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July 13, 2018

Papa Johns and The Year-Long PC Vendetta Against John Schnatter

I smell the smelly smell of the L-word. First they condemn him for exercising his right to free speech as one of the biggest sponsors of the NFL and shit-can him from the company, then Trump-up this new thing and toss him from the board. It's sad. They take an out-of-context reference to the oh-so-tragic double-standard laden liberal white guilt-addled "N-word," the apparent mother of all taboos and fry the guy? I call bullshit. Or rather, I call the B-Word, S-Word. The double-standard sucks some serious D-Word.  "Hi Samantha Bee. Thanks for calling the First Lady of the United States the C-Word, here's a free pass for you. We know you said it directly, but it's not as bad as a training session second-hand reference to the N-word and you're one of us libs, so there you go. Arrghh. Well here's another N-word for you...Nonsense. Take a reference to a pathetically, and unglaublich verboten word (depending on who says it, hence the double-standard) out of context and make Schnatter a pariah. Label him a racist. Let your sniveling, decrepit liberal souls feel the warm salve of politically-correct smear and slander. Have at it. Did he actually call someone the "word that must not be spoken lest ye a racist?" I don't see any reference to that anywhere, going back to the commentary about the NFL flag protests. Who then, is out to get him? Are the A-Words on the board of directors, whose jobs wouldn't exist if not for John Schnatter creating the company, ganging-up on him? Are they as big a bunch of P-Words as they appear? Is everybody really that sensitive? Or that spineless? Context is important, isn't it? So when blacks spread the N-word around, all is well, but Schnatter making a historic reference to it (not calling someone it) is racist? B-Word S-Word Flag. I think they were just out to get him and they saw this as their chance to get completely rid of him. Funny how he isn't taken-down by competition from another pizza chain, but rather, by internal hatred, scheming, greed, and PC. Liberals (L-Words) are so disgustingly disingenuous and cowardly they should consider the word "Liberal" as grossly overused and paradoxically scandalized as the "N-word." Yep, the L-word is what got John Schnatter. We really need to figure out what is truly offensive, and what isn't. W-Word, T-Word, F-Word...

July 11, 2018

Trump NATO Summit: Leftist Media Reaches Lowest Point in History

"Trump said it is not fair to American taxpayers that Germany buys oil and gas from Russia while enjoying the umbrella of defense provided by U.S. dollars." He's right. It's not. Why should we pay for it? Scarborough said he was practicing "diplomatic malpractice?" Hey Joe, STFU, dipshit. For the first time we have a president that goes over and expresses the concerns of the American people instead of going over and kissing their asses and apologizing because we're doing better than they are and had to bail them out of trouble over and over. Joe, maybe you can do something with that ridiculous hair instead of running that sewer. MSNBC says Trump "demonized" our allies. Hey! Put that bathwater down! Stop drinking it! Okay liberal idiots, no one worships weakness like you do.  I know you cry at the thought of American exceptionalism and wouldn't be caught dead flying Old Glory, but your liberal spin on Trump's activities is subversive, pathetic, comedic and cowardly. Yes, you suck. President Trump took a leadership position and made our grievances known to a number of countries that not only don't pull their own weight in NATO, but enjoy trade imbalances with us. If they don't want to pay their fair share or have fair trade, then too bad if they get their panties in a wad. Governor Cuomo says trade and security don't relate? Wow, how do stupid people get elected. Wait! Never mind answering. Maybe they all need to watch the movie "Occupied" on Netflix. Basically, Norway tries to switch to alternative fuels for power, and Russia does a "silk-glove" takeover. Is that something Germany wants? How do we defend NATO countries from NATO bases against Russia if Russia can turn off the power? Why do we pay for the defense of wealthy nations while they make deals with the very country we're paying to protect them against? It's crazy. The fact liberals don't see that is just sad. And dishonest. And...

July 7, 2018

Schadenfreude and the Current #Uber Shitshow

So there I am, having early morning coffee, and on comes a new Uber TV commercial. (The link is from May and there's been some head-rolling since then) They're funny. And sad. "We have to be better citizens." We have to do things better" "We're re-inventing ourselves." Yeah. Sure you are. Like Wells Fargo said they were doing. Then had to say it again when more crap hit the fan. Right? Waving the bullshit flag. This bad juju and stepping on your air hose at Uber just keeps going and going. It comes down to computer geeks who read a copy of Fortune and let it go to  their head. They let a company get too big, too fast, try to do too many things at once, not perfecting "first things first," and not do that old standby, "keeping the main thing, the main thing." Okay, cliche' time is over. Did you figure out that tech weenies might not be leaders? Did you finally make the connection between people with anger control issues and negative perception of the people in charge? Will the self-driving car sexually assault people too? Realizing you need to know who's behind the wheel was a hard lesson, eh? Seems that should have been the easy one. It's the typical, American, in a hurry "let's implement number three before we have one and two figured out." It doesn't work. It never works. Well, unless you're Jeff Bezos, but that's a different animal entirely. So I'm at least getting some amusement out of all this. Schadenfreude- deriving pleasure from someone else's misfortune. Yep, that about sums it up.

Lunatic Fringe, I Know You're Out There!

In another music-themed entry involving crazy liberals, the lunatic in question is obviously off her meds. Or maybe she's over-medicating from the bottle of vodka she substitutes for water. Typical democrat, more concerned with the "rights" of those who break the law as their first act upon illegally entering this country than the safety, security, and prosperity of those of us either citizens or here legally. She's nuts. It's glaringly obvious. Both oars don't touch the water. Elevator doesn't go all the way up. A few donuts short of a dozen. All that and more. Also the one that dozes-off at State of the Union addresses and vilifies other democrats less-crazy than herself (with the rest of the lunatic fringe's approval). I see her reaching for the marbles in her pocket like "Captain Queeg" in The Caine Mutiny. Paranoid, delusional, the whole bit. Only Bogie did it better. It's pathetic how Nancy bothers herself with illegals more so than addressing why 22 veterans commit suicide every day (one every 65 minutes). She never served. The most likely reason? Never had the mental or physical toughness or the moral courage or character. It wasn't something her husband's money could buy for her. The song "Lunatic Fringe" by Red Rider fits ironically well into this issue, especially considering the culprit.

Lunatic fringe
I know you're out there
You're in hiding
And you hold your meetings
I can hear you coming
I know what you're after
We're wise to you this time (wise to you this time)
We won't let you kill the laughter

Lunatic fringe
In the twilight's last gleaming
But this is open season
But you won't get too far
'Cause you've got to blame someone
For your own confusion
We're on guard this time (on guard this time)
Against your final solution

We can hear you coming (we can hear you coming)

The Day...the Fitness...Died...

