from today's Miami Herald:
SO YOU HAD A BAD DAY...
Patti LaBelle struggled through a weekend show in Palm Beach County after taking the stage at midnight, at one point sitting down and crying.
''I've never been this embarrassed in my life,'' LaBelle told the crowd Saturday at the Riviera Beach Jazz & Blues Festival. ``It's the worst show I've ever done in my life.''
As temperatures dipped into the low 50s, LaBelle explained that she's nearly 62, has diabetes and a heart murmur -- and the cold weather wasn't agreeing with her.
The R&B singer tried to belt out a few notes, then told fans huddled under blankets that she understood if they walked out on her.
LaBelle struggled through Lady Marmalade with assistance from a few in the crowd, sang some gospel songs and On My Own before retreating.
Low fifties, sick, heart problem, and going on at midnight? She has unrealistic expectations. I wouldn't have gone on and I'm twenty years younger. When you lose the awareness you're doing something you shouldn't be doing, it's time to hang it up.
March 29, 2006
March 28, 2006
Christian Convert Vanishes After Release
Now this is proof we're all insane! This is an international incident...a man in Afghanistan, a place so ass-backward that they want to kill a guy for converting to Christianity! This is a place where we're spending billions, and Americans have been killed, and for what? What's changed? Are the Taliban truly out? I say f--k no.
President Karzai is afraid of offending the sensibilities of these Muslim clerics who are calling for the murder of this guy? Muslim "students" are joining in? Is it the same school where the 42-year old 9-11 types come from? The same school that teaches Muslims that everybody should pity them because of how disaffected they supposedly are and their only recourse is to go kill people?
I just have to ask what the fuck are we doing over there if this sort of shit is happening in March 2006?
President Karzai is afraid of offending the sensibilities of these Muslim clerics who are calling for the murder of this guy? Muslim "students" are joining in? Is it the same school where the 42-year old 9-11 types come from? The same school that teaches Muslims that everybody should pity them because of how disaffected they supposedly are and their only recourse is to go kill people?
I just have to ask what the fuck are we doing over there if this sort of shit is happening in March 2006?
Thoughts of the day.
Douglas MacArthur named commander of all forces in Korea, July 8, 1950. Exactly 14 years before I was born on that day.
July 8 1776 was the first time the Declaration of Independence was read in public. 230 years before I was born on that day.
In the irony of ironies, there is a Kevin Bacon blog or two early in this thing. July 8, 1958, Kevin Bacon was born...six years before I was born on that day. I only have one degree of Kevin Bacon.
With the release of this Abdel Rahman character, the country of Afghanistan is saying Christians are mentally unfit to be Muslims. This is a country that wants to kill a guy for not wanting to be a Muslim. Sounds a bit "salmon Rushdie-ish" to me. Yep, he believes in something different than other people...so let's kill him before it spreads. Allah wants you to be a mindless drone who blindly follows his edicts as dictated to you by an out-of-touch, narrow-minded, near-sighted, non-traveled, bigoted, hate-mongering elder called an Imam, who can dictate the Muslim holy book as he sees fit, and to his own ends. Yep, drones kill, drones bomb, drones fly airplanes into buildings. Come on, we want more drones...
Sean Hannity ripped Alec Baldwin a new one on the Scottie Whitman radio show.
Why does the name "Jack Abramoff" sound so much like a verb?
Lyndon Johnson preferred calling his wife "Lady Bird" because it gave her the initials LBJ. Her name was Claudia. I like Claudia better. I found out recently two interesting facts about him which make me think he was a kooky cat, and probably would have been interesting to talk to: First, he liked to take his friends and visitors for rides on the country roads near his ranch and drink scotch while doing 90 mph. The second is he used to take important people into the bathroom to discuss important things, which he thought put psychological pressure on the person to whom he was speaking. He did that in combination with looming over them, since he was 6'4".
Animals can walk and poo at the same time, but people can't. I bet you always wanted to know that!
Graceland went on the registry of National Historic Landmarks. In fact, it's the second most popular home museum in the country, following the White House, with Mount Vernon, Monticello, and Ernest Hemingway's house trailing way behind. In an interview, Lisa Marie said Elvis loved Graceland and she was so proud of him. She also spoke of how people the world over loved her father. Yep...so that's the reason why he died alone, overweight, from a drug overdose while on the toilet, and when he hit the floor no one was around to hear it. Uh-huh, great way for the "King of Rock and Roll" to go. What did the EPC (Elvis Presley corporation make last year? $60 million? I would have said the same thing...
If animals can sense evil, how can Hillary Clinton have a cat?
July 8 1776 was the first time the Declaration of Independence was read in public. 230 years before I was born on that day.
In the irony of ironies, there is a Kevin Bacon blog or two early in this thing. July 8, 1958, Kevin Bacon was born...six years before I was born on that day. I only have one degree of Kevin Bacon.
With the release of this Abdel Rahman character, the country of Afghanistan is saying Christians are mentally unfit to be Muslims. This is a country that wants to kill a guy for not wanting to be a Muslim. Sounds a bit "salmon Rushdie-ish" to me. Yep, he believes in something different than other people...so let's kill him before it spreads. Allah wants you to be a mindless drone who blindly follows his edicts as dictated to you by an out-of-touch, narrow-minded, near-sighted, non-traveled, bigoted, hate-mongering elder called an Imam, who can dictate the Muslim holy book as he sees fit, and to his own ends. Yep, drones kill, drones bomb, drones fly airplanes into buildings. Come on, we want more drones...
Sean Hannity ripped Alec Baldwin a new one on the Scottie Whitman radio show.
Why does the name "Jack Abramoff" sound so much like a verb?
Lyndon Johnson preferred calling his wife "Lady Bird" because it gave her the initials LBJ. Her name was Claudia. I like Claudia better. I found out recently two interesting facts about him which make me think he was a kooky cat, and probably would have been interesting to talk to: First, he liked to take his friends and visitors for rides on the country roads near his ranch and drink scotch while doing 90 mph. The second is he used to take important people into the bathroom to discuss important things, which he thought put psychological pressure on the person to whom he was speaking. He did that in combination with looming over them, since he was 6'4".
Animals can walk and poo at the same time, but people can't. I bet you always wanted to know that!
