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March 11, 2006

Thoughts for today...

...Why do they call them think "tanks?" What kind of tank are they talking about? The armored tank that has firepower and can charge the enemy and use decisive tactics and engagement to destroy, or a tank like a septic or fish tank where ooze collects, combines, and coagulates with other forms of ooze...

When was it determined that the breast was a focal point and an object of desire for women? What if it was something like their foreheads? Would we still celebrate the size of their forehead? Would they augment their foreheads? Would they cover them if they were modest and expose them if they weren't? Would we disregard the "hooters, bozo's, snoobs, rack, melons, jugs, taa-taa's, cans, etc?

Is all Mexican food the mixed together, tasteless, "let's smother it in hot peppers and cheese" kind of retch that I see? If you have to add hot peppers, cheese, or sour cream to it to taste it, then why eat it? Do you mix all your food together?

What if Ronald McDonald's first name was Al?

Why do some women wear more under their clothes than they do to the beach, but get all freaked out if you see them in their underwear? Hey girls, I have news...if you don't want a guy to see what your equipment looks like in your underwear, a bikini does the same thing. Do women make a conscious decision when it's acceptable for other men to see them in their underwear? If someone sees your wife or sister in a bathing suit, they can see her crotch just like they could if she was in her underwear... Oops!

So the American was the only hostage to get killed out of those Christian missionaries in Iraq. I'm not surprised, it's no big shock, and I actually expected that. They didn't kill him first because he was a Christian missionary in a Muslim country. They did it because he was the American.

So who made everyone hate Americans so much? Politicians...not any of us. Stereotypes like fat booze-hound rich white guys making deals and swaggering around like they're royalty in our country.

Is it really Walmart's problem?

Hypothetical situation:

I grow up with limited education and questionable skills, so I go to work in the local factory, where I get pressured into joining the local union because "they fight for me." So while I'm doing some mindless job, the union is fighting the company that gave me the job. They fight and fight, foster bad relations with the company and create an adversarial relationship...all for me. The company on the other hand, now doesn't like me because I'm their adversary, and they think they're being pushed into paying me more than other companies (especially overseas) pay their employees to do the same work. Who am I to complain? After all, $15 dollars an hour to make razor blades and beer huggies is pretty good.

Eventually it gets to the point where in order to pay me the money the union requires (in order to not go on strike and stop the company from making any money), they have to either take the quality out of the products we make, or employ less of us. They can't fire any of us because guessed it...union rules. So the company takes the quality out of the product (just like the United Auto Workers forced the car companies to do in the 70's), and sales drop, so less money is coming in. All the while, the union is demanding raises for members and increases in health care coverage and cost of living allowances or they'll stop working until they get it. This is money the company doesn't have, but faced with a strike, they take more quality out of the product in order to limp along under the union rules.

Not able to bear the burden of more money going out than coming in, and with flagging sales, the factory is forced to decide which product line is the least profitable...and stop it. Wouldn't you know, as bad luck would have it, that's my product line. So instead of going with the newest employees first, they lay off everybody...well, everybody except a union steward who magically gets transferred to another line while the rest of us are laid off. A couple months later, I find out the factory now makes the products from my product line, in a factory in China, where people are glad to have a job. Oh, and they just stopped another product line to ship it overseas before they get in such bad financial straits again. Again, the union reps weren't laid off.

So the union, in their greed, lost my job for me. Of course, the union reps all still have jobs, and they want dues from me even though I'm not working...because they're working to get my job back. Sure they are...

Greed is to blame. Greed from companies trying to make a profit; greed from the unions trying to make a profit, and greed from workers thinking they should make 20 bucks an hour to make garbage cans (which now come from China along with the beer huggies, razor blades, garden hoses, shovels, toys, sports equipment, sneakers, and every other damn thing, including the lingerie in the AAFES post exchange catalog.) Why do you think America's biggest company is Wal-Mart and they import 70% of their products from overseas? Americans want to buy cheap shit but it costs too much for companies to make cheap shit...with union labor.