"Bye, Bye Miss American Pie, You're So Freaking Heavy That The Buddha Would Cry, You Think 4XL Stretchy Pants Hide All The Donuts and Pie, You Suntan and We All Wonder Why? You Suntan and We All Wonder Why?"  So I go out to the beach this morning in my post-insomnia daze to get some air and stretch my legs, fishing rod in-hand (just in case). No breakfast, trying to cut down a bit with just a little protein powder on-board, I feel a slight twinge of empty stomach churn as I pass a couple "walk of shamers" coming the other way. I hear the familiar slap of my bare feet on the wooden ramp leading to the beach and pick up the scent of salt air and dry seaweed. Walking out on the sand, I'm suddenly struck with a sense of horror! It's a mass marine mammal stranding! But wait! Whales can't walk upright. What? Whales can't sit up like Buddha slathering sunblock on large-curd cottage cheese thighs and bingo-winged appendages. What gives? I walk carefully, slowly, so not to alarm the wildlife. One beached creature is laying with it's tail fins in the water. I peer out into the early morning Gulf of Mexico, hoping to see the rescue boats coming to throw lines around these things tails and drag them back out to sea. Help them!  Help them! I silently plead in vain. Then I hear a crunch! A sick, nauseating crunch! I turn and to my amazement, one of them is holding a giant-sized bag of potato chips and voraciously stuffing them into it's gaping mouth like it's the last meal they'll ever get and they've stopped making original Lays! I'm aghast! Gobsmacked! Frozen in disbelief and disgust. Arrrgh. Brrrr. Yikes! Eeek! OMG!!! WTF... How have people gotten so fat? Do we blame it on leggings big enough to put on a hippo? Walmart swimsuits in sizes 2XL, 4XL, and Volkswagen? Do we blame it on TV shows with 400-pound women both pre and post heart attack, tragically proclaiming how good their lives are? Bullshit flag. You can tell they're lying. The "bleeding heart channel" put them up to it. It can't be that good if the term "morbidly obese" would describe someone half that size. Chips? What? Stuffing chips (crisps to my European friends) in your craw like you're starving at 8:30 in the morning? At a minimum 200 pounds overweight and stuffing chips? Ever hear of a salad? How about an apple? I'm no fitness model, but what the f---?  Seriously? Now don't give me your diagnosis of the mental pathology. Save it. Spare me. It's gluttony. Overindulgence. Nothing more. Gourmandism. Reprehensible overeating. Why not just stop using your hands entirely and bury your face in whatever you're eating. How about some restraint? Get rid of the fun-house mirror you obviously have in your house that says you're thin and those legging are "working for you." They're not. Or have a welcoming party for all the medical ailments, the stroke and heart attack that will eventually come your way. This morning, it might just be the day the very idea of fitness died. Don't worry though, for every person out their struck queasy by the sight of the beached whales (both male and female), there is somebody screwed-up enough to look at that person in their Volkswagen swimwear and say "yeah, I'd do that," which is another conversation entirely.

Abolish ICE? How about Abolish Democrats and take your Subversion With You...

How about taking your drink straight up? In the Middle East, they ask if you want your water "still" or "sparkling," but never include ICE. $300 dollar scotch never gets ICE. Drinking something while standing in front of the open refrigerator never gets ICE. And liberal democrats don't get it either. It's the mother of all bad ideas. To abolish the organization that battles #illegal immigration, #terrorists infiltrating across the border, #illegal gangs coming into the country, and #drugs like #heroin and #fentanyl coming in is just lunacy. Then again, people like #Elizabeth Warren, #Kamala Harris, and #Kirsten Gillibrand are lunatics. They're obviously just trying to get their faces in the news, albeit for an incredibly asinine reason. I can't help to think this just helps the GOP and law-and-order democratic citizens pull off another big win come election day. We spend billions of dollars a year to protect the borders of other countries, yet these morons think we should give away our sovereignty and our safety for some deluded idea of morality. I say no. Vote out these knuckleheads and get people who live on this planet in their seats. They're not doing this on moral grounds. Do you really think plastic woman #Nancy Pelosi is worried about that? No. They just want to illegally make more democrats. Their party is lacking leadership, those at the wheel are driving off the cliff, the rest are following these miscreants like lemmings, and this is their best, worst idea. It appears lefties are taking their drinks no ICE, straight up. A lot of them. Booze mixed with the democrat bathwater.

July 3, 2018

I Know a Guy

I know a guy that has nine kids. Wait, need for exclamation points!!! Yep, nine, four from his first marriage, four step-kids from the second wife, and a new one from the both of them. I know a guy that works like an animal dawn to dusk, then goes home to the big family. They live in a modest house they rent, but no one goes wanting. I know a guy that other people might look down their noses at, thinking he's some sort of white trash. I also know a guy that has an 840 credit score. Guess what...SAME GUY!" Yep, his shit is definitely together. He may not look like most people's idea of upper-middle class, but fuck those people, those pretentious judgmental douche-bags. When he goes by in his new boat, all those people might think he's one of them. I know a guy, gold Rolex. Real estate guy. You know the type. A hint of some fake blue-blood accent, fuchsia color shorts, red and white striped seersucker shirt. Big house, new car, wife all silicone and nip/tuck. You've seen it, face stuck in his phone at the restaurant, car dealer, in traffic, in the bathroom, boat shoes with no socks on a workday making it look like he's on top of the world.  And he's in hock up to his eyeballs. One false move, one accident, one unforeseen expenditure, one more uptick in his credit card percentage rate, and dude's tits-up. His credit rating is oddly still high. Lenders love someone leveraged to the max, but any moment, the sword of Damocles will fall. Bye bye private schools. See ya later long vacations. Trade the Mercedes for that Mitsu. Someone else is going by in your boat. Oddly though, ask someone who they would like to be, and they'd probably tell you guy number two. Not me. I'm just guy number one with a little different history and a bunch fewer kids. It changes the meanings of "Look out for number one," and "Don't be number two."

Ratship.Blogspot.Com is now

The blog is out from the shadows. Now you can find it, share it, comment on it, suggest future rants, articles, commentary, etc. I may as well apologize now. I may offend you. I might make you laugh. You may misinterpret sarcasm for anger or vitriol. There will be no sniveling. I'll tell it like it is, usually very bluntly. Sometimes it will be serious, but most times it will be tongue-in-cheek sarcastic wise-ass commentary intended to make you both think, and laugh. Hopefully you'll come to see my blog as a place with common sense truth-telling, waving the bullshit flag on people that deserve it, or giving someone credit where credit is due even if the mainstream media would rather shit on that person. Enjoy!

When Lies aren't Lies to Liars, or, "When Liars aren't Liars to Liars."

He "told viewers erroneously?" He "aired an erroneous Trump report?" Bullshit. He lied. Call it that. When will someone with any sort of balls say "he purposely lied so we fired him. He's a liberal puke jackass and he made us all look like idiots so he got shit-canned." The sniveling liberal media is a big fat problem in this country. When you sling mud on someone and stoke the flames of hate and discontent, you put ideas in people heads. They think they can talk however they please about the elected leader of our country. They spark the urge in the weak-minded democratic drones out there to take shots at conservatives at a baseball game, cry "resist" from the rooftops, urge their stupid followers to confront the opposition party when they're out with their spouses and children, and it all creates a world no one is very proud of or even wants to live in. Stop it. Enough! You assholes don't speak for anybody. Do you really think everyday people think like Maddow, Matthews, Hayes, Acosta, any of those dipshits on the View, or anyone at CNN? Do you really think ordinary Americans don't see the incredibly poisonous and completely unfair bias? Do you really believe that regular Americans believe Weiner, Abedeen, Clinton, Podesta, Comey, Lynch and all those various idiots are pure as the driven snow and Trump is to blame for everything from the Tide Pod challenge to rising Ocean levels? Sure. And Vince Foster really did die from two self-inflicted gunshots to the head!!!!  Go away Brian Ross. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

July 2, 2018

Describing Who You Are...

I just noticed a spot on my page that says "Describe Who You Are." What the "firetruck" is FB thinking on that one? Someone needs a nut punch. Pull the pretentiousness bus over. It's the most aggravating form of question usually posed by fakers. Posers. The pseudo intellectual. The ones REM used to call the freaking "shiny, happy people." The question "who are you" ends more conversations than it starts...probably because it's closely associated with "who the hell do you think you are?" I hate people that try to sound smart. They know they aren't so they try to fake it. "So, tell me about yourself." "Well, I'm retired army: married to my Panamanian queen, I fish, sell boats, write novels that don't sell, rant online and am currently addicted to NETFLIX." "No, tell me about you." "What?" "Tell me something about the inner you." "WTF do you mean?" you ask, thinking don't ask me to open up, it's too soon. At this point you get the fake sincerity stare into your eyes, aiding the realization that behind those eyes is a tangled web of bad wiring and excrement. "Tell me about the real you" "What?" So now Springsteen's "Nebraska" starts playing in your head and you go for shock value. "Well, I have a strong desire to slit the throats of at least three people in the room, notice the fat one in the stretchy pants' butt looks as lumpy as a bag of clams, I always wear my underwear with the seams out, and right now, getting uncomfortable with this line of questioning I'm eyeing the door." "Oh, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." What? Of course you did you stupid skank." "Well I never" "Yeah, that's bullshit." "Well that's not productive?" "No, what's productive is getting my butt out of the DMV and going to the tackle shop." Bam! You thought I was going somewhere else with this, eh?
Why does Blogger Spell Check think "donut" is misspelled?

