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April 22, 2006

and now, in the "why didn't I think of that" category...

From the Miami Herald "Phony doctor gives free breast exams."

The article says a woman "became suspicious" after the man started a genital exam and didn't use any rubber gloves! Oh my God! How damn stupid do you need to be? Hey lady! Wow are you intuitive! Do you think maybe you should have been a bit suspicious as soon as the guy came to do door? Or maybe when he said he was doing breast exams and apparently thought you were special and needed to go genital on you? Holy crap!

Do you drop your drawers for everybody that comes by? Trick-or-treaters probably love coming to your house! "I think I saw Sonic the hedgehog!" Now you know why there's that guy that always dresses-up as "weed-whacker man." I wonder if the mailman shivers at the thought of having to see that cottage-cheese body of yours? Great googly-moogly! Did you give this guy a frosty beverage before he decided to violate you? Did you ask for some ID?

So I have this friend who hasn't done so well with the girls lately. If I send him over, can he play doctor with you too? He doesn't own a weed-whacker though. Will the "Flowbie" work? He can bring the light that straps to his forehead if you want. Wow! Talk about gullible...

...and now, for the "let's get free shit" award, is every woman this guy duped into exposing the seafood for a 76-year old shuttle driver from a car dealership...Dr. Dodge...Gynecologist. They jumped on freebies like a fat kid on a cupcake. The urge for free stuff, especially amongst the "Wally Martinez" (Walmart) demographic of middle-class Miami immigrants is like the urge Wildebeast have to cross the river even though they know the crocodiles are waiting for them! Why do you think people risk their lives all the time trying to go from Cuba to Florida? Answer: they hear the tales of everybody giving away free shit.

Funny how women let this guy into their house knowing he was going to cop a feel. Is this the quality health care you're used to? If it was the vacuum cleaner salesman, the guy that sells water softeners as "miracle water treatment filters," or some dude selling insurance, the Scouts, Unicef, or the police, they probably would have slammed the door instantly! "Ai Cabrone! La Migra!"

Remember, there's no door-to-door gynecology...except in Miami.

April 21, 2006

True Americans

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Vietnam vets with great respect, and always have.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never burned an American flag.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

You might be a true American if: You wish everyone would stop being a "hyphenated-American" and just be an American.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

God Bless the U S A !

April 18, 2006

AP: States Omit Minorities' School Scores


This is political correctness gone mad. First comes forced bussing so schools "represent" the politically correct mix of kids and politicians can feel warm and fuzzy while they justify school funding while again being politically correct. Then we put in the "no child left behind" law that makes school kids take tests to see if they're learning. After that, in order to see if it's all working, schools report the statistics, but if there is a "disproportionate amount of minorities," then they're not counted? What kind of stupid s--t is that?

This is racial pandering, and it's some PC bullshit we don't need. If people really want racial equality, stop identifying school children by the color of their skin. Where do you think they learn that stuff from? From us.

Oh, and while you're at it, we can stop naming kids "Laquanya" and "Shaniqua" and such. I know a guy named Dan, who had a daughter. So you think she would be "Danielle," right? Wrong. Danette. Can you believe that? Danette?

In Tampa I saw a little girl whose mother named her Shithead, pronouncing the word like Shi-thaid. What happens when she realizes her name is shit-head? I'm not making this up. Another kid was named NosmoKing. His mother said she got on the bus to go to the hospital and there on the front of the bus was her son's name..."No Smoking."

Maybe that lady needs to take the test?

April 17, 2006

Israel Reportedly Proposes Swap for Spy

...and still people wonder why everyone hates Israel. I'm not surprised. Here they are, the United State's biggest charity child, and they're still more self-serving than any other nation.

This latest swap for a spy isn't between Israel and Palestine. It isn't even really between Israel and the U.S. No. In a classic, conniving, sneaky puke Jewish state maneuver, they'll let a terrorist go back to Palestine if we release someone they had spying...on us! Classic!

Where do we come in on this? The neighbor keeps running over my mailbox, but I'll forget about that if my boss at work pays to get my house painted. What? There is no connection, and it makes very little (if any) sense.

What Israel is really saying is; "we let this terrorist go who is against the current Palestinian government, and tell the Americans we'll do it in exchange for one of our spies, who we just gave citizenship. They're stupid enough to go for it, and if not, our paid lobbyists will make everybody feel guilty about not supporting our cause. Ha! Ha! Ha! Dumb bastards! We crap all over them and they just keep forking over the dough! What's better is, we have them thinking they have to!"

In a blatant F-U to the United States, the spy that was the handler for the American they turned into a spy, was just put on the Israeli Parliament. Thanks a lot for that one. We appreciate it. What's worse is most of the terrorism we deal with is in direct response to our relationship with Israel, yet we keep forking over the cash and letting them do whatever they want. Good thing I'm not president.

I love this kind of whiny bullshit. After all, the stereotype of the sniveling, deceitful, back-stabbing, money-grubbing jew wouldn't be so cliche' if not for the continued support of such childlike behavior. Yes, they may be a government, but they act like children. Yes, the children can be smart, and strong, and talented, but underneath, they're still children.

Well, the children grew-up to be the bastard, red-headed stepchildren we all use as metaphor for the kids that everyone knows just aren't yours...the kids that blatantly point out a relationship with someone that was a mistake. I don't feel guilty about what happened to them in WW2, and it's time we stopped it. After all, if we should feel guilty then why do Jews drive German cars?

Israel is our mistake. They're like the kids that take your hard-earned money as an allowance and use it to pay for someone to kick your ass. Where do you think the money came from they used for spying on us?

Clearly, when the pros stop outweighing the cons, it's time to cut them loose. They think they're tough enough to go it alone. I say we let them.