Remember that show? An animated comedy program where celebrities meet each other in the ring?
With the rising popularity of mixed-martial arts, the Ultimate Fighting Championships and World Extreme Cage fighting, I think they need to bring it back, but make it real this time.
Wouldn't you love to see Eastwood put George Clooney in a choke hold? Vin Diesel ground-and-pound Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, or Ben Affleck? How about Ryan Reynolds lay the smackdown on Kal Penn? Come-on, you know you'd like to see that. How about Denis Leary in a match with Jon Bon Jovi?
I'd like to see the "battle of the Matthew's." McConaughey versus Damon versus Dillon versus Modine versus Broderick...all at once.
How about Brad Pitt putting the Moi-Tai death grip on Jack Black? Reaching back to yesteryear, Robert Downey Jr. versus Andrew McCarthy, Matthew Broderick versus Jon Cryer, and the ultimate in getting even, Emilio Estevez against his brother Charlie Sheen. It would be great!
How about Patrick Dempsey against Rob Lowe? C. Thomas Howell against anyone he chooses? Paybacks are a bitch! Judge Reinhold against Judd Nelson with Molly Ringwald as the girl holding the cards for each round!
What about battle of the pretty boys? Keanu versus Johnny Depp? Even better, has-been Richard Grieco against Depp in a grudge match! I'm not talking slap-stick Three Stooges-style action, but inside the octagon throwing down! Nick Nolte versus Gary Busey! Now there's a freak show! Mel Gibson versus Kevin Costner.
Wouldn't it be nice to see Vince Neil get some payback? Joe Perry finally slap-down Steven Tyler? You know he wants to. I got it! Sting versus Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland! Justin Timberlake against the rest of his old boy-band.
David Caruso against Jimmy Smits! Yep, revenge for NYPD Blue. Come on, let's get creative. Has-been Hasselhoff against has-been David Chokachi. Mark Wahlberg against his brother...hey, Band of Brothers doesn't make up for being a Backstreet Boy.
Bill Maher versus Glenn Beck?
Tell me who you'd like to see.
Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts
February 22, 2010
February 13, 2010
The Hypocrits of Haitian Relief
Yep, Ben Stiller spent a bunch of time in Haiti. Yeah, yeah. He looked so clueless I almost felt bad for the guy. Madonna? Come on, if Madonna ever went there, she would have adopted some of them instead of searching the Congo for rental offspring. The "Billion-Dollar Man," Steven Speilberg "donated" time to ask ordinary Americans for $10 bucks a pop? Wow! Say it isn't so! Such a benevolent act...I think I'm about to vomit.
I think this goes back to my problem with "celebrities," and the f'd-up priorities people have around here. I can bet people made calls to the event for the sheer possibility of speaking to someone like Julia Roberts. If old Brainclogger called, he would have given the candy-ass, primadonna Hollywood types a tongue lashing about sticking their hands into their gold-lined pockets and kicking-in some of their own dough instead of being the hypocrites they are. I'd like to see a number of them thrown into the octagon with Kimbo and Silva! If they can reach into their wallets before they succumb to the rear naked choke, they only have to donate half the required amount.
You could tell some of the performers only did it to get a chance to be seen on TV, as a couple of the songs may not have been appropriate to the event. Also funny how the 20-million-per-picture crowd sat quietly answering the phone. In the end, the event raised $64 million. If a few of the A-list made a decent contribution they could have done that on their own...but they didn't. Well, reportedly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie forked over seven figures with no fanfare, proving some of them can actually count. However, that's a pittance to them and they know it. Don't even get me started on that bleeding-hearted hypocrit Springsteen. (Hey Bruce! As a side note, please don't send the Haitians any copies of Diesel and Dust...the last thing we need is a mass suicide)
Enough about this. Oh, and whatever my issue is with these hypocritical ass-wipes...Kid Rock was still cool.
I think this goes back to my problem with "celebrities," and the f'd-up priorities people have around here. I can bet people made calls to the event for the sheer possibility of speaking to someone like Julia Roberts. If old Brainclogger called, he would have given the candy-ass, primadonna Hollywood types a tongue lashing about sticking their hands into their gold-lined pockets and kicking-in some of their own dough instead of being the hypocrites they are. I'd like to see a number of them thrown into the octagon with Kimbo and Silva! If they can reach into their wallets before they succumb to the rear naked choke, they only have to donate half the required amount.
You could tell some of the performers only did it to get a chance to be seen on TV, as a couple of the songs may not have been appropriate to the event. Also funny how the 20-million-per-picture crowd sat quietly answering the phone. In the end, the event raised $64 million. If a few of the A-list made a decent contribution they could have done that on their own...but they didn't. Well, reportedly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie forked over seven figures with no fanfare, proving some of them can actually count. However, that's a pittance to them and they know it. Don't even get me started on that bleeding-hearted hypocrit Springsteen. (Hey Bruce! As a side note, please don't send the Haitians any copies of Diesel and Dust...the last thing we need is a mass suicide)
Enough about this. Oh, and whatever my issue is with these hypocritical ass-wipes...Kid Rock was still cool.