Graceland went on the registry of National Historic Landmarks. In fact, it's the second most popular home museum in the country, following the White House, with Mount Vernon, Monticello, and Ernest Hemingway's house trailing way behind. In an interview, Lisa Marie said Elvis loved Graceland and she was so proud of him. She also spoke of how people the world over loved her father. Yep...so that's the reason why he died alone, overweight, from a drug overdose while on the toilet, and when he hit the floor no one was around to hear it. Uh-huh, great way for the "King of Rock and Roll" to go. What did the EPC (Elvis Presley corporation make last year? $60 million? I would have said the same thing...
If animals can sense evil, how can Hillary Clinton have a cat?
March 24, 2006
That's NORTH Jersey, Thank You
So New York and California have the worst air pollution eh? That's no friggin shock. Washington DC and Jersey, well there's no earth-shattering news there either...
But Oregon? What's going on in Oregon? I thought the place was full of tree-huggers and the lumberjacks that love to cut them down? By "them" I mean the trees or the tree-huggers it really makes no difference.
One thing people should know, however, is the pollution that gives the Garden State its bad rap comes from two places. 1. From the area around New York City in North Jersey, such as Newark, Hoboken, Jersey City, Elizabeth, Bayonne, etc., and 2. from the area right near the Deleware Memorial Bridge that connects Southwestern Jersey to Delaware.
South Jersey is (believe it or not) predominantly state forest, farmland, and seashore barrier islands. To be on the beach here is to see the cleanest air anywhere. Actually, you can't see the air, which proves it's clean!
Like Springsteen said, " cause down the shore everything' s all right."
Keep that Jersey slander to yourself...
But Oregon? What's going on in Oregon? I thought the place was full of tree-huggers and the lumberjacks that love to cut them down? By "them" I mean the trees or the tree-huggers it really makes no difference.
One thing people should know, however, is the pollution that gives the Garden State its bad rap comes from two places. 1. From the area around New York City in North Jersey, such as Newark, Hoboken, Jersey City, Elizabeth, Bayonne, etc., and 2. from the area right near the Deleware Memorial Bridge that connects Southwestern Jersey to Delaware.
South Jersey is (believe it or not) predominantly state forest, farmland, and seashore barrier islands. To be on the beach here is to see the cleanest air anywhere. Actually, you can't see the air, which proves it's clean!
Like Springsteen said, " cause down the shore everything' s all right."
Keep that Jersey slander to yourself...
The best place to pick up easy, irresponsible chicks!
An abortion rally during the middle of the week has to be the easiest place to pick up a sleazy broad! After all, they skipped-out on work to go rally for the right to have doctors rip out a fetus if their irresponsible sexual activities end up getting them pregnant.
What other conclusion is there? I mean another that makes sense...not the "women want the right to blah blah blah stupidity about planning their lives, etc. Do they want the truth? Here it is: If you think you're old enough to have sex, then you're old enough to have a kid. Maybe these sluts should keep their pants on...
What other conclusion is there? I mean another that makes sense...not the "women want the right to blah blah blah stupidity about planning their lives, etc. Do they want the truth? Here it is: If you think you're old enough to have sex, then you're old enough to have a kid. Maybe these sluts should keep their pants on...
March 23, 2006
Alternate Universe Discovered Off Coast of Aruba!
While in the process of photographing every inch of the earth looking for Osama bin Laden, Jimmy Hoffa, the lost Nixon tapes and Amelia Earheart's car keys, NASA engineers recently discovered an alternate universe which they say actually surrounds the island of Aruba.
Apparently, upon entering this alternate universe, all 17-year old sexually active teenagers become virgins and are instantly transported forward four years, thus making them of legal drinking age.
Scientists examining this phenomenon also noted what they call a "leaking effect," where the parents of these teenagers are magically led to believe this universe and its effects are real, instead of the reality they let their 17 year-old daughters free, or actually sent them to drink, gamble, have sex, and ultimately get killed.
Apparently, upon entering this alternate universe, all 17-year old sexually active teenagers become virgins and are instantly transported forward four years, thus making them of legal drinking age.
Scientists examining this phenomenon also noted what they call a "leaking effect," where the parents of these teenagers are magically led to believe this universe and its effects are real, instead of the reality they let their 17 year-old daughters free, or actually sent them to drink, gamble, have sex, and ultimately get killed.
March 22, 2006
One more thing about the fountain...
Here's what I think it would be a fitting tribute to Diana:
A big statue of her in a bikini standing next to Dodi Fayed as Dodi urinates on a smaller statue of Prince Charles, who is riding Camilla.
Maybe a statue of her as the little Coppertone kid with her butt showing...and Charles kissing it...again, as Dodi Fayed pees on him.
What about Diana in body armor pushing Charles onto a land-mine that sends him flying over a model of Buckingham Palace where the government has come and is reposessing all his stuff!
Hey! He may be a prince, but he's no day at the beach...if you know what I mean.
Maybe it can be one where Diana bitch-slaps the Queen, who turns and slaps Charles, who turns to slap Camilla but gets one from her instead. Then Charles turns to his son William, who slaps him, and then to Harry, who slaps him also, then to Winston Churchill and Tony Blair, each who give the prince his just comeuppance. Charles then turns back to the queen, whom he slaps. The Queen then turns back to Diana and gets a palm-pasting from her, starting the whole thing again. All the while, a likeness of Richard Branson slaps Camilla at will. I know they have nothing to do with each other, but I like Richard Branson and Camilla needs additional pasting so I figured what the hell. There's another version where everybody gets kicked in the crotch, but you get the picture.
Meanwhile, a nearby statue of Pierce Brosnan gets a slapping from Colin Farrell due to Brosnan's being such a little bitch about the latest James Bond movie and Colin...well, he just seems to be everywhere.
Next to that is one of Hugh Grant getting kicked in the "James" by Elizabeth Hurley with a gusto that would bring a tear to Rochambeau's eye, while a recording shouts "what are you, stupid?" in her voice every time her knee finds its target.
Next to that one is the fantasy statue of the members of Coldplay getting their butts kicked by the all-girl members of L7 and Team Dresch!
