Search This Blog

October 15, 2005

Poll: Civility Taking a Beating in America

Well no shit! If this hasn't been blatantly obvious lately, then we've all been in comas. Start with the government, our "supposed" leadership. They act like spoiled children (probably because they're all lawyers...yuck!) , speak ill of each other, lie, cheat, steal, and get away with it. They're uncivil to each other like their lives depend on it, and it makes me want to puke! These are the same people who get their asses kissed like they're some kind of royalty? I wouldn't let most of them use my bathroom.

Then look at parents these days. "My kid can beat up your kid," and all their sports bullshit metaphors like "you gotta step-up," whatever that means. People who grew up in the "live and let live" 60's, 70's, and even the 80's are parents now and they let their kids say and do whatever they want, following their lead...of course. Let's all be friends, then when your kid mouths off to an adult, you can just sit there like the castrated, powerless lump of crap you are.

I've been witness to an unholy host of bad-mouthed, poorly educated, idiots who demonstrate their utter incivility and rudeness and pass it on to their kids with wreckless abandon. I know! Let's all go get some Budweiser's and some cigarettes, then go get a tattoo, a body piercing, and then we can all cut our hair into mullets, then make everything out of denim...shorts, skirts, pants, shirts, baby clothes. My ex is turning into that. She already has the old car she races on Saturdays with the rednecks, bleaches her hair three shades of white, and if she poked-out as many times as she's been poked-in, she'd be a porcupine.

Look at our society as a whole. It's a greed-driven, have versus the have-not, you're worthy if you have money and a low-life if you don't, speak too loud and I'll sue, damn the man, I'm better than you, throw the race card, keep up with the Jones' load of bullshit. Americans care about money...and little else. And I'm over here defending their right to lead these worthless lives

Then look at the trends. There is nothing written down anywhere that says when you go into a coffee house you're suddenly someone unique and are therefore required to act like a pompous asshole. Coffee houses have been around as long as coffee, so hold the nutmeg sprinkles there kid and shut the fuck up. Your snotty look deserves a bitch slap like the little punk you are. And honey, when you're standing in the airplane aisle back to front with everyone else, waiting to get off, that cell call you're on is definitely not a private call, so you too can clamp your sewer closed.
It's just as bad here in the Middle East in the service. Officers of the same rank walk around here with their chests out (women included) and act like it's their job to not say hello or be civil. They must be too important to say hello to you, or too busy to be friendly to you. I just chalk it up to being too ignorant and anti-social to demonstrate intelligence by showing good manners to me. At least they're sure of their lack of personality...as are the rest of us.

Let's just put it this way...Good manners are a sign of intelligence (caveat: there are lots of intelligent assclowns), and poor manners are a demonstration of stupidity. Right now, our country is looking pretty stupid.

Brainclogger

October 12, 2005

A letter from a friend of the Roosevelt's

Dear Friends:

Many years ago in Seattle, two wonderful neighbors, Elliott and Patty Roosevelt came to my home to swim on a regular basis. They were a great couple full of laughter and stories that today I continue to marvel at. Both are now deceased, but their stories remain. During the years of our friendship we had many, many discussions about his parents (President Franklin D. and Eleanor Roosevelt) and how his father and mother never intended for the Social Security and Welfare programs to turn out the way they are today. Elliott used to say that if his mother returned to earth and saw what the politicians had done to their programs she would have burned all of them in hell.

Here is a story I received today regarding the Social Security Program and I immediately thought of Elliott's comments. Hope you will read this and think about it. Margaret

Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the Social Security (FICA) Program. He promised:

1.) That participation in the Program would be completely voluntary,

2.) That the participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1,400 of their annual incomes into the Program,

3.) That the money the participants elected to put into the Program would be deductible from their income for tax purposes each year,

4.) That the money the participants put into the independent "Trust Fund" rather than into the General operating fund, and therefore, would only be used to fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no other Government program, and,

5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees would never be taxed as income.

Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and are now receiving a Social Security check every month -- and then finding that we are getting taxed on 85% of the money we paid to the Federal government to "put away," you may be interested in the following:

Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the independent "Trust" fund and put it into the General fund so that Congress could spend it?

A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically controlled House and Senate.

Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?

A: The Democratic Party.

Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?

A: The Democratic Party, with Al Gore casting the "tie-breaking" deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of the U.S.

