Search This Blog

October 1, 2005

Cleaning out the "Closet."

Apparently, the Vatican has decided to reaffirm it's no-homosexual policy in the priesthood. While part of me says that's good, part of me thinks "too little, too late." You see, the whole crapstorm over the pedophile priests and the church's lack of dealing with it to my satisfaction led me to make sure the church door (or the priest) didn't hit me in the ass... I came back from almost two years service in Korea right when the whole thing blew up. In Korea, I didn't miss a single Sunday service. But it just didn't sit well with my "keep your hands off little kids or suffer the wrath" policy, which I guess the American church didn't share. John Paul II thought that way, but the arrogant goons in the American Catholic church heard something else. Haven't been to mass since. They probably miss my money more than me anyway...

This strikes home in another way too, since the arrogant jerk that baptized little Brainclogger apparently had a problem keeping his hands to himself. What did they do? Kick his ass? Kick him out? Expose him for the pedophile he is? Nope. They sent him to New York.

So now I see news that the Vatican is thinking about banning gays from the Seminary. I have a bit of advice...don't it. If you think gays are the problem...eliminate the problem by keeping them out. You'll never get all of them anyway. Better yet, instill a little "fear of God" into them by finding the gay priests and beating them within an inch of their lives!

Am I advocating gay bashing? No, I'm actually advocating liberal bashing, and preemptive striking. You see, if they truly fear the consequences of touching a kid, and the possiblity they'll get it even worse, maybe they'll think twice. In fact, forget the gay priests, kick all the new priests asses as part of their "initiation." Then give them free reign to do it to other priests they think need an old #6 (where you go riding into town a-whompin and a'whoopin every livin thing within an inch of its life). Make it more fraternal so they police up after themselves...the right way. Oh, and any priest that thinks he's someone special gets a slap on the mouth just to snap him back into reality. Hell, I'll even volunteer for that one. I already have someone in mind that was condescending to my mother some while back.

While we're on the subject of ass whoopins, drag out all the priests that covered this stuff up in the first place and kick their asses too. Then go to the seminaries where all the liberal college faculty-types are trying to change the church by admitting these "rump wranglers" into the school, and commence the old #6 again! Now we're having some fun! For a good cause too!

Do this stuff, and maybe I'll feel comfortable around the Catholics again, because ever since this whole thing broke, whenever you look at a priest, somewhere in the back of your mind, you say "I wonder if...?" Yep, you know you do. Problem is, the gay priests club together, rely on your own fear of not being PC, and the thought they're someone better than you. But you know you wonder if old Father Paddy is a Poof...

Think I'm talking out my ass? Well, I asked a friend of mine who used to be a priest until he snapped out of the celibacy illusion, married himself a Filipina, has three gorgeous kids, and is happy as a clam, what happened. I think the direct quote was "they let butt-reaming faggots into the seminary." So there you have it. Besides, you have to wonder about the masculine nature of such places. I mean, how many seminaries have footbal, rugby, or baseball teams? Sure, there's wrestling going on, but being voluntarily hugged-up against your buddy naked in the dark doesn't qualify!

But they hide it so well... After all, they call their legendary expertise at secrecy "the closet." Don't they? But after all this, will they get me back to mass like before?

Probably not...


September 30, 2005

It's wrong but I had to...

Hi Mom! Here are your tuition dollars at work!!!

One school in Massachusetts builds sandcastles while two build liberals! I'll take the sandcastles anyday... on the title...


Who is Kaiser Sose'?

Well, the "usual suspects" did it again. Pepetrated another crime on the American people...the same ones they are "chosen" to represent. Yeah...sure...

In their rush to prove how despicably reprehensible (double adjective...nice!) they are, they all voted against the confirmation of Judge Roberts. Yep, the usual suspects...they make me feel queasy just typing out their names...Kennedy, Pelosi, Clinton, Shumer, Reid, and Kerry.. Individually, a murderer; a pampered liberal whackjob; a woman who let her husband cheat on her, humilate her, and lie to his country on TV and took it because she wanted to be a senator; an anti-gunner; a complete loon; and a kept man who lost the ability to tell us what he wants. Collectively, they are the examples of what's wrong with our political system, especially Uncle Teddy...