Next to that is a statue of a football (soccer to us Yanks), an actual frisbee, and a little girl selling Jello. Why? Because the Brits love their football, there's never a bad time for frisbee and there's always room for Jello...
A big statue of her in a bikini standing next to Dodi Fayed as Dodi urinates on a smaller statue of Prince Charles, who is riding Camilla.
Maybe a statue of her as the little Coppertone kid with her butt showing...and Charles kissing it...again, as Dodi Fayed pees on him.
What about Diana in body armor pushing Charles onto a land-mine that sends him flying over a model of Buckingham Palace where the government has come and is reposessing all his stuff!
Hey! He may be a prince, but he's no day at the beach...if you know what I mean.
Maybe it can be one where Diana bitch-slaps the Queen, who turns and slaps Charles, who turns to slap Camilla but gets one from her instead. Then Charles turns to his son William, who slaps him, and then to Harry, who slaps him also, then to Winston Churchill and Tony Blair, each who give the prince his just comeuppance. Charles then turns back to the queen, whom he slaps. The Queen then turns back to Diana and gets a palm-pasting from her, starting the whole thing again. All the while, a likeness of Richard Branson slaps Camilla at will. I know they have nothing to do with each other, but I like Richard Branson and Camilla needs additional pasting so I figured what the hell. There's another version where everybody gets kicked in the crotch, but you get the picture.
Meanwhile, a nearby statue of Pierce Brosnan gets a slapping from Colin Farrell due to Brosnan's being such a little bitch about the latest James Bond movie and Colin...well, he just seems to be everywhere.
Next to that is one of Hugh Grant getting kicked in the "James" by Elizabeth Hurley with a gusto that would bring a tear to Rochambeau's eye, while a recording shouts "what are you, stupid?" in her voice every time her knee finds its target.
Next to that one is the fantasy statue of the members of Coldplay getting their butts kicked by the all-girl members of L7 and Team Dresch!
Next to that is a statue of a football (soccer to us Yanks), an actual frisbee, and a little girl selling Jello. Why? Because the Brits love their football, there's never a bad time for frisbee and there's always room for Jello...
England has obviously gone insane!
A "problem-plagued" memorial fountain that costs $3.5 million more than it should? I know people really loved Princess Diana, but are you all freaking nuts or what?
$9 million dollars for a memorial fountain for a dead princess, and 520K on the opening ceremony! Wow! She was apparently important enough for old Queenie to drop that kind of dough, but not so important as to be treated well while she was alive! Her husband is obviously inbred and deranged. Proof? Well, no one really needs anything more than whom he chose over Diana! Eek! The memorial is all part of the collective guilt of the "Royals" and their attempt to look magnanimous instead of disingenuous. Not!
The odd thing is how people reacted. Some say the memorial is fitting, while others say it isn't quite enough! I think they all need their heads examined. Charles should count his lucky stars too. Just look at his two sons...handsome, intelligent, with great potential. He obviously saw Diana as nothing more than breeding stock, and it's a good thing he didn't see Camilla that way! Can you imagine that? How gooney-looking would those unfortunates be? Long faces, squinty-eyes, teeth so crooked they could eat corn-on-the-cob through a chain-link fence, with personalities so dry they would make even British comedy look like slap-stick. I can picture a kid with a face like Alfred E. Neuman playing bridge and drinking tea (at 11 years-old) and using expressions like "how droll" and "by-the-bye." He would need at least three bodyguards so he wouldn't get his ass kicked at least once a day!
Do you think Diana would have preferred the 9 million go to land-mine removal or saving little kids in Africa, or to some huge stone testament to the worthlessness and obsolescence of the royal system in England? The fact that the same people who ignored and mistreated her while she was alive still have their priorities all screwed-up isn't lost on me. No wonder they didn't like her...she was the only sane one of the bunch.
$9 million dollars for a memorial fountain for a dead princess, and 520K on the opening ceremony! Wow! She was apparently important enough for old Queenie to drop that kind of dough, but not so important as to be treated well while she was alive! Her husband is obviously inbred and deranged. Proof? Well, no one really needs anything more than whom he chose over Diana! Eek! The memorial is all part of the collective guilt of the "Royals" and their attempt to look magnanimous instead of disingenuous. Not!
The odd thing is how people reacted. Some say the memorial is fitting, while others say it isn't quite enough! I think they all need their heads examined. Charles should count his lucky stars too. Just look at his two sons...handsome, intelligent, with great potential. He obviously saw Diana as nothing more than breeding stock, and it's a good thing he didn't see Camilla that way! Can you imagine that? How gooney-looking would those unfortunates be? Long faces, squinty-eyes, teeth so crooked they could eat corn-on-the-cob through a chain-link fence, with personalities so dry they would make even British comedy look like slap-stick. I can picture a kid with a face like Alfred E. Neuman playing bridge and drinking tea (at 11 years-old) and using expressions like "how droll" and "by-the-bye." He would need at least three bodyguards so he wouldn't get his ass kicked at least once a day!
Do you think Diana would have preferred the 9 million go to land-mine removal or saving little kids in Africa, or to some huge stone testament to the worthlessness and obsolescence of the royal system in England? The fact that the same people who ignored and mistreated her while she was alive still have their priorities all screwed-up isn't lost on me. No wonder they didn't like her...she was the only sane one of the bunch.
March 18, 2006
Man Severs Own Penis, Throw it at Officers
Catch! Watch my change-up! Whoop!
Question: If you cut off your nose to spite your face, what does cutting off the "one-eyed monster" do? Answer: It proves you're a freakin psychopath! Nutcase. Whack job. Looney Tune. Knucklehead. "It's a bit drastic" is definitely an understatement.
Now this makes men squirm just thinking about it. What's up with that? Well, not his Johnson, I guess. So what gives? Was it being impudent? Talking back to him? Being uncooperative? Nagging him to use it on an actual girl once in a while? Did it have a hair-trigger problem that he found embarassing? Or did he finally realize it was his one true friend?
So he cut it off because of problems with his girlfriend in...Poland... That was probably after he broke up with his girl from Canada, and the one before that from Denmark...and all the other imaginary girlfriend's he's had. He probably turned queer, regrets it, and has to "exercise the demon."