AND MY FAVORITE:

Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving annuity payments to immigrants?

A: That's right! Jimmy Carter and the Democratic Party. Immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65, began to receive Social Security payments! The Democratic Party gave these payments to them, even though they never paid a dime into it!

Then, after doing all this lying and thieving and violation of the original contract (FICA), the Democrats turn around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social Security away! And the worst part about it is, uninformed citizens believe it!

Brainclogger

October 11, 2005

Living in my own head...

Sitting here in the midst of a ridiculously irritating day, with staff officers running around like crazy people, I put on some Journey over the headphones as I sat at my laptop. It's funny how music can bring you back to times you loved, where everything was easy, and there was so much promise for you. I went back to when I was 16. It was summer time in Sea Isle City, New Jersey. The Jersey Shore, the greatest place in the world.

I can see everything like I'm living it again. My best friend Dave and I going to the surf shop in his beat-up Toyota Corolla, my feet out the window, crossed on top of the rear-view mirror. I remember throwing mini-pretzels out the window seeing if I can get them into the open windows of cars parked along the street. We didn't worry about what we were to become. We didn't worry about anything. We just lived... Journey was on the radio then too...

I remember long surfing sessions, followed by grilling Dietz and Watson hot dogs on the grill on my front deck overlooking the beach. I can see four of us in our wetsuits, stuffed into the outside shower trying to warm-up after surfing for five hours. I can see the day Dave met his wife, both of them looking so young. To me, they still haven’t changed. I can watch my friend Tom at his back-deck birthday party, he and his brother Frank, Dave, Jimmy, Tim, Andy, and Al looking just like any surfer you'd see in California.

I remember five of us, with two bikes and a skateboard, making our way uptown to the boardwalk arcade. I can hear Journey playing at the Spectrum in Philadelphia the first time I saw them. I can hear "Faithfully," and see the people standing, arm in arm, swaying to the music and singing. It was great. We were immortal at that moment. It's a moment caught in time that will never return, except in my mind, and in my heart. Those that are gone now are still there. I see them. Good thing army majors don't cry.

It's funny how things change. Who knew that party was two months before Tommy would be killed in a car accident, and after the funeral, we would never see Al again. Jaye joined him a year later, followed by John when I was in my twenties. Jimmy moved to California, Frank to Hawaii, for all intents and purposes, I left when I was 18. Dave's still there, so is Andy, but his grandmother, who treated me as one of her own, is gone, and his house was torn down. So was Andy’s. Others break contact out of misunderstandings or things others told them, like my old friend Joey. Then there comes a time in life where you have to put childish things down, and not speak of them again.

I see them now every couple years, but Dave and I still have a weird radar where he can tell when I come to town. I miss those guys, and those times. Times before the reality of 25 more years came. Marriages, divorces, kids, brothers you don’t speak to, it's all part of life. So are the people...all in their own way I guess. Some of them moved away; some found other friends and other lives; some died. But some are still there at the shore. They're our anchors. They keep the history and the memories in place for the rest of us.

We owe them...

Brainclogger...

The Associated Press is a bunch of Hacks!!!

Look at the earlier entry about the guy that got his ass whooped in New Orleans. These AP retards are purposely trying to stir up trouble. Look at the article. The majority of it is a copy of the older article, with some new stuff just pasted in. What's the matter? News reporter too unimaginative to write her own story?

Okay, we get it...the guy was black. Okay, we get it, the cops were white. I hear you, you don't need to say it again. I still don't think the blood was streaming down his arm and into the gutter...but you said it again.

These AP reporters probably watch the news on TV and then write the articles third-hand, then the editors just cut-and-paste from article to article due to an EXTREME lack of creativity. This way they can stretch them out and make people think they're producing more news when they're actually producing a whole lot of jack-shit!

Yes, I could do it better.

Brainclogger

October 10, 2005

Pulmonary Hypertension

Pulmonary Hypertension...also known as hyperventilating. I just realized I do this about once every week. Once a week when I'm trying to get my son on the phone, realizing I'm going to have to speak to the ex.

Take for example this week. I call on the house line, and the phone "magically" hangs-up after three rings. I call back on the same line, only to have it ring 10 times. I call her cell phone, and what happens? I have to hear her bullshit answer message where first she still uses my last name (which is like kicking me in the crotch with a steel boot), but then she utters the ridiculous phrase "your call is very important to me." Man I hate that!

