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August 8, 2018

Rant of the Day: Shopping

So I go to buy a couple fishing shirts. Columbia. You know the ones. They actually get cooler as you start to sweat. I figure I'm stuck in God's waiting room so might as well be comfy. This is the only reason why I was in a department store. No other. I'm a sniper shopper. One target at a time. The shirts are the target. One store at a time. No two on the same day. Infiltrate the store. Identify target. Acquire target, Get it, Get out. Boom. Done. So I don't find the ones I want. Figures. On the way out, I pass this guy. Well, guy-ish. Loafers with no socks. Short pants in a bubble-gum-meets-carrot color. Oxford shirt pulled out. Sleeves rolled up. And a scarf. A big, metro-sexual, my wife dressed me, flaccid attempt at euro I-don't-know-what freaking scarf. Instantly, I snort one of those "WTF is this jackass wearing" sort of giggles. It's not winter. It's not Paris. It's not a shemagh or keffiyeh, or ghutrah. He did it as a fashion accessory! Numbnut. It's 93-degree Florida! He has shorts on for shit's sake! As I pass him, someone says "nice scarf there, Nancy." Well, someone being me, judging by the mortified look on the wife's face, and the completely submissive, over-it, "I gave up long ago" look on dude. I keep my eye on them for a second or two longer, then turn and continue back out the door. Once outside, I chuckle and say "dipshit" out loud. I couldn't help it. Couldn't help the whole episode. It's like when I see a guy wearing Capri pants, I automatically and involuntarily bark "Man-pris!" It's a blurting problem. I'll do it in mid-sentence. I do the same thing for leggings, blurt "stretchy pants" and continue without missing a beat. Somebody has to stop me. Or join me. One thing I know for sure, I won't be sniper-buying a scarf anytime soon. Fish on...

Tom Hanks Goes Full Gump On CNN; Takes Meryl Streep With Him

It was all I could do to suffer through five minutes of this "celebri-drivel" before I felt queasy and had to turn it off. References to ancient press abuses as an allegory to what they believe President Trump is doing arrogantly spewed by the wrong-headed, rich globalist liberal living in the Hollywood bubble named Tom Hanks. He believes the press should be unfettered. I get it. He believes government controlling the press is a bad thing. I get that too. I'm with him on that one. But for all his high-brow, "look at me I learned something from Dan Brown" references to precedence (be them more theatrical than applicable), he forgets one thing; THE PRESS HAS TO BE OBJECTIVE. THEY'RE NOT. HE KNOWS IT.  Is he complicit? Is it a cover-up? Sin of omission? Calling his ignoring that little requirement "disingenuous" is like calling 9-11 a "little spot of bother." Or calling CNN objective. Or Rachel Maddow a journalist. He did it on purpose. The press is the propaganda tool of hypocrite liberal elites in this country (like Tom Hanks) and the Democratic Party. Yeah, yeah, admit it. The truth feels good. Give it a try. For Gump to ignore obvious bias and lack of objectivity is...well, Full Gump. Never go Full Gump. He knows the press is on his side and he's playing that tune like a good liberal drone piano.  He has to keep his allegiance with the likes of George Soros, Barack Obama, Richard Branson, Elizabeth Warren, Charles Schumer, Bernie Sanders, and other intolerable globalist fathead liberals (villains all) intent on ruining our country (under the direction of their late hero Saul Alinsky). Can't get kicked out of the club, so toe the party line like an obviously obedient lib. He would never admit the good things that have happened while Trump became president, or the pathetic barnacle-like clinging Hillary Clinton is doing to all her sad excuses for her loss. Does he admit she needs to accept defeat? No. They act like she's some mythical creature of legend. They deflect. They ignore truth. Well, until she shows-up somewhere and they all kiss her ass. Gotta stay on the team. Can't go on the Hollywood Blacklist with James Woods and Lieutenant Dan. Denounce Trump in Hollywood or the fascist lefties turn on you (then tell you how bad Trump is...) Then there's the sycophantic admiration for Oprah Winfrey. By "their," I mean Meryl Streep, another pompous Hollywood bore. Watching her act or listening to her speak is a combination of nails on the chalkboard and hearing the sound a bottle makes when you blow across the top. You're getting sleepy. You're getting sleepy. Meryl went so far as to say Oprah was more qualified to be president than Trump. She has to say that; Billionaire Oprah owns her own TV channel and probably half of the "celebrities" in Hollywood. But I wonder if Trump had a magazine if he would call it Trump and have only pictures of himself on the cover? That form of arrogance is strictly reserved for liberal democrats. Plus, it's really easy to be a liberal when you're wealthy. Even easier to ignore all the failures in the party and their disenfranchisement of minorities (it's a nice way to say lying to them and letting them become even more impoverished), their lack of vision, leadership, or morality, overtly playing by the dirty playbook (remember the primaries), refusal to do their jobs veiled in a movement called "resist" (which is just liberal sniveling about losing the election and child-like tantrums), and allowing the double-standard to reign supreme. They do this because the media is blatantly and un-apologetically biased and pro-democrat. To deny it is to go Full Gump.