Of course, does the government care about lowering the trade deficit, keeping kids out of sweat shops and factories overseas, and keeping American jobs? About as much as the unions do.

So don't look for the union label, bacause all you'll find is underwear from Mexico, socks from Thailand, T-shirts from Sri Lanka, pants and shoes from China, a belt from Chile, and a hat from Korea. Look around the house for American goods and good luck finding any. Look out in the driveway, and you'll see Japan, Germany, or Korea. Put up an American flag at your's made in China. Sure we invented the TV and the computer, but now those things and all other electronics are made in Asia, where people find nobility in working and aren't born with the idea that someone owes them something.

Want to find the truly American thing in this situation? Greed. Now that's American. Ignorance and arrogance too.

March 9, 2006

Men's Rights Group Eyes Child Support Stay

Okay, look at this Putz...

I have news for him. News he may not want to hear...

Sorry dude, but you banged with it.

This is some real after-the-fact bullshit. So what women have more choices when their pregnant. In case anyone forgot, they're the ones that do that. I know our country hates gender roles, but life's a bitch...literally for this guy. And so what men have no choices after the girl gets pregnant.

Here's a revelation for all the guys that can't keep it in their pants...if you play with a loaded gun, don't be surprised if it goes off. (hey, some double entendre') Literally, if you can't put a rubber on, maybe you're too stupid to be allowed to breed in the first place, but if you believe anything a American woman tells you, then you're proving you're an idiot.

Now don't go thinking I'm some liberal, bite your tongue. In fact, pierce your tongue because the way you're going to get bent over by the court system, you may as well learn to be gay. I got raked over the coals during my divorce by a corrupt and sexist court system, but I learned to live with it. Do you know why? Because it's my son, no matter who he lives with. Of course, I wanted him to being with, but she doesn't even deserve custody of him, the stupid slut that she is.

So go ahead and try your frivolous lawsuit. Sure men get no choice, but you have one in the beginning. Next time take it...and bang her with someone else's Johnson.

Oh silly man, thinking anyone cares...

Armed man takes pupils hostage in French school...and the French Army Surrenders

Oh, so it's only in our country where nutcases come to school with guns? I don't think so.

Maybe he wants answers to questions he's been asking himself for years, like"

-Why does my entire body smell like goat cheese?
-Who told the women to stop shaving under their arms?
-Why does the French Army fold up faster than a Swiss Army knife?
-Why does the sound of bullets make French Army troops put their arms in the air?
-Does Jacques Chirac ever smile? Can he smile?
-Why do they call them "French" whores?
-When will Jean-Luc Picard run for President?
-Where are the French Maids I saw in the Fredericks of Hollywood catalog?
-Why can't I stop fat people from French kissing?
-Who decided to eat the snails in the first place?
-Who called it a "French" tickler?
-I like those American Fries, but you can keep the French toast.
-What makes French roasting different from other kinds of roasting?
-Why do people think we hate them when we really just hate ourselves?
-Why can't we just take places over the right way, instead of the way we did in Vietnam, Haiti, Sierra Leone, French Guyana, Canada, etc.
-Why did they call it Legionnairs Disease if there weren't any Legionairres there?
-Why is a beret right for any occasion?
-Why do people think all mimes are French? I hate mimes?

Yep, this dude probably has a lot on his mind...

China Lashes Back at U.S. on Human Rights

As well they should. They call the United States hypocrites when we criticize other countries about their human rights issues. Sad to say, but they're RIGHT!

Of course, there are a few angles they don't see. Like how we enacted civil rights laws in our country, but some ethnic groups seem to subjugate themselves, wait for hand-outs, and blame others for their plight instead of helping each other to succeed as a group.

They see us help other countries during natural disasters...and where were they?