Amazing! A Rant from October 16, 2016 is Still Valid!!!

In yet another edition of "TODAY'S INDIFFERENCE WITH BRAINCLOGGER," I comment on the following: -Today is "National Coming Out Day" and if there is anything called "less-of-a-shit," that's what I'm giving on that topic. So what, you're gay. Well woop-dee-freaking-doo, keep your sexual orientation issues to yourself. I don't give a crap. -Obama wants to send people to Mars. Personally, I'd like to send Obama to way...and help the rest of his sycophantic personality cult pack to go with him. Too bad he gives more to NASA than to the vets that shed their blood keeping this boiling cauldron called America free enough for him to fuck it up some more. National debt...that's all I have to say, the shell game of running us into debt we can't recover from while blowing smoke up our butts and telling us how great everything is...when it's not. But I digress. Nancy O'Dell is saying she's the woman Trump was talking about in his now infamous "P-word" rant. First, this cosmetic surgery queen strikes me as someone that feels some sort of desire to stay in the spotlight. I mean, why would you put yourself in the middle of that shitstorm? Oh, and her assertion that "men's locker room talk" has no place in government is absurd. Women talk trash too. Come on, you know you do. Admit it. You'll feel better. Besides, Trump isn't some kind of southern gent or metro-sexual douche-bag. He's a product of New York City. Only PC boot-lickers, "P-word-whipped men" and the women who own them are truly surprised by the supposedly "offensive" banter. Well, maybe not the latter. Sorry, I'm not offended either. It's not offensive to me. Besides, the true sell-outs are already in government with names like Ryan, Reid, Pelosi, Cruz, Chafitz, Obama, and Schumer. What is offensive is how the news media lets Hillary get away with anything and everything and are in "cahoots" with the dems. I mean, when the debate moderator went to your wedding, you rigged the debate. When your husband goes on a plane to talk to the attorney general the Friday before you're supposed to get in deep shit over mishandling classified data, then you don't, you rigged the system. When you say you're pro-woman but get dough from Saudi and no one calls you on it, you rigged the media. When you sell US government uranium to the Russians, who pay your foundation (not the govt), then you say the Russians are working with Trump, then the news backs you up on the Trump thing and ignores the uranium are completely corrupt and so are they (I could go on forever). Yep, above the law. She could punch a baby in the face in Times Square on national TV and the press would give her a pass. Truly offensive things are crimes against children, XXX stretchy pants, lawyers, fat people who claim their donut habit is caused by "low blood sugar," people that push their religion on others, fishermen that don't catch and release, and the fact no one seems to remember "sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me." Arrghh.

So there you go...

Rant of The Day: "Selfies"

(rant of the day) I have a dream...a dream of snatching the phone out of the hand of every jackass that forces me to stop walking because they stopped in front of me to take a "selfie." Then I heave the phone as far as I can. Just the word itself makes me want to go ape shit. Selfie. Sounds more like masturbation than picture taking. Selfie... How about "keep it to your selfie, go f---' your selfie, kill your selfie, punch your selfie in the face!" It's made worse when you see roving packs of dudes that live in work camps here in the UAE wandering around the beachfront taking "selfies" and glamour shots of each other. It's creepy, made even more sad because you know they make about twenty bucks a day but have $300 cell teenagers. Half of these guys are wearing their man-scarves, which just makes it worse. A third of them remind me of Freddie Mercury. They hold hands with each other. I know it's a cultural thing but I'm from Jersey so knock it off. I'm amazed I don't drink here. Maybe I should.


I just heard the term "Duck Face" for the first time. Funny. Yeah, I know...where have I been, blah blah blah. It seems girls actually do make that face every time they take another vain selfie picture of themselves. Damn that Kim Kardashian. She isn't the first girl with big lips you know. However, some Duck Faces aren't that flattering. Stupid really. And vain. Take a picture of something else for once. Did you hear about this video camera that turns on when it sees you and tracks and records your every move. Orwell told us this would happen. Remember, they use the same sort of cameras in airports and prisons. People never realize how they give up their freedoms until they have none. They do it willingly, then try to blame others when it happens. As for me, I'm going fishing. See you out there.

From the Archive: The First Rant of 2017

Denial is an ugly thing. Obama denying he had any scandals during his 8 years is ugly. It makes him look stupid and cowardly. His people doing it for him only makes it worse. #EricHolder denying he was part of that is ugly. California hiring him to be anti-POTUS is worse. Libs everywhere in their denial to accept the election results are doing ugly shit everywhere. Obama too. Just go away already. #DonLemmon's disgusting version of denial is stating the four black kids that tortured the white kid in Chicago wasn't a hate crime. Yes it was. Lib denial makes them meekly report and "lib deny" the incident and sound as stupid as they obviously are. If roles were reversed, the mall protests in Chicago (they don't protest in the black neighborhoods there) would be in full swing and riot fires would be seen from space. Hypocracy is that other ugly thing. To a liberal, accepting reality must be as bad as denial or honesty. Libs actually love #Trump. He's the guy that lets them finally stop blaming GW Bush for everything, jump over all the libs in between and now blame everything on Trump. Would Killary be getting this much bullshit? I think not. To a lib she's Snow White when in fact she's the Evil Queen and the mirror fell off the wall and shattered into fifty-million sniveling, whining, where-is-my-stress-dog liberal pieces. I digress, so I circle back around and blame this on Obama and all his sycophantic drones. Let me be clear...if you relinquish your brain to the bathwater-drinking liberal cause, I don't care what your opinion is. I'm sick and tired of liberal bullshit. You don't sound smart. Your position makes no sense. What manner of excrement is in that cranium of yours? Fast and Furious was a scandal. Benghazi was a scandal. The beer summit thing was a scandal. Missing stimulus money is a scandal. Need I go on? This country has become so permissive to sniveling assholes that idiots like the four black kids in Chicago thought nothing of broadcasting torture and hate on Facebook. Can the internet actually make people more stupid? The "selfie generation," so insecure yet so bafflingly conceited they constantly take their own picture. How about a picture of you getting a job, helping out instead of wanting a hand-out? How about a selfie of a new set of balls, a backbone, or the ability to shut your mouth, accept reality, learn how our country actually works, and remember, some of us just suffered through 8 years of a complete disaster. #BruceSpringsteen? He went from the "Boss" to a complete douche. Shut up and sing Bruce. The fact money made you lose your friggin mind is a different issue. Nonsequitor yes, but so what. Oh, and if any lib reading this is so offended you want to reply, good, but don't bother. Like I said before, your delusional kool-aide drinking lib philosophy makes your argument ridiculous and your opinion nonsense. Obama said he had a phone and a pen, well I have a delete button and a middle finger. Cheers!

June 30, 2018

The World Today

Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.
William Butler Yeats

The Constitution and the #NRA: The View from my Foxhole

I hear a lot of people talking about the 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution. Here's a bit of clarification: In the premable of the Bill of Rights, it says "The Conventions of a number of the States, having at the time of their adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added." It is clear to me that the 2nd Amendment is meant to allow citizens to "keep and bear arms" to protect ourselves from the government. The founders were clearly taking steps to prevent the government from abusing its power. Politicians clearly hate this. Any time someone says the Constitution is out-dated, or not specific, I call bullshit. Sure, we can talk about a citizen's right to high-capacity magazines or weapons of war (I don't think people need), but the basic right to keep and bear arms should be maintained, as the amendment says "shall not be infringed." The laws regarding felons and mental patients already exist. Enforce them. It's tricky business because of a thing called the 4th Amendment (Rights against unlawful search and seizure). It's illegal to just bust in someone's house because they're a felon or mental patient to see if they're armed. Background check laws already exist. Enforce them. The Gun-Show loophole is gone. Enforce it. Automatic weapons are already illegal unless you are a licensed federal dealer. Bump stocks should be too. Provide mandatory gun training just like a driver's license, hunting license, or scuba certificate. NRA has been advocating all these things for years.