So I leave a message...what the hell else am I going to do. As I hang up, I realize I've sucked in all the air around me, my chest is fully expanded, and yet I feel like I didn't get enough of a breath! So I keep trying, and my chest keeps tightening, and I think about how I used to think my ex was keeping my son from talking to me, but now I know! and I keep trying to get a full breath, but I already have one, but I'm not satisfied, so I'm sitting bolt-upright trying to pull my chest in so I can feel my lungs are fully expanded. Then comes the headache. Nice. Now that my chest muscles and rib cage are fully expanded, I can count on this feeling for another couple hours.

I've been to Iraq in a mortar attack and I barely raised my heartbeat. 85 jumps and this never happened. The only other time was when I was in an officer school and my son was about a week from being born. Now it happens simply because the anxiety I feel knowing I have to speak to that lousy whore ex-wife of mine is of such a level as to cause a physical response.

That sucks... I wonder how important my call would be if I stopped the 865 dollar checks?

Brainclogger

Police charged in beating in New Orleans

Now that's a damn shame. No, not that they beat someone up, but that cops are no longer able to throw someone a beating in order to keep the peace, or to subdue someone obviously resisting. In the words of Chris Rock, "If the police have to come get you, they're bringing an ass-kicking with them." Well, apparently not any more. They're not allowed... That's a shame, because sometimes dishing out some pain keeps everyone else who sees it in line. Send those officers to sensitivity training!

What may be worse here, is the author of the article is being clearly melodramatic. What's the matter Honey, not used to violence? she described the man as having "blood streaming down his arm and into the gutter." I don't think it was, but it sounds good.

Then a news photographer from got a poke in the gut and was yelled at. Horrifying! To think, he was yelled at...wow! Talk about violence! What's next? Maybe he'll stand in the corner for a "time out?" But I guess that's too harsh also...

Then I see the following paragraph, which astonished me in its level of bullshit: "Davis, who is black, was subdued at the intersection of Conti and Bourbon streets. Three of the officers appeared to be white, and the other is light skinned. The officer who hit Matthews is white. Defillo (the police spokesman) said race was not an issue."

Are you shitting me Mary? Of course race is an issue, because you just made it one! The sad thing is, people wouldn't be so pissed off about this if they weren't further inflamed by assholes like you! Why is the skin color of a police officer important when it's taking FOUR OF THEM to make an arrest on ONE BLACK MAN? If the man didn't resist, he wouldn't be subdued. If Rodney King didn't race through town at 125 miles-per-hour and then resist arrest, he wouldn't have had four cops with their adrenal glands on full-blast pissed-off at him! Arrrghhh! Liberals like you make me crazy.

They say the New Orleans police have a history of brutality and corruption? Let me just ask a wild question. What do you think the percentage of white officers is in the New Orleans police department? I bet you it's less than a third. Funny thing though, if the cops were black, we probably wouldn't have even seen the report, because it wouldn't exist.

Oh, and as for feeling bad for the cops living on a cruise ship and working 5 12-hour days... I live in the desert, and work 6 14-hour days, followed by a 10-hour day on the seventh day. Poor little police have to work long hours. Please. At least you're home and have a new Cadillac.

Brainclogger

October 9, 2005

You know what sucks???

...when you are deployed to the Middle East, and you are worrying about back home. You worry about here, about home, they worry about your being here, about what's going on there, etc. But at home, no one is carrying a gun around them besides the police. No one is talking about Explosive Formed Projectiles, Vehicle-borne Improved Explosive Devices, or that type of thing.

I know somewhere out there, someone hears "go out there and kick some ass, we'll be fine at home," or concentrate on what you have to do so you don't screw it up," or some other kind of motivation from home, but that's not what the people around me are getting. They hear whining and bitching from girlfriends how hard they have it teaching kindergarten, how tough their "weekend" was (I forgot what a weekend was a while ago), how they have to take care of the kids, how stressful it is in grad school, or how rough their work-week was, etc. Some of it borders on ridiculous considering our present location and situation. Why so many Americans need so much emotional support is also ridiculous. Are we overly-praised, overly pampered, and narcissistic? Probably.