Cops have glamorous jobs too, don't they? Nothing like having to fight a crazy naked guy who has a bunch of knives, is bleeding like hell and just cut off his own wanker.
So they sew it back on? Is it straight? It better be or he's the proud owner of a boomerang with the ability to pee around a corner.
Of course, if you just cut off Captain Winky, you're koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs...
Question: If you cut off your nose to spite your face, what does cutting off the "one-eyed monster" do? Answer: It proves you're a freakin psychopath! Nutcase. Whack job. Looney Tune. Knucklehead. "It's a bit drastic" is definitely an understatement.
Now this makes men squirm just thinking about it. What's up with that? Well, not his Johnson, I guess. So what gives? Was it being impudent? Talking back to him? Being uncooperative? Nagging him to use it on an actual girl once in a while? Did it have a hair-trigger problem that he found embarassing? Or did he finally realize it was his one true friend?
So he cut it off because of problems with his girlfriend in...Poland... That was probably after he broke up with his girl from Canada, and the one before that from Denmark...and all the other imaginary girlfriend's he's had. He probably turned queer, regrets it, and has to "exercise the demon."
Cops have glamorous jobs too, don't they? Nothing like having to fight a crazy naked guy who has a bunch of knives, is bleeding like hell and just cut off his own wanker.
So they sew it back on? Is it straight? It better be or he's the proud owner of a boomerang with the ability to pee around a corner.
Of course, if you just cut off Captain Winky, you're koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs...
Sometimes I love the news...
I don't love the news for the politically biased news articles, but rather, for the way the headlines seem so ridiculous. In a news media attempt to be either political or provocative, sometimes they just end-up sounding silly. For instance:
Bombs, bullets greet Shiites on pilgrimage - After all, nothing says "welcome" like an ambush.
New abortion law may affect S.D. tourism - I never knew abortion was such a tourist attraction!
Many in Belarus love their autocratic leader - ...and if they say different...they get shot.
Aussie strippers win meal break, OT rights - now there's the best indicator of the development of a society...when they finally feed the strippers and pay them overtime! What's next? They get to vote? Good thing they have a union! They also get maternity leave, which I think is bad because you know how much everybody wants to see a pregnant woman hump a brass pole.
'South Park' battle over Scientology heats up - It's funny when a celebrity religious group feels threatened by a cartoon.
'Dukes of Hazzard' actor Tom Wopat charged - A guy stars in a TV show 20 years ago and that is what he's most famous for? That's sad. I try to forget stuff I did 20 years ago.
Bush adviser says Iran bluffing on Iraq - And we all know how right the Bush advisors have been!
Two more deaths added to record-high Bike Week toll (Miami Herald) What? Come on, there's nothing safer than bar-hopping on a motorcycle, especially with a passenger!
Argument over relationship ends with shooting at mall - Now who brings a gun to the mall? I mean really? Is it used to get lower prices? "Now how much is that lava lamp?" Is it to help you shop? "I wanna go to the record store. No, I wantto Victoria'storia's Secret (Boom!). Okay, we'll go to the record store!" "Quit looking at that guy (Boom)." "Do these pants make my ass look fat? I didn't think so."
Safety stand down held at Kennedy Space Center after mishaps - Again? What the hell is wrong with these people? Don't have a politically correct "safety stand down...make some heads roll! Kick some ass! For crying out loud, demand safety and do your risk management! Who's in charge over there? Get him on the phone!
Jerry Lewis gets French medal - Is it a medal with Pepe' Le'Pew's face on it? Maybe a miniature Eiffel tower with the German and Iraqi flags on top? Le' Bozo badge? I know...it has a picture of Chirac surrendering to a schoolgirl while he's standing on a French immigrant, right?
Striking workers at UM to get raise - At one of the best learning institutions in the state, they couldn't negotiate? There's a law school right there! Lawyers showing their value yet again. In typical fashion, union workers make the company lose money by striking in order to get more money...a vicious circle unions will never understand. Giving in to them just makes it worse. Florida is a right to work state, so busting the union is no issue.
Fashion Designer Oleg Cassini Dies at 92 - From the truly meaningless file, this is some old fag that's famous for making dresses for Jackie O...the woman who was married to JFK, then married a Greek tycoon reportedly so her kids would grow up wealthy, then when she died was buried next to the president. Hmm. What do they call a woman who has a relationship with someone for money?
Bombs, bullets greet Shiites on pilgrimage - After all, nothing says "welcome" like an ambush.
New abortion law may affect S.D. tourism - I never knew abortion was such a tourist attraction!
Many in Belarus love their autocratic leader - ...and if they say different...they get shot.
Aussie strippers win meal break, OT rights - now there's the best indicator of the development of a society...when they finally feed the strippers and pay them overtime! What's next? They get to vote? Good thing they have a union! They also get maternity leave, which I think is bad because you know how much everybody wants to see a pregnant woman hump a brass pole.
'South Park' battle over Scientology heats up - It's funny when a celebrity religious group feels threatened by a cartoon.
'Dukes of Hazzard' actor Tom Wopat charged - A guy stars in a TV show 20 years ago and that is what he's most famous for? That's sad. I try to forget stuff I did 20 years ago.
Bush adviser says Iran bluffing on Iraq - And we all know how right the Bush advisors have been!
Two more deaths added to record-high Bike Week toll (Miami Herald) What? Come on, there's nothing safer than bar-hopping on a motorcycle, especially with a passenger!
Argument over relationship ends with shooting at mall - Now who brings a gun to the mall? I mean really? Is it used to get lower prices? "Now how much is that lava lamp?" Is it to help you shop? "I wanna go to the record store. No, I wantto Victoria'storia's Secret (Boom!). Okay, we'll go to the record store!" "Quit looking at that guy (Boom)." "Do these pants make my ass look fat? I didn't think so."
Safety stand down held at Kennedy Space Center after mishaps - Again? What the hell is wrong with these people? Don't have a politically correct "safety stand down...make some heads roll! Kick some ass! For crying out loud, demand safety and do your risk management! Who's in charge over there? Get him on the phone!
Jerry Lewis gets French medal - Is it a medal with Pepe' Le'Pew's face on it? Maybe a miniature Eiffel tower with the German and Iraqi flags on top? Le' Bozo badge? I know...it has a picture of Chirac surrendering to a schoolgirl while he's standing on a French immigrant, right?
