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October 21, 2005

We should give them hats and spurs...

When you think about it, Baghdad is the modern-day version of Tombstone, Dodge City, or better yet...Deadwood. Welcome to the wild west! Us city slickers in our fancy machinery roll through town and people naturally go "who do them there fellers think they is?" So they shoot at us, bomb us, and generally try to hurt us, while at the same time acting like our friends and asking/begging for our help.

Then the locals kill other locals and segregate themselves into gangs and neighborhoods; everyone is afraid of the guy who really owns the town and his evil minions; the sheriff is a pussy, the town marshall is on the take; the deputies play both sides of the fence; they're all in-bred and related to each other; some of the "God-fearing" folk are the same ones who own whorehouses and bars; your friend at the old watering hole during the day is out bushwhacking you at night(including insurgents who act as police, and Iraqi military people who sell them weapons); they steal your horses (in the form of fuel, food, and supplies), cheat at all their games (like war, contracting, driving, ambushes, allegiances), and live like pigs, but try to tell you how screwed-up you are. They might be greedy for things in their version of an afterlife, but they're still greedy like everyone else.

Why don't we just give all of them six-shooters and black 10-gallon hats, then invite them out to a deul at high noon?

...then we cluster bomb and mini-gun the shit out of them and stomp on any big chunks left over...


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