They oppose us on every initiative in the United Nations and are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

They employ child labor and suppress the value of their dollar to kill us on trade...and it's working.

They think we're oppressing Muslims, but even after an attack on our own soil, we allow millions of Muslims to live in the U.S.

However, they also see us spend money on other countries infrastructure to our own peril. We fight wars and burn billions of dollars on supposedly fighting terrorism abroad, to our own domestic peril. They watch as we save Pakistanis and Indonesians from natural disasters while we fiddle-f--k around with the recovery from Hurricane Katrina. They see us do nothing as American companies close down on our soil only to open up on theirs...then China cheats and kills us economically.

I find the hypocrisy of allowing Chinese people, who really live in a communist society, to come over here as tourists, and we force Cubans (also from a communist society) to risk their lives to come here. Ironically, we pay both the Cubans and the Chinese, only the Cubans get the money handed to individuals here while the Chinese government (remember those commies) get the money sent over to them.

I agree that an internal focus should be the goal. We should stop jumping in every time there are people being murdered, natural disasters, diseases, and all that. Then we should buy American products only. After that, we take all the money we spend overseas and clean up the cities.

Then we tell China to go f--k themselves.

In Honor of Chavez and Castro

...and their obvious love affair, as well as today's pop-culture issues...

It's really called "Broke-Country Mountain."

Flawed drama about post-combat tragedies

I'd love to know from which angle this play comes? The horror of battle? The problems with separations? The loyalty of spouses? I have a sneaky suspicion it comes from the bullshit angle that war turns men into brutal beasts who come home and take it out on their women who sat home like angels crying their eyes out while they were gone.

Has anyone ever heard of "Jody?" The mythic figure fabled in military lore and talked about every time soldiers march or run in formation?

"Ain't no use in calling home...Jody's got your girl and gone."

Well, a fight between a returning soldier and his wife that leads to his beating her to death has to have another element involved that would lead him to snap than just her moving the furniture. A scene in a play like that makes the assumption that soldiers are ignorant neanderthals that club their women unless they follow orders to the letter.

Having served at Fort Bragg, I can report that not a weekend goes by that you don't see wives of deployed soldiers out in the clubs, on dates, involved with other men, and doing things that are definitely not designed to help their marriages. That's Jody. What's worse is that other soldiers at Bragg not deployed disrespect their deployed brethren by pursuing their wives while they're away. That's Jody too.

"You know what happens when you're gone...your wife's got Jody mowing the lawn."

Then you have people who carry a weapon and live in danger for over a year and need to depressurize, only to come back and have things thrown on them. I know a troop that survived six IED attacks, two offensives, the initial invasion, and a year of street patrols and firefights, only to be told by his wife that staying home with their three year-old was harder than what he was doing. Then he went home to find out that she was involved with a soldier three ranks and 10 years younger than he, and that the neighbor's wife (whose husband was deployed, and was the person who was supposed to help his wife), was pregnant by the buddy of the soldier his wife was dating. When he confronted the soldier, the troop actually acted proud of what he was doing. To add insult to injury, during the divorce, the wife got custody of the three year-old. Did he take out his baseball bat? No, but if he did, I'd understand.

"Ain't no use in feeling blue...the kids call Jody 'Daddy' too."

Have some soldiers just come home and snapped? Sure. Have these soldier's upbringings and battle experiences contributed in some way? Probably. Could they have snapped because of something stupid like the bills, the house, the car, or thinking they've been disrespected? Are there tragedies out there? Yes. It happens. That's Jody too. But did the men have sole responsibility and the women are all just victims? Hell no. Oh, and remember, in an equal-opportunity army, Jody's a girl too.

"Ain't no use in feeling blue...Jody's got your girlfriend/boyfriend too..."

Writing a play about this kind of thing is sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, and talking about something you don't know jack-shit about, so stop it.

It's America's 'pastime,' but a Latin obsession

Wrong! It's not America's "pastime." I'll tell you why...