Striking workers at UM to get raise - At one of the best learning institutions in the state, they couldn't negotiate? There's a law school right there! Lawyers showing their value yet again. In typical fashion, union workers make the company lose money by striking in order to get more money...a vicious circle unions will never understand. Giving in to them just makes it worse. Florida is a right to work state, so busting the union is no issue.
Fashion Designer Oleg Cassini Dies at 92 - From the truly meaningless file, this is some old fag that's famous for making dresses for Jackie O...the woman who was married to JFK, then married a Greek tycoon reportedly so her kids would grow up wealthy, then when she died was buried next to the president. Hmm. What do they call a woman who has a relationship with someone for money?
March 17, 2006
St. Patrick's Day...apparently the day to get yourself an Asian chick...
Leprechauns like them too...but isn't he supposed to wear green?
Gay Pol to Skip St. Patrick's Day Parade
Go ahead and skip it little Miss Carpet-muncher! This is the kind of stuff that makes gays look stupid as they try to push their agenda. A Gay and Lesbian Irish group? How F'ing stupid is that. Look out! Here come the Gay Indians, the Lesbian Eskimos, the Androgynous Asian Pacific Islanders, the Black he-she Association, the Transsexual Dwarves, and the Cross-dressing Canadian Club!
Do gays and lesbians have hearing problems or cognitive difficulties? Are they mentally-challenged? Why do I ask? The reason is obvious!
You weren't invited to the parade! Hello! It's kind of hard to boycott the parade and say you aren't going to go when you aren't invited and no one wants you there! This broad's probably a snotty pain-in-the-ass. "Well, I'm not going." Good, you're not invited. "Well, I'm not going" and on and on...
Oh, look at me! I'm so cool and trendy! Who needs the parade...I'll just go get some dinner and maybe go to church like a good little homosexual...
Do you think any of the people in the parade will be carrying any signs or banners celebrating their heterosexuality? I don't think so. Why? Because nobody wants to hear that shit...from any of them. No gay Irish or cleft-palate Italians. No cross-eyed Asians or transgender Germans or any of that stuff.
Do gays and lesbians have hearing problems or cognitive difficulties? Are they mentally-challenged? Why do I ask? The reason is obvious!
You weren't invited to the parade! Hello! It's kind of hard to boycott the parade and say you aren't going to go when you aren't invited and no one wants you there! This broad's probably a snotty pain-in-the-ass. "Well, I'm not going." Good, you're not invited. "Well, I'm not going" and on and on...
Oh, look at me! I'm so cool and trendy! Who needs the parade...I'll just go get some dinner and maybe go to church like a good little homosexual...
Do you think any of the people in the parade will be carrying any signs or banners celebrating their heterosexuality? I don't think so. Why? Because nobody wants to hear that shit...from any of them. No gay Irish or cleft-palate Italians. No cross-eyed Asians or transgender Germans or any of that stuff.
March 16, 2006
Underground Railroad Museum $5.5M in Red
I have to stop laughing long enough to type this... Political correctness comes back to haunt Cincinnati!!!
This thing has to be little more than a giant static display. I can't see too many moving parts required. Does it really need a $10 million /year budget? I'm laughing again!
Come on, having people re-enact operations of the "underground railroad" is just cruel, not to mention an EO complaint because you don't let any American Indian (Native American) or Alaska Natives (a.k.a. Eskimos) play the parts of slaves escaping the South! Racist bastards!
So 15 people already had to go? What do they think this is...The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I can't picture a very cheerful atmosphere, any rides, IMAX theater, or aquarium. Here's a hint; civil war reenactor-nerds do that stuff for free...just like people who go to Star Trek conventions or dress-up like characters from Star Wars.
A $110 million dollar Freedom Center. Wow! I can think of a bunch of things you could have spent your money on. You have to love PC politicians spending other people's money, then going back to the well after they realize how big of a failure they created. I wouldn't pay for it.
A $110,000,000 dollar Freedom Center in Cincinnati Ohio? Cincinnati...the city right near the Kentucky border? It's still in Ohio, isn't it? Ohio is still between Pennsylvania and Illinois, right? The people being known as among the most boring and plain in the entire country? The 86% caucasian (not of Hispanic origin) state? (Jersey is 66%). Jeepers Creepers!
Actually, I'm just kidding. Harriet Beecher Stowe lived in Cincinnati, and Ohio actually had the most developed and active underground railroad network of any state. It's very interesting and very historic. I just think the museum is a bit over-the-top. Check out the website:
http://www.ohiodnr.com/parks/explore/magazine/sprsum96/UNDERGRR.htm
This thing has to be little more than a giant static display. I can't see too many moving parts required. Does it really need a $10 million /year budget? I'm laughing again!
Come on, having people re-enact operations of the "underground railroad" is just cruel, not to mention an EO complaint because you don't let any American Indian (Native American) or Alaska Natives (a.k.a. Eskimos) play the parts of slaves escaping the South! Racist bastards!
So 15 people already had to go? What do they think this is...The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I can't picture a very cheerful atmosphere, any rides, IMAX theater, or aquarium. Here's a hint; civil war reenactor-nerds do that stuff for free...just like people who go to Star Trek conventions or dress-up like characters from Star Wars.
A $110 million dollar Freedom Center. Wow! I can think of a bunch of things you could have spent your money on. You have to love PC politicians spending other people's money, then going back to the well after they realize how big of a failure they created. I wouldn't pay for it.
A $110,000,000 dollar Freedom Center in Cincinnati Ohio? Cincinnati...the city right near the Kentucky border? It's still in Ohio, isn't it? Ohio is still between Pennsylvania and Illinois, right? The people being known as among the most boring and plain in the entire country? The 86% caucasian (not of Hispanic origin) state? (Jersey is 66%). Jeepers Creepers!
Actually, I'm just kidding. Harriet Beecher Stowe lived in Cincinnati, and Ohio actually had the most developed and active underground railroad network of any state. It's very interesting and very historic. I just think the museum is a bit over-the-top. Check out the website:
http://www.ohiodnr.com/parks/explore/magazine/sprsum96/UNDERGRR.htm
Most Americans not Fit to Join
Some readers of the attached article may think it indicated a problem with the military. I would be so bold as to say this does no such thing.