Part of me understands what happens, especially if there is a leader in the family that's away. Another part of me, however, considers it an ego thing. Women (and generals) are by and large overly concerned about themselves, regardless of their awareness of that fact. Take for example, my ex wife. She is apparently taking this opportunity to make sure I have almost no contact with my son, who lives with her. What does that do? Puts mental stress on me. She is guilty of having to be praised at every moment of the day or else she risks feeling unappreciated, and non-validated. She apparently has another new boyfriend (I should say another new temporary boyfriend) who hasn't tired of her bullshit or poor sexual performance yet. It looks like she's taking the time to involve my son in that relationship so that she can make herself feel good about herself somehow, so contact with me is something she sees as a bother or something my son doesn't need. If I stopped the child support, she'd suddenly get real interested in contacting me. But enough about me.

I have soldiers with parents and grandparents in the hospital, wives having children, one kid in the hospital, one guy in the middle of a divorce when he left, and they spend as much time worrying about that as they do what they're mission is over here. Problem is, they have that luxury, since none of them are carrying guns through the streets of Baghdad, but taking their eye off the ball can interrupt support to those carrying guns in the streets, and that's a bad thing.

Did you ever get the feeling...

...that you worked for some complete morons? I mean, there are a lot of smart people around me, but then again, there are also some complete retards, who need to be eliminated before they either 1. get someone killed, or even worse, 2. Breed.

Now I understand the job may be a bit unusual, and that it carries with it a sense of duty, and a feeling you're protecting others' rights, be it true or not. What I don't get though, are the people who say "I do this job because it's fun." Those are the assholes I worry about, like they're saying that to convince themselves everything is fine and they shouldn't go suck on a gun barrel... What lives do these retards lead on the outside anyway? Usually, the "hey I love it here" guys are the same ones who work 14 hour days back in the states doing nothing other than breathing the air in their office in the mistaken belief that nothing can wait until tomorrow. I know their wives and kids don't think that! Losers... Go home! What the fuck is keeping you here all damn night? Go collect those military models on your own time! Guess what? Your family might want to go to the beach this weekend instead of watching you go reenact the battle of Vicksburg! Dork!

I wonder about the mere function of the inner workings of some of their noggins. Some of them act like they're perpetually "stuck on stupid," yet their ass-kissing skills seem to be honed to a razor's edge. It's Weird.

I hear an old song in my head sometimes. The first few verses go "You're kind of stuck where you are, but in your dreams you can buy expensive cars, live on Mars, and have it your way. You hate your boss at your job, but in your dreams, you can blow his head off, in your dreams you show no mercy." I hear this song when I get frustrated at the incredibly stupid questions I get asked at work sometimes...from apparently experienced military "professionals." I hear it when I realize we're doing something the hard way just because "that's the way it's always been done." I also get nuts when I see how grown men try to act like "Mr. Tough Guy" around here, instead of dropping the testosterone-laden horse-shit and just being civil. I've seen senior people just flat act the fool, like no matter who they were, they could say whatever they wanted to whomever they pleased. If they said to me what I've seen them say to other people, they would have gotten a "who the fuck do you think you're talking to" from me. Having rank is one thing, but just being an ass is another. Some people with zero people skills and partially functioning personalities are successful in the Army, and it makes me insane!

Good thing is, I know this, I have the self awareness to realize all this is not important, and I should just concentrate on the mission. Sometimes though, I can't believe how big of jerkoffs some of these people are!

In the end, it's not how many years you donated to the man. It's the people you met and the person you smiled at this morning, the one you offered a cup of coffee to, or the one you held the door for. A wise man once told me, "work for the Army, but live in the real world, because if you marry the army (like so many people do), one day you'll wake up and realize you married a whore that was just using you.

Kind of like my ex...

Brainclogger.

India Quake Survivors Complain of Slow Aid

India Quake Survivors Complain of Slow Aid...Blame George Bush. Hours later, President Bush emerged into the Rose Garden and proceeded to take the blame for it, just like the blame he took for the relief effort for Hurricane Katrina.

Of course, taking the blame for Katrina is about as ridiculous as doing it for the Indian Earthquake. However, MARK MY WORDS, the democrats will figure out how to use the Indian Earthquakes against him.

The next thing you know, President Bush will be accused of being the "second Gunman" on the grassy knoll, and admit to it, democrats will plant a muddy shovel on Air Force One, assert Jesse Jackson's claim that he broke the levee in New Orleans on purpose, and he'll admit to that, saying he worked alone and no one saw him leave Crawford in his pickup truck. Then the President will admit that Al Gore invented the internet, he killed Webster Hubble, and he paid Monica Lewinsky to take a shot from Slick Willy because Paula Jones cost him a lot of money and proved to be useless...