First, America's pastime is suing each other.

Next, baseball stopped being America's pastime when the business of baseball became more important than the game. When salary caps, bonuses, multi-millionaires; hundred-dollar tickets, stadium deals, strikes; arbitration, performance enhancing drugs, and Congressional hearings took precedence over the sound of the bat, the pitch, the hustle on the field, the camaraderie of the fans; bringing the kids to the game, and so on. When a hot dog and a coke became $12 dollars.

Last, it stopped being the pastime when players decided they were more important than the game, when they could verbally and physically assault people who pay to see them; once players decided they needed to charge for an autograph to some little kid; when players could take drugs and lie about it...making the assumption we're stupid; when stadiums steeped in sports history and loved by fans were knocked down for not generating the right kind of revenue.

Basically, greed screwed it all up. Greed...and ego.

Latin countries understand it's more than the players. It's an event; a part of their culture like how the British love their soccer (football). The players want the fans to come and be part of the spectacle, to celebrate not just their team, but the sport as part of their country. They want it to have a party atmosphere, to be festive. To them, it represents the best in sport, not just for the talented players or the action on the field, but for its nostalgia and history. It's an institution.

We don't have that in America anymore. We should stop kidding ourselves. Years ago, when the race for baseball revenue started, it rang the death knell for our national pastime. Now seeing players sign for $250 million just glaringly shows our greed, our ego, and our ignorance, not to mention what the baseball industry really considers important...the money, not the game.

Madonna getting her just desserts

So her daughter is asking her tough questions and is obsessed with gays? This is what normal people call her past "coming to bite her on the ass."

All those years of being a freak are tough to hide, and now that her kids need a role model, they find mommy a bit lacking, not to mention conflicted and ambiguous.

Lourdes asks why she kissed Britney Spears, and she gives her the bullshit "I'm the mommy pop-star" line? No Madonna, you're the egotistical and stereotypical singer seeing the end of her career and trying to hold onto your youth as your career starts to flag. Truth live with it. By the way, how are those dark roots doing today?

Kids know bullshit when they see it, so saying she's "passing her energy" is just an insult to her own kid, who is obviously smarter than her mother realizes, and probably smarter than her mother. Once you "pass your energy," your energy should be gone, so why keep trying to be a pop star? It's like passing the baton...once you pass it, you don't have it anymore. Pretending you do just makes you look silly and pathetic.

Did Madonna ever hear of the term "putting two and two together?" Her daughter sees her published in "Out" magazine, a magazine of the gay community, and hears she is an "icon" of the same group of people. Then she sees her mother kiss another woman in front of an audience (a move a person who is "out" would do), and naturally puts two and two together. Then she's feuding with Elton John, someone who is openly gay and marries a man. How long will Madonna think her daughter is stupid?

Whatever happens, Madonna can rest assured she failed as a role model. Her nine-year old being obsessed with gays? Who put that in her head?

Dear Madonna,
Congratulations Dipshit....instead of your daughter playing with her friends, riding her bike, and being a kid, she's worried about sex-roles before the age of 10. Stop dragging her to all your adult functions like she's a handbag. She's not some accessory you need to show your friends. You're not a 47-year old "Diva," you're a 47 year-old parent. Start acting like one. Life is not all about you.

What are you getting her for Christmas? A bustier'?

Cuban Americans, White House to discuss policy

This is NOT how the Cuba policy should be discussed. Should I say that again? NOT!

Cuban-American members of Congress meeting with White House officials adds up to little more than a lobby group pushing their own agenda, but without the political kickbacks. This is a national issue and it should get time on the floor in order for the entire Congress to discuss it.

As a Miami resident and an American, I don't agree with the policy. I don't believe Cubans are refugees who come over and should be entitles to social security money. This is a charity and a lure to Cubans, creating a stronger draw for them than the urge to leave home. The policy also entices Cubans to risk their lives coming over. In plain language, the policy gets people killed. What's more, calling a Cuban a refugee is inappropriate in light of the political situation in the Caribbean and Central/South America. Far too many people live under Communist, Socialist, Marxist, or corrupt/tyrannical governments to single-out Cuba for refugee status.

