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2006-01-14

Anti-gunners call for pellet-gun ban

After an 8th grader in Orlando Florida is shot by police while yielding a pellet gun that closely resembled a 9mm Beretta, members of the senate and proponents of gay cowboy movies called for a national ban on pellet guns, saying it would make it safer for children and Christmas movie watchers the world over. The "Brady bunch" went on to call for boycotts of any stores that sell pellet guns, or guns that look like pellet guns, or pellets that look like guns. Apparently even suppository dispensing devices weren't safe from their liberal wrath, much to the delight of gay groups who said they were tired of being held-up at anal-pellet gunpoint.

In another story, police went over to the house where the parents bought their kid a gun that looked like a real gun and further, that allowed him to take it to school...and slapped the piss out of them. Problem solved. Apparently, if he was forced to pump-up the gun ten-times before he pointed it at the cops, they would have known it wasn't an actual firearm...and not shot him.

When will people remember when the cops come, they're bringing an ass-kicking with them?

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