A few months ago, a 2-star general came over to the desert to talk about the state of a couple branches of the army, and the army in general. He said something that stuck with me:
-The Army doesn't have a recruiting problem...America has a service problem.
I couldn't agree more. In our greedy, ego-centric, shameless, selfish country, I couldn't agree more...
A few months ago, a 2-star general came over to the desert to talk about the state of a couple branches of the army, and the army in general. He said something that stuck with me:
-The Army doesn't have a recruiting problem...America has a service problem.
I couldn't agree more. In our greedy, ego-centric, shameless, selfish country, I couldn't agree more...
Politicians should stay away from foreign policy
I thought about this earlier this morning when I saw a news article about the House of Representatives introducing a bill that would punish Iran. Well just hold the flappety-flappin phone a minute...
These are the same representatives who:
-let focus groups and lobbyists tell them how to think
-vote along poll numbers instead of with their conscience
-let special interests rule their terms of service
-allow political correctness to focus their efforts on the truly meaningless
-can't get along with each other
-believe bashing the president is a course of action for our country
-join subcommittees for the apparent prestige without knowing what the hell they're doing
-spend billions (with a b) of taxpayer dollars on pet projects, kickbacks, and political rewards
People full of this kind of bullshit and with this kind of bureaucratic narrow-mindedness should stick to domestic affairs where they can line their own pockets and not get our whole country in trouble.
For example, Congressman Kendrick Meek of Florida. His biggest claim to fame is being on the House Armed Services committee, where earlier this week, he told Secretary Rumsfeld there weren't enough minority generals in the military. That's pretty f-ing thin, but par for the course for Meek. Pretty boy...
How long were you in the military there, Congressman? Never? Oh...I see. Well, how about a nice hot cup of shut the f--k up! Minorities don't join the combat arms, they join the support units. Most of the generals come out of the combat arms, so unless you can convince more minorities to be grunts, then zip it, okay pal... I'm sick and tired of the whole EO speech. There are no roadblocks to minorities in the military or the service academies, so knock it off. Where did you go? A predominantly black school? Whoa! What about getting ahead based on merit there, Mama's boy? Yep, he got elected because his mother was the congresswoman in his district before him. How else do you go from Highway patrol to US House of Representatives so quickly?
What he should be asking is are there too many generals to begin with? How did we go from an 850,000 soldier force (pre-1994), to a 420,000 soldier force and not eliminate one single general officer position? Not one.
What about congressmen and women with agendas that aren't beneficial to society as a whole. Why would a congresswoman from California be so involved with Haiti? It was a black thing. Why is another so involved in Cuba to the detriment of other aspects of her service? Because she's Cuban. Should they be allowed to influence foreign policy? Definitely not.
Why would others let corporations tell them what to do unless there was something in it for them? What about the thousands, or possibly millions of people affected by a corporation wreaking havoc and raining death and destruction on them? Example? The most heavily subsidized industry in America is the sugar industry in Florida...the same industry that is destroying or has destroyed Lake Okeechobee and the Everglades. "Big" Sugar. The pollution from lake water released to both coasts devastates huge areas, kills millions of marine creatures, birds, reptiles, and both land and marine mammals, hurts other industries, and affects millions of people. The artificially high level of the lake has killed lake species, some specific only to that lake. Fertilizers have poisoned ground water and run-off causes algae blooms and devastation to both fresh and salt-water environments. The Everglades was called the "river of grass" until they dammed the lake in order to irrigate sugar lands. So why is it every time a sugar industry executive sneezes there's a politician there to wipe his nose?
Can you trust people who can't fix things at home to handle foreign policy?
Why do some of these people not have websites? Why do some of these people have no way to contact them except by phone to their office where some flunkie takes a message or you hear a recording to request information rather than get in touch? Why do none of the email links to them work (I spent time and tried a bunch.)
Politicians today just don't have the skills to do foreign policy, and they rely on bad advice, racial bias, ethnic bias, lobbyists, prejudices, personal agendas, and a bunch of other things they shouldn't. They should leave it to people who can do it right, and don't speak for corporations, special interest, or political parties, but truly have the best interests of our people at heart.
I know... I have as much chance of seeing that as I do peeing in the ocean and raising the tide...
These are the same representatives who:
-let focus groups and lobbyists tell them how to think
-vote along poll numbers instead of with their conscience
-let special interests rule their terms of service
-allow political correctness to focus their efforts on the truly meaningless
-can't get along with each other
-believe bashing the president is a course of action for our country
-join subcommittees for the apparent prestige without knowing what the hell they're doing
-spend billions (with a b) of taxpayer dollars on pet projects, kickbacks, and political rewards
People full of this kind of bullshit and with this kind of bureaucratic narrow-mindedness should stick to domestic affairs where they can line their own pockets and not get our whole country in trouble.
For example, Congressman Kendrick Meek of Florida. His biggest claim to fame is being on the House Armed Services committee, where earlier this week, he told Secretary Rumsfeld there weren't enough minority generals in the military. That's pretty f-ing thin, but par for the course for Meek. Pretty boy...
How long were you in the military there, Congressman? Never? Oh...I see. Well, how about a nice hot cup of shut the f--k up! Minorities don't join the combat arms, they join the support units. Most of the generals come out of the combat arms, so unless you can convince more minorities to be grunts, then zip it, okay pal... I'm sick and tired of the whole EO speech. There are no roadblocks to minorities in the military or the service academies, so knock it off. Where did you go? A predominantly black school? Whoa! What about getting ahead based on merit there, Mama's boy? Yep, he got elected because his mother was the congresswoman in his district before him. How else do you go from Highway patrol to US House of Representatives so quickly?
What he should be asking is are there too many generals to begin with? How did we go from an 850,000 soldier force (pre-1994), to a 420,000 soldier force and not eliminate one single general officer position? Not one.
What about congressmen and women with agendas that aren't beneficial to society as a whole. Why would a congresswoman from California be so involved with Haiti? It was a black thing. Why is another so involved in Cuba to the detriment of other aspects of her service? Because she's Cuban. Should they be allowed to influence foreign policy? Definitely not.
