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January 19, 2006

Apparently you WILL go blind!

Apparently doctors proved there actually is a connection between men's "equipment" and their eyes. I don't believe, however, that it's the drugs that are at fault, but rather, men messing with nature.

First, impotence drugs are taken predominantly by men over 50, where your "operational capabilities" naturally begin to cease, in a corresponding fashion to female menopause (which should really be called "womanopause," but that's another issue). Then men introduce an artificial substance into their bodies designed to "pump new life into junior." If the age-old myth you hear people tell little kids "if you keep playing with it, you'll go blind" is true, then most men lose some virility just before they would naturally go blind from using their "stuff." Enter the drug that pushes them over the threshold, and boom...fate lost.

I think it comes down to choices. If you want to see Mr. Stiffy and need to take a pill to do it, then understand the trade-off is impaired vision because you really have reached the point of "playing with it too much." Or maybe the vision impairment is really a good side effect. After all, these men are kind-of "older," and the women are probably of corresponding age, so maybe the vision loss helps you to think you're seeing some young chick. Think positive.

Personally, I think most men would never need any impotence drugs if they just maintained both their health, and that of their mate as they got older. Face it, we all gain some weight, and we all age, but when the 100 pound girl you married becomes the 200 pound woman you're stuck with, don't blame yourself for not "catching wood!" No one would blame you for that. The American female "it's all about me" attitude only goes so far. She would probably try to convince you that her extra hundred pounds was your fault, and like the wussies most men are, probably take the blame. I know some self-centered, whining, pain-in-the-ass American chicks that would bring down the most virile 22 year-old. We've seen the commercials..."my man takes blah blah blah." If you stayed in shape, you would have the option to go out and find someone more appealing than that selfish beeyaatch....the ultimate revenge. Of course, if your chica is now older but still "smoking hot," then you're good to go.

Exercising also helps the sex drive, so armed with a lighter woman in better shape with a healthy sex drive, you would most likely be armed with the proper "gun," ready to go off.

I really don't think the "if you keep playing with it, you'll go blind" is actually true of those who just engage in natural "personal maintenance" activities. If so, I would have been as blind as Stevie Wonder 10-years ago. But hey, then I would've really gotten the chicks, because they would all look like Christie Brinkley! Wait a minute...Dad has macular degeneration. Whoa! I don't even want to think about that!

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