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April 7, 2006

Money talks and B.S. walks...

This broad goes from the Florida Secretary of State to Congress, and now wants to go to the Senate, has a history of corruption, and said she would put in 10 million of "her own" dollars to her campaign. It makes me think a few things:

This proves that people would pay any amount possible for the power and payback that comes with being an American politician. It's also part of the payback for her efforts during the 2000 Florida recount. Yep, Republicans are as crooked as Democrats.

Where the heck did she get $10,000,000?

How does someone caught taking illegal campaign contributions get to keep being a politician? Easy. It's because of the culture of corruption. I welcome any and all contributions to the Brainclogger fund...

A testament to the truly worthless... This nutcase is currently in the can, and tries to hire a hit man to "whack-out" his wife, his brother's girlfriend, his shrink, and his brother, who is also a head-shrinker. Wow! Here's a guy that Cornell University pays good money to do research on alcohol's effect on houseplants. What's worse is this guy was actually published in his industry trade magazine. Talk about excitement! The people that actually read "HortTechnology" magazine must be some party animals, eh! Hard to believe these kind of Melvins and Mortimers make a living doing this. Nerds rule! This chiropractor claims he can go back in time to cure illnesses. If so, can he go back to the seventies and kick my brother's ass? I'll give him the money to buy some microsoft stock before he goes. If I could go back in time, I'd go kill the guy that invented disco...but I digress. The guy also invented a treatment program he calls "bahlaqueem," which he admits means nothing but sounds good. He also denies being a bit nutty. Starbucks manager by day...drummer in a Motley Crue "tribute band" by night. He got to fill in for Tommy Lee in a concert due to a wrist injury to Lee. What this fine gentleman doesn't realize, is that he dedicates his life to idolizing someone else, and the peak...the crowning achievement of his life just happened. It will never get any better for you. Ever. The rest of your life will now be meaningless to you, just as all of your prior life was meaningless to the rest of us. ...take the band with you first before you go, and make sure you get your whole head in front of the shotgun. Have a nice trip. The owner of the now-famous "One-eyed kitten," who I affectionately refer to as the "One-eyed kitten Lady," wants the cat's remains to go to a religious group instead of to Ripley's because of the cats "religious significance." Cat people irritate me. Dude isn't happy with the dick surgery he had, so he mails a bomb to the doctor? How weak is that! If you're pissed about the status of your "unit," I say that's time for a direct confrontation, not some sissy maneuver through the mail. Then he pleads guilty using a WMD, even though he was only targeting one guy! Hey, why do 2 years when you can do 5, right? I think these passive aggressive tendencies and feelings of inadequacy would find a quick cure if the guy with the "Mini-me" handled his issues in person. There you go, advice from Dr. Brainclogger, who also notices the guy comes from "Reamstown." Ironic, because that's what the inmates call jail. With a broken tally-whacker and an inferiority complex, it won't be like a day at the beach... Look out, here come the Latin baby-shower brawlers. Yo esay, ju got sun-kina prollem, mang? Ju lookin at my stroller, vato? Afte I fold deez "one-zies" we're throwin-down, Holmes. Of course, it's hard to be scared of a guy named "Jazz," and funny that people felt the need to be armed at a baby shower. Of course, one of these tough guys thought he needed to take a stick to a pregnant chick. Hey, that rhymed! Here's another one; Juan and Jazz both have a sore azz. In the Big House, in the Clink, now you have the jailhouse sphinc. Up the river, there you go, now you're Bubba's little Ho. The article says "Fake Sheik, phony art, real jail time." There you go, an Arab in the U.S. trying to get "paid" like everyone else. An immigrant trying to rip people off. Wow, he really did assimilate well. He has his piece of the American dream. Now true to form, he'll go to jail and convince himself he's innocent and only in jail because the "man" put him there. Afterward, he'll recuit all the prison Muslims and convince them they're disaffected too, instead of being the crack-heads, murders, rapists, assholes and general scum they really are. Then he'll get out, start a mosque in New York, get a tax break from the government, and plan to start a "Jihad" on the "Infidel" Americans who live so decadently. Of course, this is the same shithead that impersonated a Saudi in order to cheat people out of their money for his own greed and ill-gotten gain. ...but we're the bag guys... Why, at $3.oo a gallon, did people trust a Saudi in the first place? People in California sell Chronic Candy," which is supposed to taste like marijuana, but doesn't have any THC, so the government out there wants to ban it. The government of Oakland...which is connected to San Francisco...the 60's drug culture's virtual "epicenter" and they want to ban a lollipop that tastes like "the ganja?" The pot-smoking, acid-dropping, tune-in, drop-out, get-high hall-of-fame wants to ban a lollipop because they think it "improperly influences teens and young adults..." They say the candy is already banned in Chicago and parts of New York. That's great! They don't do jack-squat about the real drug problems in our country, but a pot-flavor lollipop is public enemy number-one! It's sad, and typical of our weak-willed, power-hungry, misguided, greedy, crooked, PC, lying sack-of s--t politicians. As for the guy that makes Chronic's a good idea, and a money maker, but worthless to society, therefore making you worthless. Donate the profits to charity. A glowing testimony to the worthlessness of lawyers and the rediculous nature of our legal system. To people went to court to argue for custody of a freaking Poodle! A poodle! It's not even a real dog! It's name is Zena. What do you want to bet it was named after "Zena, Warrior Princess?" So that also means there is a guy arguing for custody of a female poodle. Egads! How's your manhood now, pal? If I was the judge, I would have kept the poodle and threw the two people in jail. Whoever held-out the longest for the dog would be the winner.

Alleged castrator had medical experience

This has an "Uncle Jesse gives Uncle Clem the 'blumpkin' in the woodshed" kind of ring to it. It's just plain creepy.

