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January 23, 2006

Pitt and Jolie may make a beautiful baby

Now I've seen some stupid hollywood bullshit before, but we should all be ashamed of a piece of trash like this, especially the Associated Press (first syllable is Ass) and little Erin Carlson, who is either some starstruck college intern, or needs to be treated like one.

"But their new addition will be the glamorous couple's first biological baby, a presumable shoo-in for "Sexiest Offspring Alive." Are you shitting me? How disturbing is the thought that someone would consider an infant "sexy?" That's just creepy Erin, go bang your head against the wall...

You know, it's possible the child will never be born, or could be what Larry the Cable Guy would call a "waterhead." What then? Whose fault will it be if the kid is born with some sort of handicap? Will Wonder Boy Brad's Super Sperm be too powerful for the fair Angie? Will all her past freakishness come back to haunt her? Hey, we reap what we sow...remember?

I know what their kid would more likely be famous for:

-Most likely to be in rehab by age 9.
-Most likely to be spoiled and wind up more pretentious than his/her parents.
-Most likely to be pregnant by 11.
-In high school voted "most likely to be found in the wrestling room being pinned by the entire team...naked. (since when was both ankles behind your head a wrestling move?)
-Most likely to end-up more self-absorbed than her parents.
-Most likely to have more "tats" than mom.

When you boil everything down to looks, and disregard the content of their character, you cheapen everyone. What if underneath all the external freakishness, Angelina really has a good heart and is a superior mother? What if Brad has a huge heart and really loves children? No one will know, and no one will care...because of stupid reporters, idiotic doctors spouting off nonsense, and the people who care more about looks, hype, and bullshit than what really matters. I wish Brad and Angelina luck, but I wish their eventual kid even more.

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