The president's advisors are so snake-bit and suspect right now they'd advise him to take the blame for Chappaquiddick, a crack-whore's case of the crabs, birdshit on the windshield, beach erosion, snow, darkness after sunset, red traffic lights, Apollo 1 and 13, lottery losers, the Challenger, Elvis' death, John Kerry's hairstyle, beer-farts, and the common cold...

Brainclogger

October 7, 2005

Cleric sees Bali Bombing as sign from God

...And I see the cleric as sign you can't swing a dead cat above your head in the Muslim world and not hit an asshole. They keep on bombing, and they keep on saying how great it is. The lead clerics ignore it and attack us, and foreigners in Iraq, Bali, England, wherever, continue to terrorize innocent people while other Muslims stand by and let it happen. Don't tell me Islam is a peaceful religion unless you want an ass kicking... Why else would we all be on alert during Ramadan?

Brainclogger

Take a look at this asswipe!

This dipshit blew himself up on a park bench outside the OU football game, an act of suicide because he apparently couldn't take anyone else with him. Where do we breed these idiots?

I have a better idea...they can all respond to this posting and I can have someone come over with a baseball bat and end their misery for them.

Brainclogger

Lord of the Anal Ring


Now look at the picture of Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom. It isn't enough that Bloom already looks a bit "poofy" with those faggy sideburns, but if old Viggo (who needs an Italian last name like Scungilli or Carbonara instead of Mortensen) isn't trying to plant a smacker on cutie-pie Orlando, then what's the deal? Plus, Viggo doesn't look so good.

Brainclogger

Commercial Fisherman's reality check...

Guess what guys, here's the truth, from a Florida fisherman....

...you're fighting over a resource you don't own. If a species takes years to grow to "marketable" size, and you take them out in too drastic a number, they will go away.

Want another reality check? Okay. Everywhere the commercial fishing of a species has been controlled...the fish came back. Everywhere! Look at the results of the Florida net ban, the mackerel management plan, and up north at the Striped Bass recovery just to see a few.

The odd thing is, you all get so greedy and competitive against one another, you forget there are other people out there. Some people, myself included, no longer bottom fish with any regularity. Part of the reason is I'm currently deployed to the middle east, but there are a couple others:

-You don't see the numbers of fish you used to see. I didn't catch a Red Grouper anywhere near keeper size in 2004. I only kept one Gag Grouper all year.

-Guides taking people fishing and others who don't know bow from stern act like assholes. You have to all share a patch of reef or spoil area, but they get so damn competitive for space it takes the fun out of it. It went from days where everyone applauded if someone caught something good, to "fuck you this is my spot!" I didn't become a fisherman to deal with stress and idiots.

-Groupers have predators in the form of Jewfish (the politically incorrect but real name of the Goliath Grouper), which eat everything in sight, and have become plentiful, yet are still protected. One pain-in-the-ass Jewfish bit almost every time I was on a certain spot.

-bottom fishing is pretty boring and only needs a minimum of skill. I prefer sight casting.

-I'm a catch-and-release fisherman who fishes for the fun of it. If I fished merely for meat, it would turn fishing into the nautical version of the aviator's "$100 hamburger." With how much boats cost now, unless you're entering and winning tournaments, guiding clients, or using commercial gear, you will never recover anywhere near the cost of the boat by the amount of fish you catch or revenue produced, so stop trying.

As for you commercial fisherman, take it easy on the resource, offer your "bycatch" to a recreational fisherman, and don't ever let me catch you "finning" sharks or you will receive a beating that will teach you not to do it again. If you need some discipline, I'll give it to you.

Brainclogger...

Interesting thing today

I noticed that first, my predictions about the aftermath of the hurricane (printed on 2 SEP) came true.

Second, I saw that Kurt Vonnegut, who was a prisoner of war during WWII, said "American soldiers in the Middle East are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas."

I tend to agree...and it scares me because Vonnegut is a lefty...

He said some interesting things in a Yahoo article today. Clink on the link to see it.

Brainclogger

We need more monuments...like we need ...

