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August 14, 2018

HMS Titanic: The Do-Over: Hell No, I Won't Go!

At least two different organizations are building real, life-size, exact replicas of the original ship. One was Blue Star Lines, not to be confused with White Star Line. The other is a Chinese billionaire (an oxymoron and paradox in a so-called, yet surely for-show Communist country.). Yeah, China's as communist as Donald Trump's an Arab. It's called slave labor for those that supply the unwashed masses at Wal-Mart...but I digress. So I ask you, if the replica ship was going to re-do the original voyage, would you go? Not me, brother. No way, no how. Well, not unless I was trying to die. We never learn, do we. Talk about a Jinx. They should rename the boat the SS Jonah. It reeks of the stink eye, bad juju, voodoo, bad omen, a pox on passengers, the hairy eyeball, hex, whammy, malediction, distress, plague, doom, and agony to spare. No thanks. I can see it hitting another iceberg and then, magically, people would say "well, what did they expect" or "see, I told you so," and people would laugh at the way you perished more ironically than Patches O'Houlihan getting crushed by the "Luck of the Irish" sign in the Movie Dodgeball. Nah, I'd rather bet against the ship. What's next? 9/11 World Trade Center, The Ride at Universal Studios? Or "Ebola Outbreak; Death Village" in IMAX 3D? I could get worse, but I won't. Nevertheless, a ride on another Titanic? Not for me. Nope. Where once it was the Unsinkable Molly Brown, there will be the Unsinkable Brainclogger...

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