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February 21, 2006

The difference between Bono and Lenny Kravitz

Bono is going to donate one of his guitars to raise money for Brazil's Zero hunger Campaign...and auction it off after a concert there... Yep... and then? Expecting some 17 year-old Brazilian kid to come up with 100K? Maybe you should stick to Suddaby's.

So what is this guitar made of? Gold? Or is it just that it's yours? Now there's a fairly pretentious move there, Bone-oh. Wait. I just're NOT the guitar player in the band! Oops! Nothing like crapping on good old Edge's head, eh?

Maybe you should sell something you don't want to part with, like those stupid, cheesy orange sunglasses. You know the ones...the same ones you hid behind when you went to the White House. Look Dipshit, show some respect. Here's a hint...if it's nighttime, the sunglasses can come of (unless your stardom and ego don't allow that). Come'on sweety pants, it'll be okay...unless Edge's head really is the Bono bathroom.

As for the difference between Lenny and Bono, that's easy. Besides being known for cutting his dreads, banging Nicole Kidman, and yanking Ricky Williams away from the Miami Dolphins (something I could care less about), Lenny is known for playing the guitar. In fact, he's known for rocking on the guitar, where Bono is known for the "hey look at me. Aren't I cool" routine and being the singer.

By the way...isn't Bono filthy rich? You have to be in order to have so much free time, right? Even if he gets 100K for the guitar, isn't that like John Q. Citizen donating ten bucks? Bone-oh, if you're so committed, put your money (not your guitar) where your mouth is and fork it over. Oh, I almost forgot, Lenny also has a last name instead of just a pretentious single name. I have a new single name for Bono... "Dork."

What's next? Get Eddie Van Halen to donate a set of drums? Pete Townsend give up one of his prized harps? Elton John will part with his flying-v heavy metal guitar! Fred Durst hands over his pan flute? You know how famous they are for those...

Oh, and take off the %&*!@ sunglasses. I'll give you $500 dollars if you can do it for a week. Apparently that's a lot of money for you.

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