Why would others let corporations tell them what to do unless there was something in it for them? What about the thousands, or possibly millions of people affected by a corporation wreaking havoc and raining death and destruction on them? Example? The most heavily subsidized industry in America is the sugar industry in Florida...the same industry that is destroying or has destroyed Lake Okeechobee and the Everglades. "Big" Sugar. The pollution from lake water released to both coasts devastates huge areas, kills millions of marine creatures, birds, reptiles, and both land and marine mammals, hurts other industries, and affects millions of people. The artificially high level of the lake has killed lake species, some specific only to that lake. Fertilizers have poisoned ground water and run-off causes algae blooms and devastation to both fresh and salt-water environments. The Everglades was called the "river of grass" until they dammed the lake in order to irrigate sugar lands. So why is it every time a sugar industry executive sneezes there's a politician there to wipe his nose?
Can you trust people who can't fix things at home to handle foreign policy?
Why do some of these people not have websites? Why do some of these people have no way to contact them except by phone to their office where some flunkie takes a message or you hear a recording to request information rather than get in touch? Why do none of the email links to them work (I spent time and tried a bunch.)
Politicians today just don't have the skills to do foreign policy, and they rely on bad advice, racial bias, ethnic bias, lobbyists, prejudices, personal agendas, and a bunch of other things they shouldn't. They should leave it to people who can do it right, and don't speak for corporations, special interest, or political parties, but truly have the best interests of our people at heart.
I know... I have as much chance of seeing that as I do peeing in the ocean and raising the tide...
Chinese President Issues List of Virtues
...so the number-one Commie over there created a list of virtues, did he? I have a couple more for the list:
-Honor thy eight-year old girl working 16-hour days making pants for the ignorant Americans...the best way to win a war is without firing a shot...we can pay her less and maximize our profits...one day owning the United States because they can't control themselves.
-Artificially deflate your money in order to make other money more valuable, thus creating a larger profit margin. Don't worry about being called an underhanded cheat...it's just business in the communist world.
Apparently, one of the virtues says "Be honest and trustworthy, not profit-mongering at the expense of your values." ...Are you shitting me?
-Honor thy eight-year old girl working 16-hour days making pants for the ignorant Americans...the best way to win a war is without firing a shot...we can pay her less and maximize our profits...one day owning the United States because they can't control themselves.
-Artificially deflate your money in order to make other money more valuable, thus creating a larger profit margin. Don't worry about being called an underhanded cheat...it's just business in the communist world.
Apparently, one of the virtues says "Be honest and trustworthy, not profit-mongering at the expense of your values." ...Are you shitting me?
March 13, 2006
I knew it! I knew it!
PARALLEL UNIVERSE DISCOVERED . . . Where Bill Clinton Is A Celibate Priest!
With his powers, I knew he was a space alien!
With his powers, I knew he was a space alien!
A couple thoughts...
When's the last time a liberal recommended a solution to an issue instead of just trying to make someone else look bad? They're like children who spill ice cream on the floor, then try to blame the other kids for their mistake while they have money handed to them and pull out their other pocket claiming they haven't gotten any money yet.
Why would a Jew buy a German car?
If China locks-up gays and forbids homosexuality, should gays shop at Wal-Mart? (Hint: 70% of everything in the store is made in China)
What could be worse than a lawyer who goes into politics?
The same people who want to impeach the president think it was okay for President Clinton to get a BJ in the White House, dip his cigar "where the sun don't shine," spooge on his college intern's dress, then lie about it to the entire country on national TV and try to use some lawyerly bullshit (the definition of "is") to get out of it. Then his wife just lets it go and she's the darling of these same democrats?
Wow. How does Bill do that?
If someone really needs an ass-whooping, you should be able to give them one. There should be guidelines you can go by and keep on something the size of a credit card so you can hand it to them beforehand. Family members don't need a card first.
Why don't people like station wagons but love mini-vans? If you put a sliding door on the side, would they like it then?
If you buy a foreign car that's built in this country, are you helping to keep someone employed and giving money to foreigners? If you buy an American car, are you paying a corporation and a labor union...and giving money to foreigners since most of them are made in Canada and Mexico?
Gordon Gekko is an ass. Greed is not good. Greed will lead to some country trying to take-over the United States within my lifetime.
Ignorance and Greed led to American jobs going overseas. Both sides wanted too much money.
Ignorance and Greed led us to the Iraq war. The oil companies hold all the top seats in government.
Ignorance and Greed will keep gas prices high. No way the government would ever let the oil companies have less-than "insane" profits.
Ignorance and Greed led us to the trade imbalance: Everybody has to buy everything they can, money or not. No one remembers to buy American-made, and some things you can't buy American-made, even things we invented.
Ignorance and Greed led to my divorce. She was worried about herself first, not her son, marriage, home, honor, or morality. Now she can live with the consequences.
Ignorance and Greed puts people in bankruptcy.
Ignorance and Greed started every war in history. It's the battle of the "haves versus the have-nots," and the greedy struggle for power and domination. People don't remember the movie "War Games," where the message of the movie was there is no winner in a nuclear war. The only point is not to have one. Maybe we should show it to the Iranians.
Ignorance and Greed keeps France on the side of the money every time.
Ignorance and Greed guarantees there will never be a cure for cancer, hair loss, aging, failing eyesight, liver disease, TB, or any other disease the drug companies profit from.
Do all people that are sniveling pukes and selfish jerks as kids stay that way the rest of their lives?
Why would a Jew buy a German car?
If China locks-up gays and forbids homosexuality, should gays shop at Wal-Mart? (Hint: 70% of everything in the store is made in China)
What could be worse than a lawyer who goes into politics?
The same people who want to impeach the president think it was okay for President Clinton to get a BJ in the White House, dip his cigar "where the sun don't shine," spooge on his college intern's dress, then lie about it to the entire country on national TV and try to use some lawyerly bullshit (the definition of "is") to get out of it. Then his wife just lets it go and she's the darling of these same democrats?
Wow. How does Bill do that?
If someone really needs an ass-whooping, you should be able to give them one. There should be guidelines you can go by and keep on something the size of a credit card so you can hand it to them beforehand. Family members don't need a card first.