...well, like we need more kinds of deodorants, or feminine hygiene products. Yep, we don't have enough so make some new deodorant fragrances that make people smell like their surroundings. Instead of Ocean Breeze or Summer Surf or any of that bullshit, go for some realism with Trash-Truck tropical (for garbage haulers), Municipal Utility Authority Apple (MUA Apple for short at the shit-plant), Jet Fuel Fresh (for people who work at the airport), Exotic Exhaust Pipe (for commuters and taxi-drivers), combined with more subtle things like Wetland White Out (with the smell of the marshes and office products), Copy-Paper Potpourri, Candy Carpet-Glue (it masks the smell of cigarettes and booze really well), and Urinal Cake Cherry (when you know you like the smell of the bathroom, and want to take it with you)!

As for the feminine hygiene products...wait..I digress...I'm supposed to be talking about monuments, right? Oh, okay...

Now coming to a mall near you...well, a mall not near you, but in the city you pay for with a mall that goes from the Jefferson Memorial to the Capital building. A mall where you can't buy a damn thing but more of your money is spent there than anywhere else on the planet. Money spent by governmental dipshits who wouldn't know the first thing about paying their bills; a hard day's work; defending their country, or living in the real world.

Well, now these knuckleheads feel the need for yet another memorial. Jeez! What now? Well, it's supposed to be a "Victims of Communism" memorial. Whew! Man, am I relieved! I thought they were going to skip that one! You know with Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Vietnam Women's memorial, the Buffalo soldier, the Unknown soldier, The Holocaust, and about 10 others, it's a good thing they got this one in while there was space!

I know you're thinking about what to plan for next, so I thought I'd offer a few more ideas...just in case.

- The Honest Politician Memorial. This one is self-explanatory, and actually should have been erected some time last century.
- The "Illegal Aliens" memorial- dedicated to all the bad treatment illegal aliens received under the hands of the mean old Immigration and Naturalization Service. It's a stone likeness of "Elian 'Alien' Gonzalez."
- The "Victims of Erectile Dysfunction" memorial- dedicated to all those people, mostly minorities, who were unable to achieve an erection due to a vast right-wing government conspiracy. Paid for by cutting the benefit to welfare recipients who don't have jobs but can get free Viagra.
- The "Victims of the Scurvy" memorial, which by politically correct inclusion also includes those who died from Rickets, cleft palate, hydro-cephaly (water on the brain), and Elephantitis in the US. This will be funded by the Navy, who were planning to use the money for another Filipina pedicurist at the Navy Annex.
-The Day We Killed all the Oil Company Presidents" Memorial. This one can have it's own little oil gusher and miniature people gathered around the entrance to a fictitious oil company, reminiscent of the people that came to the castle to kill Frankenstein. The government would have to employ at least 10 people to make sure no oil was spilled, or no people stole it to take home and refine in their little home refineries since the oil companies can't build any.
- The "Day China Bought Washington" Monument, commemorated by a Panda Express stand at the new Mao Tse Tung Memorial...formerly the Jefferson Memorial.
-"The Day the Music Died" memorial, a monument to the day(February 3, 1959) Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper died in a plane crash. A loop of Don McLeans "Miss American Pie" will play 24 hours a day.
-The Ray Nagin "Wasn't my Fault" memorial, dedicated to 30 years of corrupt black rule in New Orleans followed by the ability to blame all your failures on that "White Devil" George Bush. A loop of the Shaggy song "Wasn't me" will play 24 hours a day. The self-guided tour is said to be "versheazy" and described as the "shiznit!"
-The Fisherman's Memorial"- This memorial is triple purpose, serving as a memorial to all the species of ocean fishes that were fished out of existence by foreign countries in our waters, while our government didn't have the balls to do anything about it. The second purpose is to commemorate the government's "bold" act of renaming fisherman into "fisherperson," so as to not offend women. The last is the when the women attacked the congress building claiming the name was changed right after there were no more fish to catch." As they attacked, one person heard the utterance of the term "dicks" in reference to some politicians, but none of them responded to that for fear of "offending someone."
-The "Sharp Instrument" memorial- Due to product liability lawsuits, all sharp instruments, to include thumb-tacks and disposable razors, will no longer be produced in the very near future. This memorial scheduled to go next to the "American Hunter," "American Gun Owner," and "Hot Coffee" and "Baseball Bat" memorials. Baseball bats will be labeled as deadly weapons in 2007 following the bludgeoning murder of Bruce Springsteen at the Democratic National Convention.
-The Yugo Memorial- commemorates the introduction and failure of the Yugoslavian "Yugo" in the US, where a whopping 200 were sold. Monument is an actual Yugo for sale.