Did they do it because they really disagree with him? No. Well, maybe they did it because the majority of their constituants wanted them to?

A couple of them actually believe the country can stomach their sniveling and want to run for president, so they had to vote lefty. The others simply did it for the money. Yep, so they wouldn't piss off the special interest groups that fund their weirdness. Some people say they voted no for the white guy, so when the President puts forth a female or minority candidate, they can vote "yes" and look progressive. Trouble is, they're all white people too, and legendary at patronizing people. All they did was show they want to simply oppose anything the President does.

I wish I could put them in an interrogation room, slap the stupid smirks off their faces while yelling "Who is Kaiser Sose'!" or "Mao" like in the Deerhunter, dangle donuts too far out of their reach, force them to wear NRA hats and t-shirts that say "I Piss on the ACLU," and play a video of the Clarence Thomas swearing-in ceremony or the Reagan inauguration. It would be like Kryptonite for a Lib! I know...maybe the Clinton impeachment hearings!

I get the feeling the only sex old Bill is having these with himself.


The Daily Planet

Remember Spider Man? He worked for the fictional newspaper "The Daily Planet." Well, I think the news today has about as much truth an objectivity as that fictional entity. Aside from that, it's always funny what American media people concentrate on. I spoke about it a few blogs ago, but here's another example.

I turn on the TV here in the Middle East, and you see Star News covering a story about a raid on a brothel in London where suspected "white slavery" was happening and the women had been trafficked in from 19 different countries, mostly in Eastern Europe. A sidebar to the story was about using an all-female police raid team to do it (I could hack on that all day, but I won't, and I don't know why).

Changing the Channel, there's CNN covering the story of the car bombings in Hilla, Iraq.

Flipping again...on came BBC News, where the girl was interviewing a South African doctor about the Bird Flu, which is said to be getting ready to become a "pandemic." I still wonder where they keep finding all the Brit girls with good teeth, and think to myself the three channels were covering some important stuff right at the top of the newscast. Of course, Star news can follow the worst story imaginable with the soccer (football to them) news and make it sound just as important. To them it is... They love their football, followed closely by crickett-definitely a gentleman's game...

Turning to CNN World (I know, you're thinking I get alot of news channels...and soccer), they're covering the fires in California, obviously trying to set that up as the next disaster after the two hurricanes, realizing that Ray Nagin just isn't that interesting...

Then I turn on Fox, which has "Fox and Friends" coming on. I see E.D. Hill, dressed as tacky as usual and having her daily "bad hair day," with an other-worldly hair color that's not her, yet still not as trailer-trashy and gutter-sluttish as the ex's hair. Suddenly E.D. yells out "Joe Montana!"

Without hesitation, I switched back to Star.


September 28, 2005

A bunch of red-headed stepchildren

I wonder if any of these democrats had parents? Here's why...

When we elect a president, in my opinion, we elect someone to act as head of the family...a la familia, of Americans. Sure, families fight and people sometimes disagree, but there is a code of ehthics in a family. Well, this is a code my no-account brother obviously forgot, but this isn't about him. Well, maybe a little.

In the family here, GW Bush is the father figure. Sure, you don't always agree with Dad, but there are ways to let him know that. You don't run to the neighbors and bad-mouth him, or stand on the curb screaming about how big of an idiot and a racist you think he Sir. You keep your feelings and your issues in the family. You give your father the respect he deserves, and you treat him accordingly, no mattter how you may feel at the time. Oddly enough, after all the bullshit you give Dad, he still comes to help you when you need it, and you don't even feel any shame for how you acted previously. You keep up the gimme, gimme, gimme, and he keeps giving, although you don't deserve it.

What people don't understand, if you stand on the curb or run to the neighbor to bad-mouth your father, it doesn't make you look good. In fact, you look like a weak minded, weak willed, insignificant person for not showing any character. Fortunately for you, your father doesn't want to hammer you for the puke that you are...but your brother does...

What these narrow-minded people don't know is how absolutely rediculous they look to citizens of other countries. They see us on TV and laugh at us, thinking we already have too many freedoms and not enough character. The problem is, when they laugh, I'm in the room, so to speak, since I'm stationed overseas. My 'brothers" make me ashamed of being an American, for if they can't show loyalty to Dad, then who will they be loyal to? They were obviously spoiled and indulged as children. Where did you learn that life was all about you? Where's the honor that Dad deserves? How long are you going to blame him for your problems and when are you going to finally be a man?