A Warning About The Mainstream Liberal Media

The Congress Gun

It's called the "Congress Gun." Makes a loud noise but nothing really happens. The stink makes you think it works but somehow maybe just missed you. When the smoke clears, your wallet is missing and somehow you bought another Congress gun. No matter how much you try, you can never get the gun fixed.

The Hard-of-Hearing are on Notice!!!

If one more hard-of-hearing person asks me a question, and when I answer it I get "what?" back one more freaking time, I'm going to be in jail for assault. Remember "going postal?" If you can't hear, GET A DAMN HEARING AIDE, don't just add "what" to your vocabulary. Arrghh. Just wait. You'll all know how frustrating it gets. By the way, if you can't hear someone speaking, don't assume the conversation is about you and barge in with "what???" Yikes...

Hi, thanks for calling Comcast. We're all about customer service...gag...

Liberal Bathwater-Drinking A-Hole of the Week.
This week's lunatic liberal A-hole of the Week is Senator Jeff Merkley. He's on a different planet. He's been strapped inside the beltway so long he's real-world deficient. He's been around other "traded their water for vodka" democrats for so long, he's as warped as the wine barrel he obviously dips from hourly. Only in liberal America would the appointment of a Pro-Constitution justice to the Supreme Court be anti-American. "This sends shock waves through the communities of every citizen who believes in the vision of 'We the People' government because already we have a 5-4 court that…consistently favor[s] the privileged and powerful over ordinary people. And it's really kind of standing the vision of our Constitution on its head." Are you shitting me? Hey hypocrite, ever hear of Hillary Clinton? Democrat, right? Liberal, right? Just like you? Man, are you deluded. Ever hear of Bernie Sanders? Ever feel the Bern? What? You don't have a $200,000 car you can drive while talking shit about other rich people like you aren't one? What's really in that water glass? Ever hear of George Soros? Liberal, right? Doing more harm to our country than any Supreme Court Justice but you love his Anti-American ass, right? How utterly corrupt you democrats are, how disingenuous and self-serving. You prey every day to Saul Alinsky that Americans are as gullible as you, and guess what...they're not. Not even close. Just looking at your smug expression makes my head hurt. Liberals insult people by thought, word, and deed, and then expect reward. You enslave people every day and believe that it won't ever change. Well, it's changing. Every day, as each democrat cries "resist" to everything that happens, more and more people are waking up to your bullshit. Good luck with that.

June 28, 2018

A-Hole of The Next 13 Seconds

Jim Acosta. The man with (almost) the biggest ego and worst attitude of any liberal I've seen (besides Chuck Schumer, Adam Schiff, Elizabeth Warren and the Hildebeast). Truly a legend in his own mind. Kind-of the Randy "Macho-Man" Savage of the White House Press corps. Biased much? I'd love to call him A-hole of the week, or month, but he's just so insignificant to daily life it would be absurd. It might also inflate his ego even further, which is probably impossible. Don't swell his head to bursting, the dog excrement would shower the press room. Vile head bile? Gibberish and nonsense? This is truly a man that forgets his place. He reports on the President of the United States. The President. You know, a truly important man deserving of respect. Acosta is not important. He's demonstrated poor manners, disrespect, and arrogance on the TV news. I find him a good reason for Alka-Seltzer and the cable remote. How dare I say these things? He put himself out there, open to ridicule, so here it is... He misinterprets his function. Report the news, Jim, don't become the news. It's really not about you. He is to sit, and wait, and speak respectfully when it is his turn to the President's Press Secretary. She is also an important person. He is not. He shouldn't expect to engage the president directly or think he is on the same level. No, he is not. A third grader could do his job. A third grader would display more character, respect, and objectivity than Jim Acosta displays. He's the epitome of the term "hoist on his own petard," yet even after numerous self-implosions, he's still at it. A for effort. F for everything else. Maybe this is just what he's going for as a TV personality. Not sure why he would want to be known as an A-hole. Maybe he's an okay guy off work? Maybe he's too corrupted or too competitive with the other knuckleheads at #CNN. Who knows, maybe he'll step on his own crank again soon and just go away. 13, 12, 11, 10,...

June 27, 2018

I love this one.

Image result for anthony kennedy retiring memes

Kennedy Relic Joins Hunger Strike, Press Goes Mental

In another bout of "assuming anyone still gives a shit about anyone named Kennedy," the press went into full retard mode today after Ethel Kennedy, wife of JFK's little brother Bobby, joined the pathetically ridiculous hunger strike to protest "Trump Immigration Policies." You know, the same immigration policies these liberal a-holes thought were perfectly fine under Libtard Obama. Did they sling any mud on Obama? No. Of course not. Did they snivel and cry and say how mean and evil he was? No. Of course not. National lefty media outlets jumped at the chance to report on a Kennedy and sadly attempted to link democrats with who they still think are dem heroes and what they perceive to be a social justice issue. Sorry. Fail. All they did was remind us how sad they are, and how double-standards don't seem to apply to lefties. Oh, and how much ass JFK got in the White House and it was perfectly fine, but some porno whore insinuates she had a relationship with #Trump and the press goes mental yet again...but I digress.

June 26, 2018

The Libtard Full-Frontal Freak Show

We all know polls are stupid. And wrong. And biased. And easily manipulated. We all know liberals are stupid. And wrong. And biased. And easily manipulated. To push forward the idea that our "democracy is failing," when in fact, our system of government is NOT a democracy, is misleading and dishonest (and irritating to those of us that know better). I would like to dismiss it as a puff piece, but as it's shamelessly dishonest, I'll call it the "Poison Puff Piece." It reminds me of phrases like "don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining," "you can fool some of the people some time, but...," and "if it wasn't for gullible people, welfare recipients, and deaf-mute drones, there'd be no democrats." Stop the nonsense. Stop trying to scare the lesser-informed with this sort of bullshit. Stop with the "Trump's such a meany" scare tactics. It's stupid. And so are liberals. Now I'll go get in my Lamborghini and leave. It's a Nissan, but I tell myself it's something else. You know, like our "democracy."

The Green Slime of Constitutional Ignorance

Take a look at the attachment. Thoughts? Well, in today's lesson boys and girls, WE HAVE NEVER BEEN A DEMOCRACY!!!. Jeez, Louise, how many more times will I see people sniveling about how we "no longer live in a democracy" and how the big bad corporations run everything and blah, blah, blah. Tell you what, since you obviously know more about social media and techno-gadgets and all other things completely freaking unnecessary, take a few seconds and copy/paste the following;  There you go. Click on it and actually read it. If your attention span is like what I think it is, skip to Article 7. Wait. Should i just tell you? We're a federal republic, not a democracy. Never have been, never will be. So don't whine about something that never was, because if you're trying to sound smart, you just outed yourself as being a dipshit drone for the democrats. What's a republic? Wait. Don't bother looking. A republic is a form of government in which the country is considered a "public matter", not the private concern or property of the rulers. The primary positions of power within a republic are not inherited. It is a form of government under which the head of state is not a monarch. A little less social media drone-type behavior please. Smart phones don't make you smart. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

The Bob Meuller Boomerang Effect, or "Been There, Done That, Doing it Yet Again."
Why do I hear "Boiiinnngggg" in my brain? Russian collusion again? AGAIN!!! WTF? Been there, done that. I think it's the "I have to justify to Hillary hat I'm doing and also justify the millions of dollars lining my pockets." I call bullshit! Stop the Insanity!!! End this stupid, embarrassing charade and show some damned respect to the freely elected President of this country.