You have to wonder about refugee status and the appropriateness of the law when you see Cubans in America waving their Cuban flags, creating Cuban sections of town, celebrating Cuban holidays, etc. They celebrate another country while this one gives them taxpayer money no taxpayer approved they could have. They act like they would rather be back in Cuba. People are treated worse in other places, so what makes Cuba so important? Years ago people came to America to be Americans. Now they come to be expatriots. I know, don't tell me the story of the people who sacrifice to come here in order to send money back home. If coming to where I come from is such a sacrifice...then don't.

Cubans aren't the only ones to do that. During the last Venezuelan elections, Venezuelans in Miami drove around town with Venezuelan flags on their cars, but not one of them put up an American flag. Maybe the US government would be more eager to help people if they didn't show how much they'd rather be somewhere else?

Being spit on by a Venezuelan when I was in uniform outside my South Beach apartment doesn't help my attitude either...

Ironically, I'm writing this while listening to the Buena Vista Social Club. You see, I want to go to Cuba, go fish in Cuba, and have nothing against it. Sure Castro is a dictator, but so what? People live worse in other places, but those people don't have anyone in Congress. Maybe going there would change my attitude?

I just think the policy is wrong, as is the fact Cubans lament their homeland once they get here. If someone misses their homeland so much, they shouldn't have left it in the first place. It's our own fault. We don't use the most "adult" diplomacy toward Cuba. The fact we use a bad policy that entices them to risk their lives to come here is our fault. Our policy gets Cubans killed.

March 8, 2006

Thoughts for Wednesday the 7th.

-We put terrorists in Guantanamo, kill them in Iraq and Afghanistan and hunt for them all over. They fly into the World Trade Center, crash into the Pentagon, fight us in the Middle East, and swear to kill all of us...but the spokesman for the Taliban is a student at Yale.

Yale is the same school where GW Bush and John Kerry went to school... Hmm.

They say we have 12 million illegal aliens in our country. How do they know?

Why do Taliban spokesmen get to go to Yale and illegal aliens get free college tuition? I think someone is screwing-up.

An Iranian student plows his SUV into a group of students to avenge the way the US has been treating Muslims. What about after the Pakistan Earthquake? What about the Muslims in Africa? What about our support for Egypt? What about all the free Muslims in our country? I guess we didn't learn our lesson about Middle Eastern "students" after 9-11. No big surprise how freaking stupid we are. I bet political correctness is to blame for that one.

If you call the spot where a nuclear bomb explodes "ground-zero," why are we using the same phrase to identify the spot where the World Trade Center used to be?

If you start catching fish, are you still "fishing?" If the game "go fish" involves blindly searching for a card, and a plumber blindly "fishes" something out of the drain, if I cast my line to a fish I actually see, am I "fishing?"

How can you work consecutive 15-hour days, exercise, eat fairly well, take it easy on caffeine after 12 noon and still have problems sleeping?

If a spaceship landed and a being got out, would it be an illegal alien, a plain old alien, or a trespasser?

Same spaceship lands and a being gets out. The being has the sexual organs of both men and women, and is in incredible shape by American standards...what do you do (besides being strangely fascinated)?

Same spaceship lands and Alec Baldwin gets out. What do you do?
Answer: Remember to put the fire out and stomp on the little pieces. I have the big ones.

Why do congressmen from Arizona need to "tour the border." It's been there all along and you've done absolutely jack shit about it so far, so what gives?

Why do they use the word "bob" to describe something floating and..well...bobbing up and down? Why do we call people name Robert "Bob?" Why bob? Why not some other word? Maybe Frank? Also, aren't the girls the ones that are supposed to "bob" up and down? Can't we tell something about a girl (or a guy for that matter), if we see them "bobbing?" I guess people named Richard are safe though, because the terms "dick" and "dicking" are too specific.