Why don't people like station wagons but love mini-vans? If you put a sliding door on the side, would they like it then?
If you buy a foreign car that's built in this country, are you helping to keep someone employed and giving money to foreigners? If you buy an American car, are you paying a corporation and a labor union...and giving money to foreigners since most of them are made in Canada and Mexico?
Gordon Gekko is an ass. Greed is not good. Greed will lead to some country trying to take-over the United States within my lifetime.
Ignorance and Greed led to American jobs going overseas. Both sides wanted too much money.
Ignorance and Greed led us to the Iraq war. The oil companies hold all the top seats in government.
Ignorance and Greed will keep gas prices high. No way the government would ever let the oil companies have less-than "insane" profits.
Ignorance and Greed led us to the trade imbalance: Everybody has to buy everything they can, money or not. No one remembers to buy American-made, and some things you can't buy American-made, even things we invented.
Ignorance and Greed led to my divorce. She was worried about herself first, not her son, marriage, home, honor, or morality. Now she can live with the consequences.
Ignorance and Greed puts people in bankruptcy.
Ignorance and Greed started every war in history. It's the battle of the "haves versus the have-nots," and the greedy struggle for power and domination. People don't remember the movie "War Games," where the message of the movie was there is no winner in a nuclear war. The only point is not to have one. Maybe we should show it to the Iranians.
Ignorance and Greed keeps France on the side of the money every time.
Ignorance and Greed guarantees there will never be a cure for cancer, hair loss, aging, failing eyesight, liver disease, TB, or any other disease the drug companies profit from.
Why is my wife so smoking-hot?
Why do we value money and rich people with no moral value, character, or integrity more than a common person with these traits?Do all people that are sniveling pukes and selfish jerks as kids stay that way the rest of their lives?
Where did the first person come from that ate a crab, a bears gall bladder, a shark fin, a camel's hump, a gorilla paw, or an elephant's asshole? I'll give you a guess...it rhymes with China.
If stupid girls who think modeling has a redeeming social value and get paid to walk around in lingerie and ugly dresses all the time and profess to love it so much...why aren't any of them smiling?
Can a gay man dress a male model to represent all men, or just gay men?
Fashion weirdos think people watch "Fashion TV" for the designer clothes. Nope. They watch it for the girls in swimwear and lingerie who (every once in a while) don't look like they need a sandwich and 8-hours sleep. When they show the faggy-looking guys (really kids), that's when people take a potty break.
Is an insurance company breaking any laws when they fail to pay? Oh, I forget, they own the other part of the government not owned by the oil and drug companies...
Why is it when you sleep in so late that you have problems getting to sleep the next night, when you wake up the following morning, you're still tired?
Now I understand the philosophical difference between Sting saying "We are spirits in a material world" and Madonna saying "I am a material girl." What a worthless tramp.
March 12, 2006
Lying liberal whack-job alert!!!
Feingold Proposes Bush Censure Over Spying
Again the democrats are so clue-less they have nothing else they can do but bash the president. Thanks for making every country around the world know our government is a bunch of arrogant, elitist, back-stabbing, disloyal, uncooperative and incompetent buffoons who are so out of touch with real life they all need ass-kickings. Thanks again.
Yep, Bill Clinton can use the NSA to watch Americans and that shithead President Carter can give away our strategic defense capability in the Caribbean and let the Chinese government control the Panama canal, but let Mr Bush use the NSA and everybody suddenly has an issue.
Talk about some disingenuous partisan bullshit. (By the way, I know the Carter thing is off the point, but that just pisses me off).
Again the democrats are so clue-less they have nothing else they can do but bash the president. Thanks for making every country around the world know our government is a bunch of arrogant, elitist, back-stabbing, disloyal, uncooperative and incompetent buffoons who are so out of touch with real life they all need ass-kickings. Thanks again.
Yep, Bill Clinton can use the NSA to watch Americans and that shithead President Carter can give away our strategic defense capability in the Caribbean and let the Chinese government control the Panama canal, but let Mr Bush use the NSA and everybody suddenly has an issue.
Talk about some disingenuous partisan bullshit. (By the way, I know the Carter thing is off the point, but that just pisses me off).
Chicago Requires Driver's Ed for the Blind
The finest education system in the world!
They also require them to pass needlepoint in home economics, play dodgeball in gym class, play baseball, participate in cross country running as an extra curricular (for those new to the U.S., that means running long distances through the woods), be the bus monitors, take the welding test in metal shop and make a microscope rack in woodshop, string the lights at "non-specific non-denominational winter celebration" time, coach the shooting team, and judge all horse-jumping competitions.
The hearing-impaired (also known as the deaf) kids are required to pass music class, the physically challenged, handi-capable kids (if you call them the crippled kids, or the gimpy kids, or the "one with the bum leg," you get sued) have to join JROTC. The developmentally challenged (can't call them retards) are required to join the debate team, the cheerleading squad, and cut all the firewood for the homecoming bonfire. After all, there's nothing that says handi-capable better than giving a bunch of retards a mess of axes and chainsaws and saying "have at-it!"
Actually, in lawsuit-happy America, the school system is probably afraid to not include them in drivers ed. You never know, one of the blind kids may pull the "race card!"
They also require them to pass needlepoint in home economics, play dodgeball in gym class, play baseball, participate in cross country running as an extra curricular (for those new to the U.S., that means running long distances through the woods), be the bus monitors, take the welding test in metal shop and make a microscope rack in woodshop, string the lights at "non-specific non-denominational winter celebration" time, coach the shooting team, and judge all horse-jumping competitions.
The hearing-impaired (also known as the deaf) kids are required to pass music class, the physically challenged, handi-capable kids (if you call them the crippled kids, or the gimpy kids, or the "one with the bum leg," you get sued) have to join JROTC. The developmentally challenged (can't call them retards) are required to join the debate team, the cheerleading squad, and cut all the firewood for the homecoming bonfire. After all, there's nothing that says handi-capable better than giving a bunch of retards a mess of axes and chainsaws and saying "have at-it!"
Actually, in lawsuit-happy America, the school system is probably afraid to not include them in drivers ed. You never know, one of the blind kids may pull the "race card!"
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