Do you hear me Mr. Rangel? Mr. Sharpton? Do you hear me Chris? You three are far too old to be "feeling your oats" and rebelling against Dad. Respect him or shut your faces. Spread your wings somewhere else.

When our brothers disrespect our fathers, what are we to do?


More stuff on Ashton

Well, looking at the celebrity list of people (and liberals) who married older women, the list is interesting.

-Tim Robbins' 12 years younger than his companion, susan Sarandon
-Guy Ritchie' is 10 years younger than Madonna;
-Sheryl Crow' is nine years older than her fiance, Lance Armstrong.
-Justin Timberlake, 24, and 33-year-old Cameron Diaz' have been an item for over a year,
-Julianne Moore is married to Bart Freundlich, 35.
-Geena Davis is married to 34-year-old Dr. Reza Jarrahy, who is 15 years younger.
-Ralph Fiennes 42, has dated Francesca Annis, 61, for years.
-Elizabeth Taylor is 20 years older than her last ex-husband, Larry Fortensky.
-Cher's former boyfriend Rob Camilletti was 23 when she was 40.
-Mary Tyler Moore's husband, Dr. Robert Levine, is 18 years younger.
-When comedian-singer Martha Raye married her seventh husband, Mark Harris, in 1991, she was 75 and he was 42.

Some may think a 19-year gap is big, but look at the latest picture of Francesca

As for men who marry younger women...who cares...

For non-Hollywood couples, there are online dating services designed to bring together singles seeking an "age-gap relationship." The slogan of is "years apart, coming together."

Similarly, is a community for those in such a relationship. The Web site reads: "No one should suffer simply because they have chosen to fall in love."

Some things you choose...and some, well, they just happen, and you just have to go with it. Hi Honey!

My girl can out-fish your girl!


Ashton's a good man...

Well, lots of other adjectives can be used to describe his signing-up for his high-maintenance honey, but I'll just stick with "good man." He likes the older chicks. I can dig it. Yahoo news said:

"The younger man is attracted to an older woman most likely because of her poise, her social graces, her contacts. She has a polish he hasn't yet acquired," Dr. Joyce Brothers says of the younger man-older woman dynamic.

"She, on the other hand, could be attracted to his promise in their mutual endeavor — in this case Hollywood. Or his exuberance, his fresh way of looking at the world," Brothers told The Associated Press on Monday.

Brothers added that a woman's sexual peak is at a later age. The May-December match is happening more, she said, because "we're remaining vigorous, active and healthy longer — men and woman. The younger person doesn't have to worry about spending long years nursing the older one."

Always a pairing ripe for fiction — the films "Harold and Maude," "The Graduate," "Something's Gotta Give" and "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" are examples — the allure of the older woman is also a Hollywood reality."

Yep, in my own world, this is true. I dig the older chicks too, and the age gap between us is smailler than the Kucher-Moore one. The reality is, instead of her having a polish I have yet to acquire...she is the polished one...I'll never get that polish, I'm too primitive.

Hey! Maybe that's what she digs about me?


Another nut for the pile...

"A prominent black activist, Rev. Sharpton, also supported Mr. Rangel's Bush-as-Connor comparison...

"Clearly Bush has become that, especially after Katrina," Rev. Sharpton said. "We've gone from fire hoses to levees"

Yep, that's what Al Sharpton said about Rangel's racial slurs. He supported them, while others in New York said Rangel didn't go far enough, and everyone stays quiet... It's eery, but typical. Support. That's what he got.

Of course, if Sharpton believes his own bullshit, we may need to check his medication. Attacking people with levees? Old Al's been drinking his bathwater again...


More proof we're all crazy

Our craziness is obvious. Glaringly...blindingly...disgustingly obvious.

We have a white lawmaker in Tennessee who tries to get into a "Black Caucus" there. First, he's not black, but whatever his intention, the fact the blacks in the club wouldn't let him in, then labeled him a "white supremacist" is typical bullshit. This at the same time we see congressman (small c) Elijah Cummings trot out the "Congressional Black Caucus" in order to start the smoke generator called the "race card," in an effort to screen any blame for the jacked-up situation in New Orleans away from the black Mayor. Where's the Congressional "White Caucus," the Congressional "bHispanic Caucus," the Congressional "Native American Caucus?" That's f'ing weak.