What does it mean when you have a dream you're a lobster driving a 1970 Eldorado convertible down the street and it starts to rain melted butter. Sitting next to you is Hunter Thompson, and in the back seat is a guy in a lobster costume that Thompson keeps yelling at for being a "poser," saying if he was going to be a lobster, he should be a real lobster?

Antique: an item produced in a bygone era.

I was born in 1964. When I look for used cars of that year, I have to look in the "Antique and Classic Car trader." Some people call them classics, while others say antique. I don't mind looking there. I know how old I am, and I like older things.

Old stuff is good, like old surfboards, old comfy clothes, old boats, old dogs, old furniture, old people, etc.

I find that no matter how well someone restores a car of that year, they always treat them gingerly, expect them to be tempermental, and don't use them as their everyday ride. It kind-of sounds like dating advice.

So this begs the question (well, at least to me); Why do they consider cars as old as me antique or classic, but not airplanes? You look at used airplanes nowadays and they talk about one built in 1958 like it's brand new. Yes, I know, constant maintenance, parts replacement according to a scheduled lifespan, blah, blah, blah. Still, there's no getting around the fact it's a small airplane that was built back when they were making Edsels.

Would I fly in a commercial airliner that was over 40? Nope. Would I get into a 40 year old car without thinking "wow, this is an oldie but a goodie?" Probably not. Sure, they're exciting, traditional, sturdy, and make us think of better times, but that's the cars. As for airplanes, all I'm thinking is "I wonder what's changed in metallurgy and engine technology in 48 years, and will the wings stay on? Would I want to use a 40-year old roll of aluminum foil if I found one? Would I be able to?

I would contend that the only older things we should stick to are our parents, older women, and things that stay on the ground. As for airplanes, it's time to call them antiques.

At least the ghouls are well paid

Panhandle woman sues over possible contaminated tissue transplant. As well she should.

Usually I can think about the depths of human greed, of how low we can go, and fail to be surprised. This story really makes me squirm, and I don't know why. I'm actually surprised.

Grave robbing and stealing bodies in order to cut them up and sell the parts? That's wrong on so many levels I'm just flabbergasted. Yuck. To think there are people so low they would desecrate human bodies for profit just disturbs me.

What's next? Eating the bodies? Stuffing them so you can use them like the "safety guy" you put in the passenger seat next to you? Hey, why have a fake dummy when you can have Uncle Larry? Maybe selling the parts on eBay? Okay, then I'd like a new large intestine. After ten months in the desert, it's been acting kind of funny. Do you offer any warranty? Can I put a colon on a credit card?

As for the body not being screened for HIV, I think once the human body drops four or five degrees after death the HIV virus dies. I hope so.

Two endangered American crocodiles found shot to death

One of them had a gun.

The other had a bootleg DVD of Brokeback Mountain.

Authorities think it was a murder-suicide.

Today's Darwin award winners

I know, any death of a kid is tragic, but you have to wonder a couple things:

-What were they doing playing ball in the bedroom?
-Why was there a sword on the wall in a kids room that wasn't fixed in such a way so it wouldn't come down or get knocked off the wall by something? What's next? A dart board and some throwing knives for the 9-year old?
- If one slash from a sword falling off a wall was enough to kill, then does that mean on top of everything else, the sword was sharpened?

I need to say "what the f---k is wrong with you people?" Let me start the chain saw before I put it on the shelf. No need to label the battery acid you put in that water bottle. When hammering, make sure you put your hand as close to the nail as possible. Forget those rear view mirrors... they're for sissies! That dog's not going to attack, no matter how mad he looks or those tooth-looking things I think he's showing you. Disregard the growling, he's just clearing his throat.
Those exhaust fumes don't bother me. Don't you think that smoke alarm is a bit loud? Put your hand in that barracuda's mouth so we can see what happens. Don't worry, hornets love to play. That snake doesn't look poisonous to me.

