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March 29, 2010

Jerseylicious is Jerseydiculous, Jerseytarded, and Jerseythetic

When will the dipshits across the river in New Yowk realize that Joizee people don't all say Joizee, Doun da Showur, Owe my Gawud, or any other stereotypical activity of Bergen or Somerset counties, which, to the assholes at MTV and E-Channel are the only places that make New Jersey...well, New Jersey. The "Real Housewives" are anything but real, spandex and camaro hair went out of style long ago, and if the point of the show is to watch uppity beeyatches argue the entire time, you hit your mark.

Now for this new batch of fucksticks. Try and get the tramp with the fake tan and the New York accent to stop saying "I'm from Joizee," "It's a Joizee thing," and so forth. Chances are this little slut's never been outside route 87. They all need to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the Breakfast Club so they can see the time warp they're stuck in. Spiked heel boots and off the shoulder sweaters? Where's the sauseech? Is that a rug on Frankie's head? I think I can see a net underneath. Forgeddaboudit.

This brings me to a diversion called The Jersey Shore. Not the place, or even the mindset, but the TV show full of Staten Island posers trying to FAKE they're from Jersey, and they do a pretty shitty job of it. Come down to South Jersey where we can actually pronounce the "er" and see how big of morons you look like.

Hey! I got a situation for the Situation. It's called a genital situation, and the Situation knows what he can do with my situation along with those guttersluts from New York on the show with him. The only one from Jersey is from Hazlet, a nice little town that from the looks of it, spawns it's fair share of little bimbos. Good thing is, all the hair gel DJ Jazzy Jagoff party boys like the one on the show and the pink polo shirt wearing Gotti guinea boys are already rounded up on an island. It's called Staten island, and someone needs to tell the TV people it's not New Jersey.

Why does MTV take outsiders and have them ACT like what they think Jersey people are like? Partly because the MTV people are a bunch of Hollywood phonies who think they should typecast rather than actually know what they're doing, and partly because they're opinion of Jersey is rather low, based soley on Bergen and Somerset. They think it's okay to insult the entire state as long as they make a few bucks.

Now we have these tacky, polyester wearing, big hair wannabe Manhattan hookers in a hair salon to represent E-Channel's idea of who and what Jersey is, and I tell you, it's freakin sad. Even Pauly Walnuts and Sill would be embarrassed by these tools. Hell, Pauly Shore would be embarrassed by them.

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