June 25, 2018

When Racism Reduces Itself to Who Said It
Now here is some truly moronic shit. Yep, dressed-up as a black man with writing skills, I acknowledge he is talented as a writer. That aside, this article is an enormous pile of racist bullshit, sadly condoned and kept online because of who wrote it. Imagine an article entitled "black people are cowards." People would go out of their damned minds. Sure, every white person on earth could stand up and do something about racism, but why should people with no blame for slavery have to do anything? Is it about your idea of required shame? Would anyone recognize the effort anyway? Probably not. If I offered a black man a job, would he take it, or call me a racist and want some sort of reparation hand-out? My family wasn't even in the country before 1900, so what do I have to do with it? If racism really is the all-consuming aspect of your every day, you're doing something wrong. White people are cowards? When will blacks acknowledge the highest crime rate is blacks against other blacks? Then when will they do something about it? Why is it a tragedy if a cop kills a black kid, but not when a black kid kills another black kid? Why did they protest in the shopping district on the Miracle Mile rather than in the neighborhoods where all the crime is happening? White people are cowards? White Men Can't Jump. Imagine a movie entitled "Black Men Can't Swim." People would go out of their minds over that shit. And get your history straight. Muslims started slavery. Blacks in Africa sold-off those they conquered to white slavers. That's right, white men didn't just land in Africa and go rounding people up. Yes, slavery was some vile, repugnant shit that never should of happened, and it did, but guess what...we don't have to live with it. It's over. There is no yoke on you or anyone else. Drop it already. Clean your own house. Straighten-out your own life. Tell people to pull up their pants and work hard, try to get along, and stop blaming ancient history for present day problems. Blame is easy. Stop waiting for Whitey to do it for you. Do you think shaming people will get them to do something? Most, like me, don't feel shame for slavery in America because we had nothing to do with it. White people actually think about race far less than you think. The NFL is over 70% black  but no white people are sniveling about it. It's not a big deal. You can try to paint me with a white brush and say I'm just like the rest but you would be wrong. You were the one that threw the first insult and I can tell you it's not okay. See, in my world, there are two types of people; good people, and assholes. That's it. Which category are you? And stop trusting democrats. They enslave people every day. See for yourself. They give out just enough to keep people dependent on them, but not enough for people to get ahead, climb out of poverty, start their own business, or really be free. That's real evil.

Idiots on Parade
You know, I never press my face against the glass when looking at a reptile. Something about them repulses me so even though I am aware of the separation, I keep a greater distance. At Sea World, I never sit down in front at the Shamu show. I know I'll get wet and the water is colder than normal, so I keep my distance. I never go in the "jungle adventure." The monkeys will throw their shit on you, rest assured. I don't want shit on me. Seeing them on TV is fine. Out fishing, I don't call the shark that swims by and jump in after it. No. Those things are dumb. Are they as dumb as politicians? Maybe not. I mean, who would sign-up for that sort of abuse anyway? You may have to be fairly "Gump-ish" to want to hang out with cretins like politicians in Washington and have to assume any kind of subordinate role to these knuckleheads. I wonder if these people are naturally repulsive, like the pep rally types in high school, pickled herring, or leggings on granny, or did they have to work on it. They get in government and make decisions for the rest of us and I'm not sure we've tested them for levels of their own bathwater in their bloodstreams or Jackson Pollock-style alcohol levels. Am I calling politicians stupid? What do you think? The problem is what's worse than stupid, and that's stupid people that think they're smart. Nowhere is there a greater choice of examples than in government. Take Maxine Waters. Do I really need to say more? Nancy Pelosi. Drunk and dumb, yet keeps getting elected. We should really worry about those people. Oh, and she's corrupt, like Chuck Schumer, who graduated from school and went straight into politics. Been in it so long now he's crooked as a dog's hind leg and has such a strange view of the world from his Washington foxhole he thinks Nixon is still in office. Hillary's dumb and crooked too. Left office broke and yet is somehow a bazillionaire? How does that work? Lives with the "depends on the definition of what is, is," guy and thinks Americans can't spot a fraud. Obamas too. Came in so-so, left filthy rich. John Lewis. Constantly tells people that democrats freed the slaves, and is a civil rights "icon" for getting beat-up on a bridge other democrats! Bernie Sanders? He loves bad-mouthing rich people while driving his $200,000 car. Yep, the problem is stupid people that think they're smart. Me? I just think I'm sarcastic...and politicians will throw their shit on you.

When Liberal Hate Speech is More Reliable than the Weather Report

Now here's what I mean about liberal bias, "yellow" journalism, spineless liberal drone behavior, ass-kissing the donkey, the donkeypunch, what have you. Sarah Huckabee gets tossed from a Virginia restaurant over the weekend, supposedly because of her support of Trump's policies, Trump defends her by slinging a little mud of his own, and libs attack like the dogs they are... They go on the offensive (wait. If you're already "offensive" can you go on the "offensive?" I love my double entendre's) and throw mud at the president instead of just reporting the news? A non-stop moron-athon that needs some toning down. Hater-aide-drinking dipshits like Dean Obeidallah and his lunatic fringe over at CNN say things like; "Donald Trump's immoral family separations at the border," "Trumps immoral policies," and use terms like "bigoted" and "cruel." Well, I don't buy it. Nice try, clown-shoe. Seems you had no problem when Obama was flooding the camps with illegal immigrant kids, but now Trump's the asshole, right? Wrong. Crocodile tears dripping into the tainted liberal breast milk, buddy. Move over Maddow, O'Donnell, Matthews, and Hayes (wait...I just got a little nauseated), there's a new Spin Doctor in town. Cooper must be so proud. No one should ever read things like "as a progressive" in a news article, as Obeidallah says in his. The reporters political leanings aren't supposed to matter. The news isn't supposed to be a political platform so everybody with a computer can sign-on and crap all over the president of the United States. The news should be objective. Reporters should be impartial, or at least not glaringly one-sided. Editors should be newsmen or newswomen or newspersons, not yet another liberal fondling the donkey balls. This wasn't an important story. It was a hit piece by an obviously biased Clintonite who saw his chance to take a swing. I hold out hope for non-biased news, but I'm not so naive. And this isn't the President's fault. It started way before him. When liberals decide they want no part in immigration reform (even after their phony support for Dreamers), it forces one side to handle all the issues. Like it or not, when faced with insanely difficult choices, Trump acted. What else was he going to do. He knew you CNN and Daily Beast Bozo's would cream him for it, but what choice did he have? Had any president before him or any congress worth a shit (whenever that was) actually done something about immigration other than beat their gums about it for temporary political advantage, maybe the whole situation could have been avoided. Maybe not. We won't know. Democrats have declared themselves persona-non-grata with their Obama-led, idiotic (pardon me for being redundant) "resist" movement. Never before has a president told people not to follow the one that came after him, but I digress.

Back from self-imposed exile!!!

See the Whole Blog Here!!!So I took a break from blogging about the mind-numbing bile-spewing liberal-biased news media for...well, three years! Some break. It hasn't gotten any better Why did I think it would? In fact, it's far worse. Oh, then Google acquired my blogger platform. Does this thing even publish to the internet? Democrats snake-bit over the election are still curled-up in the corner licking their asses, refusing to do anything except snap at the person that hit them with the rolled-up newspaper on election day, Donald Trump. Hey, I'd love a job where I can do absolutely jack-shit, act like a petulant child, openly declare I'm not going to do anything but get in the way and suck-in oxygen someone else could actually use, and still remain in congress. Hell, even get re-elected (if Wasserman-Schultz, Pelosi, Warren, Sanders, et al, are any sort of bad examples). Well, examples of mouth-breathing, wrong-thinking, blue-blooded A-holes that somehow think their idiotic decision-making is in any way based in reality or beneficial to anyone in the real world. I got a tax break. My 401k is way up. My Middle Eastern friends are no-longer reluctant to speak of our president, and instead of two  protest-organizing lawyers in the White House (who dream of being Netflix movie producers, go figure) there's a businessman and a five-language speaking supermodel!  Don't even get me started on Hollywood rich people. Arrghh. WTF does DeNiro know about life outside the bubble? Or that goof that plays the Hulk? Fire Rosie for shitty comments because she's a conservative, but let libtard Samantha Bee call the first-lady the C-word, yep, that's not liberal media bias, is it... So I'm back. Prepare to get irritated. Prepare to laugh. Please review previous blog entries for their comedic, sarcastic, timely comment on past issues, and see what's in store...

