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February 17, 2006

The weapon of religious warfare...baked goods...

In a surprise move reminiscent of when the Americans renamed French fries to "Freedom Fries" , on Friday the Iranians changed the name of "Danish" pastries to "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad."

In an apparent frenzy that followed, numerous religious groups rushed to add their moniker to their favorite comestible. These are the results so far:

Banana-Nut Muffins changed to "Muslim Muffins."
Cinnamon rolls changed to "Catholic cakes."
Pancakes changed to "Protestant pastries."
Biscuits and gravy and grits changed to "Baptist Blessings."
Donuts became "Lamentations of the Lutherans."

The Methodists tried to claim Sticky Buns for themselves, but GLAD filed an injunction lawsuit against them. Get it?

Well, I'm going overboard, but you get the point. This is all so stupid it makes all of us look dumb. Besides, does it make sense that you can name baked goods after the Prophet but you can't draw a cartoon about him? Kooky. They say drawing a cartoon would lead to "idol worship." I say anyone that would commence idol worship of a cartoon is a total idiot, and I have a picture of Bugs Bunny for you. Of course, after that, eating carrots would probably cause a Muslim to strap on a bomb and defend the almighty Bugs. "The path to the great and powerful Bunny would be through his chosen one...Porky Pig."

May the blessings of Looney Toons be upon you...

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