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January 19, 2006

Apparently you WILL go blind!

Apparently doctors proved there actually is a connection between men's "equipment" and their eyes. I don't believe, however, that it's the drugs that are at fault, but rather, men messing with nature.

First, impotence drugs are taken predominantly by men over 50, where your "operational capabilities" naturally begin to cease, in a corresponding fashion to female menopause (which should really be called "womanopause," but that's another issue). Then men introduce an artificial substance into their bodies designed to "pump new life into junior." If the age-old myth you hear people tell little kids "if you keep playing with it, you'll go blind" is true, then most men lose some virility just before they would naturally go blind from using their "stuff." Enter the drug that pushes them over the threshold, and boom...fate lost.

I think it comes down to choices. If you want to see Mr. Stiffy and need to take a pill to do it, then understand the trade-off is impaired vision because you really have reached the point of "playing with it too much." Or maybe the vision impairment is really a good side effect. After all, these men are kind-of "older," and the women are probably of corresponding age, so maybe the vision loss helps you to think you're seeing some young chick. Think positive.

Personally, I think most men would never need any impotence drugs if they just maintained both their health, and that of their mate as they got older. Face it, we all gain some weight, and we all age, but when the 100 pound girl you married becomes the 200 pound woman you're stuck with, don't blame yourself for not "catching wood!" No one would blame you for that. The American female "it's all about me" attitude only goes so far. She would probably try to convince you that her extra hundred pounds was your fault, and like the wussies most men are, probably take the blame. I know some self-centered, whining, pain-in-the-ass American chicks that would bring down the most virile 22 year-old. We've seen the commercials..."my man takes blah blah blah." If you stayed in shape, you would have the option to go out and find someone more appealing than that selfish beeyaatch....the ultimate revenge. Of course, if your chica is now older but still "smoking hot," then you're good to go.

Exercising also helps the sex drive, so armed with a lighter woman in better shape with a healthy sex drive, you would most likely be armed with the proper "gun," ready to go off.

I really don't think the "if you keep playing with it, you'll go blind" is actually true of those who just engage in natural "personal maintenance" activities. If so, I would have been as blind as Stevie Wonder 10-years ago. But hey, then I would've really gotten the chicks, because they would all look like Christie Brinkley! Wait a minute...Dad has macular degeneration. Whoa! I don't even want to think about that!

January 17, 2006

Hollywood pushes the gay agenda

So gay and transsexual themes dominated the Golden Globes, eh? Should they? Who is Hollywood making these movies for? Certainly not me.

As if anyone can't see Hollywood pushing their own agenda in who they give awards to, and what they promote. As if... Guess what...Americans really aren't that stupid. When the industry gives out awards to themselves, what else are they going to do but push their lifestyle on others, a lifestyle that's completely abnormal. Well, abnormal unless you like hanging out with liberals, engaging in alcoholism, drug addiction, homosexual copulation, subversion, anti-American activities, wife-swapping, spouse abusing, carrying around shitty little dogs, and wearing a path between the rehab center and the cosmetic surgeon. No thanks.

When we saw "Bareback Mountain" come out, we all said "yep, it'll probably win the Oscar, even if it bombs. Oh yeah, what I want to do on any given night is go spend an insane amount of money to go to a movie and watch a couple rump-wrangling sheep-herders who call themselves "cowboys." Since when did herding sheep make someone a cowboy? If I give myself some medicine, am I a doctor? Does opening a beer make me a bartender?

By the way...what's George Clooney still doing here? I thought he and Alec Baldwin said they were moving away when Bush got elected? Well, add lying to the list of things Hollywood people do.

I have the apology Pakistan demands right here...

It goes something like this:

-We're sorry your country sucks. I can't understand why with all those mountains, people don't come there to go skiing in the winter. Oh, I forgot, no ski slopes and too many towel-headed terrorists.
-We're sorry most of your people are uneducated, illiterate retards who blindly follow any idiot that promises a handful of rice and a sheep to fornicate, and are unfortunately too stupid to understand that every time you have a kid it's another mouth to feed.
-We're sorry your economy is non-existent and you have to burn goat shit for firewood
-We're sorry we spent millions of dollars helping you after the earthquake when it's plain to see you don't appreciate it. We promise to not do it again.

How's that?

January 16, 2006

Pakistanis (and others) have very short memories...

I think it is more and more evident every day...all the countries we help don't appreciate it. They bitch if we don't help, and they bitch if we do. We send people and aircraft and relief supplies by the ton...when we don't have to, and do they appreciate it? Hell no. So I think we should stop.

We give taxpayer money to the United Nations. It's like a pet store that sells you dead fish, then later on you find out they charged you double, and yet you still keep going there. Like paying for a beer but only getting an empty glass, going to a car wash that throws mud on your car, or buying a sandwich that makes you sick. We should stop our involvement with them as well. I have a better use for the money...we could go skydiving without parachutes and hope our parachutes will work. Well, that's kind of the same jabbing a knife in your chest and saying "at least I didn't get shot."

Same goes for Mexico, where Mexican smugglers kill our border agents while their president gets American lawyers to stop us from protecting ourselves. When do we get to shoot first?

We send more food to North Korea than any other country, but do we ever say so? We saved South Korea from being wiped off the face of the earth, and do they show their thanks? Hell no, they talk about standing up to the U.S., and protest against us every day. We did the same thing for France, and look how they act toward us. We saved Saudi Arabia from Saddam, and now look how they're squaring us away! (gag).

We let guilt give us a royal screwing and put our country in jeopardy as we watched sniveling President Carter give away the Panama Canal, all our military bases in Panama, all our military capabilities there...the whole damn thing. Good job there Einstein! Thanks for making it 100-times harder to protect our southern border.

What is so wrong in wanting someone to say thank you? All these poorer countries making us feel guilty for having a higher standard of living is a bunch of crap. Oops, there's AIDS in Africa? Then stop having unprotected sex, but don't try to make me feel bad about it like it's my problem...because it's not. Lots of poor blacks in New Orleans eh? How is that my problem, or the president's, or anyone else's other than the mayor, the governor, and those very people's problem? When you let people rely on government hand-outs, you create people who can't fend for themselves, or decide not to. Again, not my problem.

The Peruvian indians are having problems with birth defects, oh no! Let's throw money at them immediately! Or rather, let's not. Instead, we should help them understand what "inbreeding" means. We gotta help the Cubans! Or rather, we don't...until every last one of them that comes here stops trying to us all how great it was there. If it was so great, then why the hell did you leave? Did you bring the Buena Vista Social Club with you? No? Then go back and get them!

On the flip side, the problem in Haiti was created by the United States and its underhanded program of eradicating the Haitian pig back in the 30's. We should fix that. And we should leave the Hawaiians alone. They seem perfectly happy with the worst educational system in the U.S., so let them enjoy their ignorance...bruddah.

I think it's just the ignorance and lack of manners that irritates me the most...and the government spending my money ridiculously. Oh, and Senator's Reid, Kennedy, Schumer, Pelosi, and Clinton, people that call other people "dawg," and stop-lights, announcements in Wal-Mart in Spanish, horseflies, whiners, the "race card," Paris Hilton, "plastic-ware," using the public laundromat, people who are too stupid to flush a toilet but apparently smart enough to fly a military aircraft, Mexican food, family separation, the lack of diesel-powered cars, and...