving of support, get it. Should a husband who commits adultery on his wife and kids have to give her a large portion of his retirement? Hell yes. When roles are reversed, and she is the disloyal and dishonorable one, should she benefit from the fruits of her husband’s labor? Hell no. Are there extenuating circumstances and other considerations that make it necessary to treat these things case-by-case? Yes. Is giving custody to the one who commits immoral acts just? No, but it happens every day.

What does all this spell? F-A-U-L-T. We have to go back to the days of establishing fault, or else we will never be able to use the word “fair” again.

It may be time to tell you where I am...

I'm military, like I said. I'm overseas in a place very sandy, but can't be specific. It's the surface of the friggin moon, a desolate, unfriendly, irritating place to be. No wonder people over here are pissed off! The grass doesn't grow, the sand blows around getting into everything, and it feels like there's a blow drier being held by some invisible force right at your face! Basically, it's like a fan...stand in front of it, it blows...stand in back of it, it sucks. So yes I'm over here supporting the"effort," can't say anymore. All the while I'm over here, I see John Q. American back home abusing and mis-using the rights we guarantee...even guarantee to fools, apparently. The things my country and its citizens think are important sometimes just flat pisses me off, therefore this blog site. I need a place to tell people to get a grip, to wake up, or to get screwed...thus the name "Reality Check." More later

don't yell at me on the email!

Don't you hate it when some asshole emails you and makes the font bigger, bold's it, and changes the color? It just screams out "I;m an ass and i want you to know it!" Liberals do it all the time. Insecure dickheads do it all the time. If you want to yell at someone over the email, just make the letters big and bold! Red works nicely too.

I'm waiting for the italics... Feel-good letters...


The new skank

You know, I'm waiting for the new skank. you know what I mean. In the world of skanky women, their shelf-life is really short. It seems to me that Paris Hilton has outlived her skank shelf-life, and we're due a new skank. I admit she was great, what with her strange face, odd body, no talent, and apparent problem with keeping her legs together, it was fun to last. but I think she's outlasted her utility, as there is apparently a skank shortage created by Paris's reluctance to go the "way of the buffalo and Tears for Fears."
The Reality check portion of this entry is really to myself! Why do i even bother talking about this broad? Well, because our country seems to be so interested in her that we hold up trashy gutter sluts to be important people in our lives, when she, just like Brad and Jen, Ben and Jen, Ben and Ben or whoever, just add up to meaningless diversions to take our minds off what's really important in life...and that's kind of sad...


Brad and Jen

Okay, here we go. First things first...WHO THE HELL CARES? These are people who pretend to be someone else for a living and get overpaid to do it! This morniong on bill O'Reilly I heard Bill saying how bad of a guy Brad Pitt was for leaving his wife? WAIT A SECOND BILL! How do you so easily blame the guy? Come can stick up for know you want to... Even O'Reilly is now caught in PC hell! Well, here's a rope.
It is actually possible that Jennifer Anniston initiated this break-up, and it is also entirely possible her husband left after she drove him completely nuts! The reverse is also possible. Yet, the greatest possibility in all of this is that people lead too shallow and meaningless of lives and actually give a s--- about what two pampered Hollywood knuckleheads are doing. It must be a small place (Hollywood), because all the people out there are marrying each other, which, in the hills of Kentucky is called INBREEDING! Do they contribute to the greater good? Do they give other people the ability to learn from their mistakes? Do they protect the rights of others? Or are they just a silly diversion that has nothing to do with anything?

Reality Check...