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April 14, 2006

Thoughts so far today

Why do we let in every uneducated worker, but cut the number of skilled worker visas in half?

Zacharias Moussaoui was an illegal alien.

Why do people say "heart" and soul are in the same place, usually in the chest area, but then say the eyes are "the window to the soul?" I think they are more like windows to the brain...

Why is it, when something is written on a piece of paper, it may as well be cast in stone, even if what is said is wrong?

If I had to start a list of industries that can vanish off the face of the earth and no one would miss them, I'd have to start with the fashion industry. After all, what redeeming value to mankind does a skinny, flat-chested 15 year-old runway model wearing purple feathers, pink chiffon, blue lace, a bit of fake fur, a wig, and stiletto heels have...other than comedic? Sure, you'll find someone washing that outfit at the laundromat...not.

Is it really always darkest before dawn?

Why do the words "tea bag" make people laugh?

Why do army aviation weenies refer to army helicopters as "rotary wing assets?" When did "helicopter" become a bad word?

CANX DEP or shift LAD APOE for RDD of TQ PAX (TAT SAE) left ICW GAC VIC TQ MODLOC. Why do we talk like this again?

I think the words "shit" and f--k" are the most versatile words in the English language.

I went from wife with a four-letter name beginning with "M" to a wife with a four-letter name beginning with "M." Is there something odd about that? Just a co-inky-dink?

Why is it, when someone says people are "clowning around," you never see any big shoes, rubber noses, red wigs, or squirting flowers? I don't ever see any clowns.

I hate clowns.

What would an Arab think if he ever saw a clown?

Do you know why the 9-11 attacks couldn't have happened in July? Because these were a bunch of rag-heads, and it would have been 7-11. Even they say "thank heaven for 7-11."

Why aren't irritating people aware of it?

What's the difference between "cutting the grass" and "mowing the lawn?"

"Brief" is a weird word. You can "brief" someone, create a brief, go to a brief, be brief, wear briefs, but you can't wear briefs and give the same brief. Only "inspector 9" can inspect briefs, and you can brief briefs but not briefs, and you can do a brief brief. Weird.

What exactly is an ass-clown?

On a round planet, is there really a direction "up?"

I think I just realized what it is like to have your body fail and your mind still be sharp. It must be the reason for senior citizens going crazy! We treat seniors like a bunch of drunk retards and it's just not right.

In England, is it the "left of way?"

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