So here we are, three old backwoods redneck country rope-smokers attracting other men to their place and then treating them to a Lorena Bobbit style winky whacking. Ouch! Yep, they're doing their best to further gay rights.

I think it's more like the "Hic and the hound-dog" rather than master-slave.

April 5, 2006

Hilton Considered for Mother Theresa Role

Okay, Idiot Alert!!! Freakin Dot-Head. Now watch, he is insulting an icon of the Christian community and nobody's going to say jack-squat. If it was Oliver Stone casting Dolph Lundgren to play Muhammad, the complaints would fall from the sky like a tickertape parade.

She must not be a liberal

"Jessica Alba, Playboy end spat with Hefner apology."

She accepted Hugh Hefner's apology for creating the impression (by having her on the cover of the magazine) that there were nude pictures of her inside. She apparently felt a sense of justice and dropped her lawsuit.

Wow! I'm stunned. With suing people as the national pastime of our country, I would expect to see some kind of mention about Hefner coughing-up some dough. I'm speechless.

Sex tourism thriving in Bible Belt

Don't you think it's high-time they removed Atlanta from the Bible Belt? The article said it was the "buckle" of the Bible Belt. More like the un-buckled buckle.

In a city that has a Ludacris Day, where a prerequisite for government service is you not be Caucasian, where corruption and inefficiency, nepotism, greed, vice, and graft reign supreme, I'm not surprised in the least by this article.

In a city that celebrates "bling-bling," excess, "thuggery," all things Escalade, and is more concerned about "Sean Jean" and FUBU than morality, crime, drug control, proper fiscal policy, or proper child education, I'm not surprised. Atlanta sets race relations back years.

Of course, the sexual exploitation of children is just disgusting, and anybody that wants to have sex with a ten year-old needs a serious beating, and 14 cities were named as centers for this sort of depravity, but Atlanta was number one.

As for the "Bible-Belt"'s a fallacy. What Bible is this? If it was real, this other crap wouldn't be happening there. Or it it that sex and money, ignorance and greed are more attractive to people in Atlanta than God?

Now I'll be called racist for telling the truth.

Homeland Deputy Arrested in Seduction Case

Hey, I don't have time to plan for natural disasters, terrorist attacks, or worry about hurricane recovery, I'm too busy trying to pick-up 14 year-old kids on the internet! Why worry about the New Orleans people getting fresh food when I'm shooting for some high-school freshman "stuff."

I know what turns on 14 year-old work picture with my DHS pin and my TSA lanyard! I'm a sexy bitch. She must see me as a big piece of 55 year-old "man candy!" I don't think so. Getting snagged like that is so classic. Bad boys, bad boys...

Of course, proof that these governmental idiots get special treatment, and probably the funniest line in the article is; "There was no immediate response to messages left on Doyle's government-issued cell phone and his e-mail, and he could not be reached by phone at the jail for comment." Hey, if I ever go to jail I'd appreciate it if "The Slammer" would screen my calls too.

Then again, he can be as big a shithead as he wants...he's a federal government civilian "politician wanna-be." Politicians get away with that kind of thing. Can you say Bill Clinton? Gary Condit? Ted Kennedy? For those of us in the military, the mere perception of a lack of integrity or morality is enough to cost us our jobs. Our standard of conduct is higher than for those who send us into harm's way, and there's something wrong with that. There's also something wrong with Mr. Boyle.

Teacher charged with raping student 28 times

...while he lied to his father about where he was staying in order to go bang this fat broad, and while his little buddy watched! Of course, the law says she was the rapist, which is almost comical.

28 times from 24 March to 31 March? If you spread it over the eight days (like she did), that's 3.5 times per day! Otherwise, there was some heavy-duty stuff happening, and on a bunch of school nights to boot! When did she find time for work?

Dad must be so proud...and concerned his son's stamina may be far greater than his own. Not.

Half-a-million-dollar bail? Wow! That's one expensive piece-of-ass.

...well, she is willing to do it 28 times in eight days...

So I've been called "homophobic"

Phobia- An irrational, persistent fear or dread.

I wouldn't exactly call it a "phobia," per se. Well, on second thought, a bearded 300-pound dude in a tu-tu would scare the hell out of me. In fact, I think all "gay pride" events would scare me. A hundred or so guys dressed like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and people dressed like they're in the Village people is disturbing, if not just downright frightening. Face it, most of those events are a testament to bizarre behavior, and I say they hurt their cause. If they marched in khaki pants and polo shirts, I would expect for people to listen to their point of view, not just find them a curiosity.

Now I wouldn't say I was homophobic. If it was truly a fear of mine, I would confront it in a fine, expedient military manner and eliminate the cause of my fear. I don't think I'll do that. I'd rather just live and let-live, with one caveat...I want to live in peace, so as people try to further any cause, not just gay rights, be assured I don't want to hear it and leave me alone.

I also don't think, as a lesbian, that I am averse to all forms of homosexuality. You know, the guy version of it is invasive and just plain creepy, but I can understand the girl a lesbian, that is. Besides, the only thing that I find irritating is what is commonly referred to as "flamers" and "bull dikes." If you want to be a girl, then become a girl, but don't be a faggy guy. If you want to be a guy, then be a guy, but not a masculine female. No matter how much they try, a guy will never look good in halter tops or fish nets, and belly-button rings are for girls. Maybe I find the growing androgeny of America irritating too, I don't know.

As for gay movies, I have no problem with them either. I'm not going to see them, so there's no issue. Why won't I? I don't want to. I'm not interested. Sorry if the liberals find my freedom of choice offensive.

Of course, nothing plays in stereo quite like a stereotype, so here is a gay movie I actually would see...