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March 30, 2006

So they "let her go?"

Sure they did. These ragheads let go of hostages like Mexicans let go of lawnmowers.

I can think of a few more believable scenarios...

She was so scared all the time all she did was cry and menstruate and dragging around a hostage that was always sniffling and leaving a blood trail was hurting their "clandestine" activities...

As an American girl she nagged them so badly they tried to let her go for weeks but she just wouldn't leave, and wouldn't shut the f--k up.

Like any relationship, the sex was good in the beginning, but then they just lost interest

She snuck out while the kidnappers were watching a soccer game

In an attempt to get away, the kidnappers snuck out while she was asleep

The kidnappers hate other Muslims so badly they dropped her on the Iraqi Islamic Party.

They fed her, so every time she got hungry she showed up. Eventually they stopped feeding her.

When they realized she knew the Koran better than they did, it pissed them off and they sent her packing.

One kidnapper eventually convinced the others that the "female infidel" was "cramping their style."

They captured her without a change of clothes and she used too much water washing the same pair of "granny panties" every day.

She just wouldn't stop naming all the goats and it made the kidnappers feel bad to eat them.

She's notoriously bad with names and all the kidnappers were tired of being called Mohammed.

While they were out planting IED's, she would call them constantly

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