Where are the "Quotation Marks?"
"Celebrity" Rehab. The word "celebrity" should have quotation marks, but it doesn't. Look at the "D" list "celebrities" they refer to on "Celebrity" Rehab, and quotes become even more justifiable. Dennis "pin-cushion" Rodman? Rodney King? Heidi "what the hell did I do to my lips" Fleiss? Bridget "rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" Nielsen? Wow! I guess the A-list celebrities either do better drugs, have better doctors, or pay their publicists enough to not sell their clients out to a tacky, pathetic, reality show about how screwed-up their gravy train is. Maybe that's a testament to the trustworthiness of people that represent "celebrities," or maybe an indication of the ridiculousness of the whole "celebrity" thing in the first place.
Who are we calling "celebrities" in this instance? Singers, actors, a former whore (come-on, "madam's" don't start out as madam's), models...basically people who wouldn't be missed if they just went away. In that world, there's someone ready at any time to take your place in the "celebrity" mill of Hollywood. So "starved" for attention, they'll take any sort of "interest" in them, even at their lowest point. Apparently they don't realize that after a life of "look at me, look at me," there comes a point when you really don't want someone to look.
Maybe the rehab show is made up by "higher profile" people as a deterrent in order to have something where they can look at a guy like Tom Sizemore and say "wow, poor bastard, better him than me." If you want people to say "wow, people that have so much money they can live in a "rehab center," looking either for pity or to squeeze the last bit of coin out of their fleeting "celebrity," ...you're doing a good job. I say "take a baseball bat to all of you." Fame, fortune, and a life of privilege, but with a mind too weak to handle it. Old Brainclogger would love to feel the need to "handle" having money and adoration thrown at him. I bet my "anger management" issues with "celebrity" losers would lighten-up a bit. Or maybe not.
I know! A show called "Celebrity Downward Spiral," where you chronicle a "celebrity's" self-destruction. Go all the way from where they soil themselves on whatever drug they feel is important enough to trade for their self respect, have all their expensive crap repossessed, find out who they thought of as a friend thought of them as a meal ticket, ending in a dramatic climax where your last performance would be "etched" into the minds of people...for at least for 30 seconds. Some ideas include: a leap from a bridge holding an anvil and dressed like Bugs Bunny;a swim with sharks with a dead seal tied to your leg;stepping into a cage full of starving Rottweilers with a raw t-bone tied around their neck;skydiving with golf umbrella as a parachute, trying to outrun an avalanche (quite the metaphor for a drug addiction), painting yourself as an American flag and streaking through the Haj; dressing as a terrorist and taking a dump on the hood of a car on the starting line of a NASCAR race while yelling "rednecks are all fags"; or getting caught in the rope on an episode of "Deadliest Catch?" Now that's "entertainment"---in quotation marks.
Who are we calling "celebrities" in this instance? Singers, actors, a former whore (come-on, "madam's" don't start out as madam's), models...basically people who wouldn't be missed if they just went away. In that world, there's someone ready at any time to take your place in the "celebrity" mill of Hollywood. So "starved" for attention, they'll take any sort of "interest" in them, even at their lowest point. Apparently they don't realize that after a life of "look at me, look at me," there comes a point when you really don't want someone to look.
Maybe the rehab show is made up by "higher profile" people as a deterrent in order to have something where they can look at a guy like Tom Sizemore and say "wow, poor bastard, better him than me." If you want people to say "wow, people that have so much money they can live in a "rehab center," looking either for pity or to squeeze the last bit of coin out of their fleeting "celebrity," ...you're doing a good job. I say "take a baseball bat to all of you." Fame, fortune, and a life of privilege, but with a mind too weak to handle it. Old Brainclogger would love to feel the need to "handle" having money and adoration thrown at him. I bet my "anger management" issues with "celebrity" losers would lighten-up a bit. Or maybe not.
I know! A show called "Celebrity Downward Spiral," where you chronicle a "celebrity's" self-destruction. Go all the way from where they soil themselves on whatever drug they feel is important enough to trade for their self respect, have all their expensive crap repossessed, find out who they thought of as a friend thought of them as a meal ticket, ending in a dramatic climax where your last performance would be "etched" into the minds of people...for at least for 30 seconds. Some ideas include: a leap from a bridge holding an anvil and dressed like Bugs Bunny;a swim with sharks with a dead seal tied to your leg;stepping into a cage full of starving Rottweilers with a raw t-bone tied around their neck;skydiving with golf umbrella as a parachute, trying to outrun an avalanche (quite the metaphor for a drug addiction), painting yourself as an American flag and streaking through the Haj; dressing as a terrorist and taking a dump on the hood of a car on the starting line of a NASCAR race while yelling "rednecks are all fags"; or getting caught in the rope on an episode of "Deadliest Catch?" Now that's "entertainment"---in quotation marks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)