May 3, 2014

Rutgers loses only copy of Consitution. Allows Muslims to rule.

Good for you Condi. No need for you to speak at a school that apparently forgot about freedom of speech. No, not the freedom of speech of the ten or so Muslim students or sickening liberal professors, but the rights of all the other kids at that "school," the ones that understand Ms. Rice is an historic figure. This is the same school that had Snooki...yes, Snooki, D-T-F drunken little skank Snooki give the commencement speech. Shame on you Rutgers. What Rutgers also fails to remember is Muslim students, be them citizens or not, need to understand that while they have the right to express their opinions (although foreigners doing that is a slippery slope), they do not, read do not have the right to violate the rights of the rest of the student body. Nor do the professors, who use college campuses to indoctrinate college kids into their own political fold rather than teaching these kids how to open their minds, expand their horizons, and think for themselves. The problem is, if they dare open their minds, the liberals fill them with nonsense. Shame on you Rutgers professors. The State University of New Jersey...the one that lost their only copy of the US Constitution. The one that pays more creedence to Muslims in their hijabs than the large majority of the school. You're in Jersey, not Riyadh. Maybe they should watch more Star Trek so they could hear Spock say "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

When the hell is failure an option?

I hate that expression! When is failure really an option? Uttering this oxymoron just makes people look stupid. It points out they have nothing else to say except some ridiculous platitude that means nothing. We should call it "comment number 2," that way people could get it in without the rest of us having to hear it. This is almost as stupid as "it is what it is," or "it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when." Let's call those comments number 1 and 3. Failure is not an sh--.

This is what's wrong with our immigration system
I wrote this in 2014. Seems to still be applicable. This is what's wrong with our country. They government goes to the great length to change the law to make this guy eleigible to practice law, when what they should really do is help him become a citizen! Whatever happened to that? He's obviously been in the country for years and years, yet he decided to skip that part. He could have filed for a student visa and then a green card, then took the tests to become a citizen as opposed to take the classes to become an ambulance chaser. We don't need more lawyers, but we need legal citizens that exercise their legal rights, not ones that help change the constitution. Do the right thing. Become a citizen. You've been here for 15-20 years...what are you waiting for?

December 19, 2012

Assault Weapons Ban is Ineffective Political Bullshit

I'm a gun owner and NRA member, but I don't believe anyone needs an assault weapon. I say ban them, but doing so now is just a political ploy, a nonsensical knee-jerk to the real issue. The problem is that we have a pile of crazy people in this country that snap like, well, the crazy people they are, and apparantly also being cowards, they decide to go pick on schoolchildren instead of someone that would fight back or at least offer a moderate amount of resistance. Or flee. Or do something besides stand there bewildered because they're children, but I digress. We need to figure out why people snap and then grab weapons and go kill masses of Americans. Why do people "go postal," a term derived from the constant shootings of postal workers by other postal workers. We have to figure that out. We also need to eliminate the gun show loophole in the background check process. If you NEED a gun that day, you probably shouldn't have it. If you're at a gun show to purposely get around the background check, you shouldn't be allowed to buy a gun. Do it like in New Jersey: a citizen buys one permit to buy one gun, which takes 7 days to get. Once they have the permit, they have 30 days to buy the gun or the purchasing permit expires. If they want to buy another gun, they have to get another permit. It makes sense. Also, this second amendment argument is a bunch of crap. I don't think while Jefferson was loading his single-shot musket that took him over a minute to reload, that he was referring to 800-round per-minute assault rifles people have the guts to say they're buying for hunting purposes or home defense. Yep. Go buy a double-barrel shotgun to do that and leave the weapons of war in the hands of the military. I would, however, like to have a World War II M-1 for the collection. By the way...if any politician thinks they look smart or serious or compassionate or caring as they vote for the weapon's ban, guess don't! You look like a clown-shoe wearing dolt that's a day late, and a dollar short. You go for the low-hanging political fruit because doing the hard, honest work is too big a leap for you. It's too hard to establish a budget, cut spending, shore-up medicare and social security by raising the age, or protect citizens by figuring out why we have so many depressed, prozac-taking hair-trigger lunatics in this country, so let's jump on the assault weapons issue that's as easy as falling on a slip-and-slide. After all, someone already did that. All you have to do is...well...nothing, and that's what you're used to doing.

September 27, 2012

Obama Gives jobs to the Chinese

Funny how Obama rails on Romney for sending jobs to China, while he does the exact thing. Well, not exactly, he takes YOUR tax money and then gives it to China, the same way he took YOUR tax money and gave it to foreign "green job" producers in Scandanavia and Mexico. Liar liar, pants on fire...

March 21, 2012

Dental tourism? Como.

I just saw an Internet for "dental tourism," where you travel to Guatemala to visit an American-trained dentist and pay one-tenth of the price for treatment because the insurance overhead is cut out. $38 for a cleaning. $38!!! Wow. While perplexed, stunned and amazed, I'm also intrigued. What's next? If they come up with proctological tourism, count me out.

Carbon-hating president burns millions in carbon to protest carbon

Anyone else think it's disingenuous and hypocritical to use Air Force One and the rest of the aerial armada to go stump for alternative energy? Hey Obama, next time take a convoy of Prius' you phony jackass!!! If carbon is the fuel of the past, why did you just spend a few million dollars on it? Maybe your solar buddies could have helped you out? Wait, one went tits-up, another does business in Mexico, and the other has their hand out for more. For shame. Punch yourself in the face...

White House coke machine replaced by smoking crack.

When you are so political you think searching for long- term energy solutions that don't exist is more important than lowering the price of gas when it's at an historic're smoking crack.

When you believe it's smart to fly around in a couple 747's and military jets carrying your limousines and burning millions of dollars in fuel to go talk about the cost of're smoking crack.

When you haven't granted any lew oil leases, decreased the amount of federal land available to drill, but tell everyone you increased're smoking crack...not to mention lying.

When you give half a billion dollars to a solar company that fails and keep thinking your energy policy has a point other than politics and your energy secretary has come thing other than shit for're smoking crack.

October 25, 2011

This country has gone insane!!!

CNN has lost it's mind: They all have nothing else to talk about than Herman Cain's smoking Chief of Staff. Who gives a shit? Their boy smokes, but they conveniently forget about that.

Headline News has nothing else to talk about but the Michael Jackson trial. Who gives a shit!

Jane Velasquez-Mitchell...same same.

Our President has become a persona non-Grata joke. He's a pair of clown shoes. The country is circling the bowl and he's out at fund raisers with the astonishingly absurd belief he needs four more years to finish flushing the country. He's going on the Tonight Show. He's on a bus tour like a sad Blues musician touting his lack of vision and complete mental blank when it comes to governing.

Our politicians are squabbling like children! Do they really think we want them to act worse than a bunch of first graders on the playground? You people suck.

Democrats want to spend even more money we don't have. Tell you what, give up the limousines and airplanes and go to the supermarket and ask them to give you a cart full of groceries for free...see how long it takes for them to throw you out. In fact, throw yourselves out. You suck too.

The liberals are mourning Gaddafi. What? The president says he wants to support the new leadership who just instituted Sharia law. Okay, so no Easter dinner at the white house, but an Eid dinner during Ramadan?

Where is he? Where is the President? Why isn't he at work? If he's still taking a paycheck, why isn't he at work?