I personally have never seen a sword someone put on the wall being a sharpened sword...not even a Samurai sword. If you have a sharpened sword, it's no longer a's a weapon. To have it on a rack where it can fall off is like loading a gun and tossing it to the 9-year old.

Don't call it an accident. The parents were either negligent, or this is a bullshit excuse for how it actually happened. It does have a "my dog ate it" feel to it. A slash from a slow moving sword with no power behind it. I smell a rat.

I don't think there are any future brain surgeons in this family. In fact, it seems as if Darwin stepped in and used their own ignorance to cull the herd. Ironic. It shows that the phrase "accident waiting to happen" is no joke. Neither is a kid getting killed because of stupidity.

March 7, 2006

Christopher Reeve's Widow Dies at Age 44

I wonder; if her husband never had his accident and was wheelchair-bound, and she never had to devote all her time to his care and the stress that comes from that, would she be dead now?

Exposure to gays leaves woman emotionally scarred


My first reaction is OMG! The one after that is hard to describe in writing but it comes with spitting on the floor while making the sound "oi."

I have news for this woman...they didn't go out to the bar, have someone slip them a "Mickey," and it made them decide to go home and slip each other the Dickey(it rhymes). If so, that was some of the best X ever!

So you have to ask yourself:

1. Was it that damned Brokeback Mountain that finally "outted" them?
2. How long has this been going on? Since before or after the movie premier?
3. What is it about you that makes your husband find your brother's ass preferable to your own?
4. Are you a frigid, nagging, stereotypical American woman? Are you capable of love? How are you between the sheets? Was it a position you refuse to do? Do you keep yourself in shape and the bikini-line "policed-up?"
5. Do you really want to be married to a fag?
6. How come you didn't jump in? Now that would be a psychiatrists wet dream!
7. Did you feel like gouging your eyes out when you saw that?
8. Have you ever heard your brother or husband use the term "fabulous?"
9. Why didn't your husband's sudden career change from electrician to interior decorator not ring any alarms?
10. How does he defend what he did? What's the real explanation? A magic pill...yeah, right.

Okay honey, here's some advice; it's not a man-bag!

Now it's time to get even. Go out and find the most smoking-hot woman you can find and let him catch you in the act.

Wait! That would probably just turn him back to being hetero...


I heard the other day that Sean Combs wants to be called "Diddy" now. Hmmm. Let's review, shall we?

First it was Sean Combs. Then it was Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs. That was followed by "Puff Daddy," which was followed by "Puffy," then "P-Diddy," all of which not considered as "hip" and trendy as just plain old "Diddy." Maybe it's the efficiency of the one-word name...

I have questions about the further evolution of one Mr. Combs....a talented and successful man for sure, but someone who suffers from obvious identity issues. After all, who is Sean Jean? Is he French too?

After Diddy, I think it will go to "Do-wa-Diddy," which, as anyone knows, comes with a soundtrack from the glorious British Band Manfred Mann. I see a dub session in the future since rappers apparently have no talent or patience when it comes to melody, but here's some advice; somebody already did Ice-Ice Baby, and "what's his name" already did Led Zeppelin. I know...what balls...

This will undoubtedly be followed by "Do-wa-Diddy-Diddy," and after by "Diddy-Diddy-do." Of course, the next logical adaptation would be the even more efficient "Diddy-do," but since that sounds like a noun and tends to make people think of doggie doo, Mr. Combs will probably skip that one and go straight for the next evolution...Diddy Dum.

Then I ask you; why doesn't he save us all the waiting, skip the foreplay and all the machinations thus saving us all a mess of time and change his name now to it's final maxim...Dum.

Of course, you heard it from Brainclogger, not B-Clogger or B-Clog or even just Clog.

Definitely not B-Diddy...