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January 14, 2006

Anti-gunners call for pellet-gun ban

After an 8th grader in Orlando Florida is shot by police while yielding a pellet gun that closely resembled a 9mm Beretta, members of the senate and proponents of gay cowboy movies called for a national ban on pellet guns, saying it would make it safer for children and Christmas movie watchers the world over. The "Brady bunch" went on to call for boycotts of any stores that sell pellet guns, or guns that look like pellet guns, or pellets that look like guns. Apparently even suppository dispensing devices weren't safe from their liberal wrath, much to the delight of gay groups who said they were tired of being held-up at anal-pellet gunpoint.

In another story, police went over to the house where the parents bought their kid a gun that looked like a real gun and further, that allowed him to take it to school...and slapped the piss out of them. Problem solved. Apparently, if he was forced to pump-up the gun ten-times before he pointed it at the cops, they would have known it wasn't an actual firearm...and not shot him.

When will people remember when the cops come, they're bringing an ass-kicking with them?

Toddler dies after head gets stuck in car window

Now here's a father that needs an ass-kicking.

Sharon fails to come out of coma

Did you ever hear the expression "hoping against hope?" The guy didn't have some little stroke blood clot in his head...he had a blood vessel blow out in his brain and he bled into his skull!!! Reporting that he didn't come out of the coma just makes me want to say "well no shit! What did you expect? Thought he would wake up and say he had to go to work?" He's an old man in obviously poor health who had a brain aneurysm, and people are surprised he's not recovering?

Well, it's a shame but it really is "hoping against hope." Anybody remember Terry Schiavo?

New flights begin at what!

Sure, I can understand the flight to Salt Lake City...the tourist mecca that it is... (gag).

But you still can't get a flight to Atlantic City from Missing In Action (MIA), and have to go to Fort Lauderdale to catch one. Don't even ask about flights to the Bahamas...

Helsinki! Whew! Somebody stop me!

The problem with liberals (well, one of them anyway).

Now you see, Lionel Tate is an asshole punk kid who is headed for either a life sentence or an early grave. Everybody knows it, yet liberal lawyers are acting like they're oh-so worried about his supposed rights. Sure they are.

What these lawyers are really doing is everything they can in order to get some attention, because obviously they didn't get enough as kids. Are people really so concerned with the rights of criminals and miscreants? I don't think so. Why would anyone have such a fervor for defending scum that rob and assault people at gunpoint...people who are just trying to make a living and mind their own business?

The lesser burden of proof ''deprives him of all the rights a person should have when he faces life in prison,'' Rubin said this morning in Fort Lauderdale. Hey Einstein (yes, I'm aware of the double entendre), he was in the can for killing someone, and was supposed to keep his nose clean. Instead, he's been back to jail two times already. Dick...

When we start concentrating on the good people, maybe the bad will get the hint. It's like in the Army, where we spend 95% of our time dealing with 5% of our troops...the bad ones, while the rest suffer because of that. I've learned that hammering the bad makes the rest of the bad wise-up. Lionel Tate is a lost cause and needs to get hammered as an example to the other shitheads out there. He doesn't deserve any more attention than it takes to do that.

Let's move to Sarasota to get away from the "houseless!"

Enough of the mamby-pamby coddling of the "houseless," let's get real. No one wants some bum sleeping on your porch or in your car, so politically correct sympathy is a waste of time and makes people who "support" the homeless look like a bunch of spineless drones. Then the press asks the dude in charge of the Washington-based National Coalition for the Homeless what he thinks?.

Based where? Where did they find him? In Washington? Where in Washington? Is it under the bridge near the Lincoln Memorial? Third trash can from the back gate of the White House? The dumpster behind the National Archives? I don't think so. I wonder how much he gets paid...and where his money comes from? If people have enough dough for a "national coalition," which is another term for a lobbyist, then they have enough for a place to live. They do actually have offices, a web site, paid employees, and get money in a number of ways, including the Combined Federal Campaign which is a yearly donation drive from Department of Defense personnel, and by telemarketing (and we all know how much we love telemarketers).

So they call homeless people lying around drunk, messing up the place "camping," do they? We used to call it loitering or vagrancy, but I guess that was too unkind to the vagrant homeless? So what do we call actual camping? I can see it now...some father somewhere says "come on kids, we're going camping" ...and all the kids start crying."

Funny how we don't talk about where the houseless problem is the worst, just where people living indoors are the biggest bunch of "meanies." I bet if we did, someone would say the problem is because of racism, which is patronizing bullshit that just embarrasses all of us. Yep, it's that kind of thing that makes Americans look so freaking stupid.


January 11, 2006

I have the solution for Mexican Immigration...

In the article, it says remittances from the U.S. (read: welfare from relatives) is the second largest source of foreign currency for Mexico...behind OIL EXPORTS!!!

Hey Washington! Did anybody see the same article?

So here's the solution: Pay us in oil. Yes, you heard us in oil.

Mexico and a bunch of other nations want migrants treated as welcome guests? Well I want to drive a really big car that gets really shitty gas mileage, so as long as we;re nice to people fleeing their country for ours, their country (with Mexico leading the way) can pay us in oil.

Too easy. They need the remittances, we need oil, so it's win-win as far as I can see... Hey, lots of cars are built in Mexico and sold here, so they would only be helping sell more cars, right?

Done deal. Now where's a greedy friggin oil man when you need one?

January 10, 2006

Cubans in Cuba and Mexicans in Mexico

I keep asking myself why Castro and Vincente Fox aren't concerned about their citizens risking their lives to beat-feet on out of there and over to the good old U.S. of A? What? One less mouth to feed? Like they were feeding them in the first place?

Fox really puzzles me more than Castro. I mean, we announce the possibility of building a wall to keep illegal immigrants out, and Fox gets a lawyer in Dallas to stop it, calling the move "anti-Mexican." Well no shit...ya think? It's not anti-Mexican. It's anti illegal Mexicans. "Hey, my citizens have the right to flee from here and go where you are! They have the right to work over there and send back to my country as much of your money as possible!"


Oh, but one thing Vincente Fox is right about is Mexicans will take jobs that blacks won't, and in the process of finding people eager to work, a Mexican will beat a black to the line every time. But that's another story.

I still wonder though, why people who flee their own country try to convince everyone how great it is back there, and don't want to be Americans? What's with the Cuban flag hanging from the rear-view mirror? Did you even have a car in Cuba?

Harry Belafonte is an asshole

He is just another in a long line of people who forget where they come from. No one in Venezuela would get away with talking about their president the way you did about your own. Dick...

You forget that don't you? You and your buddy Danny Glover slither over to a foreign country and embarrass yourselves by demonstrating how disloyal and spineless you both really are. Do you understand that Latins look at people who show no loyalty to their own like they are dogs? To people outside the U.S., you and Mr. Glover are just plain Americans, and have no shame and no character because you show no loyalty. I have an idea!!! While you're out of the country, why don't you both stay out!!! Morons...

How the hell did a Calypso-singing retard get to work for the United Nations in the first place? Oh, I forgot...never mind. He's just another one of the horde of retards over there...

If I was the president, I'd make a special trip out to Harry's house just to kick his ass. Danny Glover's too.

Mr Belafonte: Why would you go to Venezuela to coddle a dictator? I can guarantee Chavez thinks you're an asshole too. Unlike yourself, Chavez values loyalty.

Daylight come and me wanna Harry go home...