Then we have Charlie Rangel, another black congressman, come out and say Bush is the modern day version of Bull Connor. That's f'ing weak too. When Bill O'Reilly asked him about it, and told him the statistics show the current administration is helping combat poverty more than the last, Mr. Rangel replied "they used to lynch us in the South." I think I hear the Coo-coo bird...

What disturbs me even more is the PC atmosphere in our country, blatantly demonstrated by everyone's lack of outrage over what Mr. Rangel said. People are so concerned with not offending someone that they allow transgressions like these. When a liberal says some bullshit like this, all the other spineless liberals and the liberal media stay in their holes. What about the 30+ years of black mayors in New Orleans? No one wants to admit their failure through the years, do they? Well guess what...the same failure is happening in Atlanta.

Mr. Rangel actually blamed President Bush for 28% of the black people in New Orleans living in poverty. Thirty years of black leadership in New Orleans and in 2005 the poverty situation there, according to Mr. Rangel, is President Bush's fault. What's worse? No one waved the bullshit flag! Can you believe we have these idiots running our country? They should all be fired for being stupid and wasting our time and money.

Mr. Rangel is a racist jerkoff.

There, I spoke the truth...


September 27, 2005

It's official...we're all crazy!

In the news today...

Brown Blames "dysfunctional" Louisiana. Well' no shit! first, they're all democrats. Next, they're politicians, not wanting to look bad, and placing that before any thought of the welfare of the people there. Brown shouldn't have waited for answers after asking them things. Hell no. He should have walked straight up to the both of them and bitch-slapped a hand-print on the side of both their noggins...

Deputy Leader of Al Qaida in Iraq killed. Well, with an average of 250,000 rounds expended for every insurgent killed, don't you think one bullet would finally hit him? Sneaky bastard. Use the MAOAB fellas...use the MOAB... You could have lured him out of hiding with a dozen cheerleaders and a snow-cone maker months ago. You know it didn't take so long because he was in the shower! Problem is, most of these assholes prefer the company of other dudes, which is wrong...creepy...and wrong.

Small, rural towns hit hardest by Rita. This is too stupid to even make fun of...

French Police Foil Paris Metro Terror Plot. When I stop laughing I'll comment!

Iran Threatens to Resume Uranium Enrichment. Right! Like they ever stopped. Can they spell M-O-A-B?

Bush asks Americans to conserve energy, limit driving. ...Bush! Can you believe he did that? I want to scream out "!!!" Talk about the pot and the fucking kettle! Bush! The same guy that watched the car companies sell the "mammoth car" from Speed Racer as a family vehicle and lets gas prices almost TRIPLE!!! The same guy that used to own an OIL COMPANY! The same guy with an oil company executive for a VICE PRESIDENT! Hey Sir, do you know how much that freakin 747 burns up every minute? Besides that, we're in one oil country that we saved from being wiped off the face of the earth...and buying our fuel to operate here, while we're in another one buying THEM their fuel! Arrrgh!!! Flabbergasting AND Dumbfounding!!! Now I hear kids are being told to miss school in Georgia so the state can save gas. That's pretty friggin stupid...

Consumer Confidence Drops To A 15-Year low. Ya'think? Duhhh. I wonder why? A hysterically expensive war; the biggest natural disaster one-two punch in history; continuing terroism; a trade deficit that would choke a donkey; our government bickering and back biting each other like 16 year-old cheerleaders while the rest run around like cats with their asses on fire, or just stand there like deer in the headlights! Through all this, the President is taking the blame for everything. Pretty soon, he'll have to answer-up for Jimmy Hoffa, the Mars Rover, and Pepsi Clear! Whoever convinced him to take the wrap for the disaster response needs an ass-kicking. Somebody stop me...

...and the clincher...

Trump, Knauss expecting first child together. Exclamation points all around!!! Holy smokes, Captain Combover got his wife pregnant! A man with a wife 20 years younger than him and we're actually surprised about that? I'd be surprised (and saddened) if he didn't get her pregnant!!! Donald Trump is the man...