Brainclogger

October 4, 2005

Why Texas didn't have any looters after Hurricane Rita

Anti-gun Brady Bunch people flat-out lying...

Take a look at the picture in the link. It is a bold faced, flat-out, Liberal lie. No one is in greater danger in Florida as a result of the new "castle" law other than criminals

The poster actually says "use special caution when arguing with motorists on Florida roads." Hey dumbass! I have a better idea! Why don't you NOT argue with motorists! It's called road rage, dipshit, and it gets people killed! Why don't you plan on coming to Florida and actually acting civil for once in your life, eh? You don't have the right or luxury of having a pass that lets you come down and be an ass...

The new law states that if you are somewhere you have a legal right to be (read: your home, on the street, in your yard), and someone attacks you, it is now legally assumed they have the intent to cause you bodily harm or death. In such a case, you are no longer required to flee (which you still are in other states), but are now able (since lawmakers in Florida understand your rights) to actually defend yourself without fear the perpetrator will put YOU in jail for hurting him.

I know, it sounds too ridiculous to be true, but the liberals are so involved with criminal rights, it pisses them off that Floridians no longer have to run out of their own homes in order to flee an attacker for fear of going to jail. Now those idiots in the Brady bunch are doing what libs do best...just plain lying to you. Sinners...

I know, criminals on vacation have rights too...

Brainclogger

The Plan for America.

A friend of mine sent me an email which apparently had Robin Williams offering his plan for America. I realize this is tongue-in-cheek stuff from a comedian, but it makes sense to me...

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their> affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys', we will never "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement, or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen, or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is> ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
11) The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?'

Brainclogger

October 3, 2005

Greed is not good...


Don't you just love how greed in this country got us where we are? We were attacked because we're greedy and believe in nothing but money. We have an oil crisis going on because we're controlled by the oil companies who will do whatever they can to maintain control of our country. We had to keep making big cars for greedy Americans. We watch foreign companies drive American companies under while the American company employees strike because they want more money, not even wondering if a job with less pay is better than no job. We see baseball players act like babies unless they make 200 million a year, basketball players making millions fighting people in the stands, while paramedics and cops make under 45K a year. All the while, I spend another year away from my kid to protect the rights of people to act like greedy idiots.

Tom DeLay and the 5 Monkeys

Five monkeys are put in a cage. From the center of the cage, a banana hangs from a rope. A ladder is nearby. After a while, the monkeys figure out they can get the banana using the ladder. After putting the ladder under the hanging fruit, they begin to climb the ladder and are immediately doused with cold water. After a while, the monkeys try again and are doused again with water. Fairly soon if any monkey gets near the ladder, the rest attack them for fear of being hit with more water. One monkey is removed for a new one, who gets near the ladder and is immediately attacked by the others. Another is removed, and when that one gets near the ladder, it is attacked by the other monkeys including the monkey that just came in. After a while, all the monkeys are replaced, so no monkeys sit in the cage that have ever been sprayed with water, but every time one of them gets near the ladder, they all get sprayed with water. They don't know why they do it, but that's what they were taught, that's how it has always been done, and that's the environment they found themselves in.

What if the monkeys were our politicians? What would they do? They're practically swimming in bananas, yet they still fight each other for more. They hide bananas and try to get more while acting like they don't have any. If they see someone else with a banana, they ridicule that monkey and try to take that banana away. If everyone else gets bananas, they bully the others, take their bananas, and keep them for themselves. Do they ever give some bananas to the people that put them in the cage? No. Do they give bananas to the other monkeys in the cage? No, and they ridicule the ones that do. They still attack the ones that try to climb the "ladder." Do they act this way because it's the right thing to do? No. They do it because that's the way it's always been done. Besides, it's better to be the "big monkey in charge," than one of the new guys.

You know, I don't care if the latest mud thrown on Congressman DeLay is valid or not, he needs to go. He is a blatant example of the good-old boy, corrupt, 5-monkey political system we have here, where there''s the way it should be, and the way it is.

Mr words to him: Guess what asshole...the people didn't elect you in order for you to line your pockets, but you're doing a good job milking the rest of the country for their gain! They may call you the "Teflon Texan," but I have a better word... Dick.

Brainclogger