The people protesting Wall Street should be protesting the White House. That's who's really taking your money.

Democrats want to make the 1% of the people in this country that pay 20% of all the taxes to pay their "fair share." What's fair about that? Get all the lazy welfare taking bastards to get off their asses. Tell people out of work there is dignity in working, and to stop taking their unemployment welfare.

The government won't secure the borders. They won't follow the law, and they punish states that take it upon themselves to do what the federal government won't do.

"Clean coal." There is no damned thing, so shut up about it.

The government gives my money to green energy companies that go broke, and they don't admit it! Why should anyone pay taxes if this is how they spend them?

The first stimulus didn't work! Why do people think another one will?

The President already paid off the teacher's union, and now he says his new bill will put teachers back to work? Come again? This is insanity.

People have gone from seeing a rich man and asking themselves how they can make money like he does, to asking himself how they can take what he has. We have a society full of sniveling welfare-addicted maggots. Make your own damned money.

The trade bill with Korea and Panama would have been done a year ago, but the President wanted to get them to unionize in their own countries. Insanity! They laughed at him and sent him packing. Yes, they laughed at the President.

We're spending more per week on the security of Afghanistan's border than we paid for our own border last year! Incredible.

I'd like to go on, but I have to go spew. Throw all of them out! It's a do-over.



January 7, 2011

Just read a great book called Unnecessary Evils!

Great stuff! It kept going and changing and keeping me interested. Action, adventure, no waxing philosophical on anything for more than half a page, good versus evil, ass-kicking, mystery, twists and turns and now I want the next one, which the author is apparently working on. Check it out!

April 2, 2010

A-Hole of the Next Ten Minutes

In a new feature here on Brainclogger and a tribute to Larry Flynt, I've decided to put a face to the people I consider perpetrating utter stupidity in the name of humanity. Sadly, there are so many brown-eyes, turd cutters, sphincters, poop chutes, rectal caves, balloon knots and other a-hole resembling people doing a-hole-ish things that I can't go with "A-Hole of the month," or the week, or even the day. People in society today, not even mentioning our government make not calling someone a butthole every few minutes virtually impossible.

Back to these two silly Russians. Dipshit female number one, on the left, barely 17 years-old, was most likely 16 in the picture with her "husband," a rat bastard Muslim terrorist otherwise known as dipshit male number two (also an anal reference)on the right. Where were these kids parents? Maybe they're the real a-holes of the next ten minutes. Who let her marry at 16? Who made her an extremist shithead? Who turned her into a mass murderer? Who gave her the gun she has in her miniature hand? Who introduced her to the Muslim zealot she apparently married as a child?

So where does a 17 year-old girl get an explosive belt? There must not be many malls in Russia, or schools, or proms, cell phones, Facebook, or TV, or something other than marrying young, filling yourself full of hate, and instead of going to the movies with your friends, you blow-up a subway full of innocent people because in your warped mind, the mass-murdering shithead you married whom the government killed, needs to be avenged. Maybe they never learned to fish.

I am so tired of hearing about Muslim terrorists I could scream. They're like the ACLU...they're always doing despicable things for the wrong reason, and they just won't go away.

April 1, 2010

Bizarre New Sea Creature Arrives!

Just don't tell the Chinese, or else they'll say it's a delicacy and it will be extinct in no time.

March 29, 2010

I'm on the Attorney General holder Blog!

How screwed-up is that?

Ricky's gay and Spicoli's a Commie!


Come on, anyone could tell Ricky Martin was flaming? If you couldn't, you were obviously blind.

Sean Penn is a deluded communist of epic proportions, and not only did he open his stupid mouth wide enough on Bill Maher to spew sewage all over, but he helped Maher look like an even bigger gutless pinko shithead than he already did, the pseudo-intellectual arrogant self-absorbed egotistical jackoff that he is. But I digress.

What Bill "am I as important as I feel" Maher didn't call Sean Penn on was this: Penn said people are big meanies and say lies about his buddy Hugo Chavez, and "anyone that says such things should be jailed." Hmm, let me think who that reminds me of? Stalin? Pinochet? Castro? Duvalier? Mao? Kim Jong Il? Edi Amin? Saddam Hussein? The Nazis? The Chinese? Wow, what friends are these, Sean?

You see, Bill Maher should have had the guts to stop being a sniveling liberal for two minutes and say "Hey Sean, what you're saying here is people who exercise their rights to free speech under our Constitution should be thrown in jail? Really? Did Sean Penn just let us in on a glimpse of how screwed-up he really is? After all, I still remember he went over and had tea with Saddam. That from a guy that cruise the streets of New Orleans after Katrina with a shotgun. The same guy that punches-out photographers and doesn't think he deserves to be punished, but talk about his little buddy and you should go to jail ya big meanie doo doo head!

He must have congratulated Chavez after he changed his constitution by force in order to elect himself president in perpetuity, closed the TV stations and newspapers, took over the oil companies and threw 70% of his country into poverty...but hey, that's not a communist dictator any more so than in North Korea.

Maybe it's all a cover? Maybe he works for the CIA? He has to be, or else he's the biggest brown-eye on the planet. Well, next to Maher.

Nah, he really is the butthole we all think he is.

Jerseylicious is Jerseydiculous, Jerseytarded, and Jerseythetic

When will the dipshits across the river in New Yowk realize that Joizee people don't all say Joizee, Doun da Showur, Owe my Gawud, or any other stereotypical activity of Bergen or Somerset counties, which, to the assholes at MTV and E-Channel are the only places that make New Jersey...well, New Jersey. The "Real Housewives" are anything but real, spandex and camaro hair went out of style long ago, and if the point of the show is to watch uppity beeyatches argue the entire time, you hit your mark.

Now for this new batch of fucksticks. Try and get the tramp with the fake tan and the New York accent to stop saying "I'm from Joizee," "It's a Joizee thing," and so forth. Chances are this little slut's never been outside route 87. They all need to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the Breakfast Club so they can see the time warp they're stuck in. Spiked heel boots and off the shoulder sweaters? Where's the sauseech? Is that a rug on Frankie's head? I think I can see a net underneath. Forgeddaboudit.

This brings me to a diversion called The Jersey Shore. Not the place, or even the mindset, but the TV show full of Staten Island posers trying to FAKE they're from Jersey, and they do a pretty shitty job of it. Come down to South Jersey where we can actually pronounce the "er" and see how big of morons you look like.

Hey! I got a situation for the Situation. It's called a genital situation, and the Situation knows what he can do with my situation along with those guttersluts from New York on the show with him. The only one from Jersey is from Hazlet, a nice little town that from the looks of it, spawns it's fair share of little bimbos. Good thing is, all the hair gel DJ Jazzy Jagoff party boys like the one on the show and the pink polo shirt wearing Gotti guinea boys are already rounded up on an island. It's called Staten island, and someone needs to tell the TV people it's not New Jersey.

Why does MTV take outsiders and have them ACT like what they think Jersey people are like? Partly because the MTV people are a bunch of Hollywood phonies who think they should typecast rather than actually know what they're doing, and partly because they're opinion of Jersey is rather low, based soley on Bergen and Somerset. They think it's okay to insult the entire state as long as they make a few bucks.

Now we have these tacky, polyester wearing, big hair wannabe Manhattan hookers in a hair salon to represent E-Channel's idea of who and what Jersey is, and I tell you, it's freakin sad. Even Pauly Walnuts and Sill would be embarrassed by these tools. Hell, Pauly Shore would be embarrassed by them.

March 22, 2010

Four "Horse-persons" of the Apocalypse Bankrupt the US.

In late-night action, Dems gathered around their grand-dame, paying her much needed praise for finally getting off her ass and doing something since taking over Congress in 2006. Mere moments before she had to run back to her stand in the "notoriously corrupt politicians" section next to Bill Clinton at Madame Tussuad's wax museum, dems praised her for strong-arming them, belittling them, making completely un-veiled threats, and basically shined her wrinkly ass until she was sated. All the while, she stood nearby with a fake smile plastered on her cosmetically frozen face while making sure to avoid eye contact with anyone in the room. Turning her head to scan the room, a dull clicking noise could be heard along with a gutteral droning noise like Mongolian throat music. Luckily, before the wax melted into a nightmare-inducing brain-burning memory for those unfortunate enough to be watching the liberal circle-jerk, right before the assembled humanity gouged-out their own eyes, she mercifully departed.

Shortly after midnight, word came that before the government spends any more money it didn't have, our creditors (the Chinese) called and said they want their money first. In true form, democrats asked how they could be out of money if they still had blank checks in the checkbook? Steny Hoyer was heard to utter "you know when you say I'd gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today? Well, you never pay" as he giggled like a schoolgirl. At that point, the room resembled a herd of deer caught in the headlights and a collective, drawn-out "oh" was audible above the creaking of bones. The IQ level of those in attendance dropped an average of 10 points. Can you say "my name's Forrest Gump?"

During the back-slap butt-kiss Olympics witnessed after passage of the bill, not a single idiot (er, congressman) mentioned they did what they did for their constituents. It was absurdly amazing. They spoke of the "good-ole boy network" without using those words, fluffed each other publicly (well, except for Nancy. She's in her seventies and that's just gross, although she's probably better hung than the guys), and spoke of how "hard" other dems worked. All the while, they disregarded, or completely forgot they are elected representatives...apparently for a bunch of unfortunate peasants that didn't realizeb they were appointing royalty until Nancy said "let them eat cake."

Fornicate Gordon Gekko, greed is not good and this thing is going to hurt. I can only imagine what the stock market will do this week. The democratic plan looks like this:
- ignore job creation and extend unemployment benefits using money we don't have
- Let the Bush tax cuts expire in order to socialize our country, punish high earners, and redistribute wealth from the earners to the inherently lazy
- Take control of the banks
- Take control of the insurance companies
- Take control of the automakers
- Ignore the trade deficit because we're already bent over for the Chinese. Think of ways to take more money from Americans.
-Have liberal minions say "only a very small percentage of Americans will see a rise in insurance premiums," using the figure "1 in 5." Well, I know liberals hope we can't do our "cypherin," but 1 in 5 is 20%! Yep, a very small percentage indeed.
- Spend a trillion dollars on a stimulus plan that only stimulates the federal government. Why am i thinking of "fluffer-nutter?"
-Spend another trillion on health care. Write another check against an overdrawn account.

Yep, great plan. Should I burn down my house and move out of the country before the invading Chinese, the foreclosing feds, the IRS, the Orwellian thought police, ACORN, gun-control nuts or PETA come for me?

I know...if they do come for me, I can always call and get health insurance on the way to the hospital! After all, the axe in my forehead is a pre-existing condition and they don't matter any more! Oh, and using liberal logic, any injury after a car accident is pre-existing too so I guess I can cancel my car insurance now. Screw you Warren Buffet, save money on car insurance the old fashioned way...cancel it.

No more government cheese for anybody...

March 21, 2010

Hi. I'm Obama, your Cruise Director

I want to be President. All I have to do is convince people I should be President. That's it. I don't have to be able to do it, just entitled. If I can guilt people into voting for me, all the better. Imagine the guilt I can bring when re-election time comes.

Once elected, I stay on the campaign trail. Hey, it works for Obama, the "Campaigner in Chief." Either he can't find his office, is too scared to step into the big tent and piss in the tall weeds with the big dogs, or he just knows his gift of gab is his ticket to the "magic carpet ride" known as his presidency. To anyone who has ever seen the HBO series Band of Brothers, Mr. Obama is the Lieutenant Dyke of presidents.

I think Obama would make a good cruise director on a cruise ship. Hey, he gets paid to travel, talk-to and usher people around (read: community organizer), and seeing him in odd places like morning on the excursion boat or introducing La Cage aux Folles at midnight doesn't seem weird. There's no personal attribution given in any of his spoken words and to the majority of sunburned, straw-hat-wearing, got my socks on with my sandals clueless Americans who naturally gravitate to the cruise director to find out what they should do next, he has a purpose. At the end of the day, he gets to usher you back aboard even if you're not ready to go, charges you an unexpected re-entry "tax" to get back on the boat (nothing more than asset redistribution kickbacks called "tips" for the crew), and gets to blame the whole thing on the needs and policies of "the ship." When absolutely necessary, he's around. Most other times, he's a ghost. He has no real responsibility for the operation of the ship or the success of the cruise line in general and doesn't want any, but has a title that creates the appearance of responsibility, authority, experience, and it ever-so the paper tiger.

Wait! Without the part about having a purpose, the last paragraph actually sounds like Obama's current job. The most traveled President in history; no big surprise. Refer back to paragraph 2.

Hi! Welcome to the Fantasy of the Seas. I'm Barry, your Cruise Director.

World declares Americans totally clueless!

On a day-to-day basis, I put up with a host of stupid shit. From political correctness, the demise of dignity and honesty, the furtherance of the welfare state, silly drivers, testosterone-laden asswipes, devious politicians and lawyers, no corn in the commissary, no place to get a decent sandwich in this one-horse town (I'm not in Naples), no broccoli rabe in the Kroger, nothing good on TV and on and on, not to mention separation from my wife and kids because of work. Well, I mentioned it after all.

All this fades in comparison (for the next two minutes) to our country's mamby-pamby, touchy-feely insistence on lying to each other, mollycoddling each other, convincing each other that Americans have some sort of entitlement and guarding people from what they really need most...a wake-up call!!! Now people are upset that if they go into the Obama real-estate welfare bail-out program, their credit scores drop so it hurts them in trying to get loans, credit cards, etc.

What the F--K? Are you serious? Do you realize what you're saying?

REALITY CHECK: You're saying now that you're getting bailed-out by the government because you can't pay your home loan, you're mad because you can't...get another loan? Really? What the news is saying is it's bad that people who can't afford their houses can't sign up for more loans they can't afford to stack on top of the home loan they can't afford. HELLOOOOOO!!!!!! What friggin planet are you people on?

Oh, I forgot the mantra of the PC America..."we have a right to this" and "we have a right to that." Blah blah blah. I say exercise your right to remain silent, you freakin morons. Your right to force the government to skim money from the people who actually pay their bills and give to the dipshits that don't infringes on my rights and pushes a far too intrusive government even further into my life.

All this smacks of ignorance and greed. Ignorance as to how to manage your money, ignorance in not understanding the type of financial product you're buying, and ignorance in becoming far too leveraged (definition for the ignorant is you bought too much shit on credit, don't own your house or car, spend too much, and don't have any money in the mattress in case something bad happens. Everything that comes in goes back out). Greed comes in because Americans feel they're entitled to have everything they want no matter if they can afford it. They buy six-bedroom houses when they don't even have any kids, finance more than one vehicle per family, have an average of SIX credit cards (definition for the ignorant is you bought more shit than you can pay for because you're greedy). An average of six cards; think about that. Our education system must be producing masses of mindless drones that know absolutely dick about how to manage their money but fall easy prey to marketing...convinced they need every damned thing someone says they do.

I should really be able to beeyatch-slap people back into reality. It pisses me off that some of us have to carry the weight for ourselves and those that can't carry their own. Is it fair that people should be forced by the government to do that?
I say if you have a house you can't afford, a boat in the driveway on a loan you don't need next to the motorcycle you have on a loan sitting next to the jet-ski, two cars on loans (one with $2500 rims), six credit cards near their max limit, 57" flat-screen TV's and a garage filled to capacity with stuff you don't use, no money for a rainy day, no solid college fund for your kids and you're talking about how bad you need to put in a pool, all the while your gluttonous ass has gotten so fat a family of pygmies could live inside your butt-cheeks, I should be able to slap the piss out of you.

...but wait. I're entitled to be a jackass. Just don't crap on old Brainclogger.