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September 11, 2005

Bring out the MOAB!

Remember the MOAB? The "Mother of all Bombs," they thought up before the oh-so-sensational and not to mention melodramatic "Shock and Awe" campaign, which was apparently shocking and aweful enough for Donald Trump a.k.a. Mr. Comb-over to copyright the term?

Well, I want to see it! Wheel that fucker out here and blow one up! Do it within sight of the insurgents, maybe they'll crap their pants, yell some damn religious expression in farsi that probably means "feet don't fail me now," and scatter like the rat-bastards they are! That's what we need- a really big, earth-shaking, tooth chipping, defecation-inducing explosion that WE set off, not the other way around!!!

I figure it this way; if you have a dog, and he doesn't do something right, you roll up the newspaper (except the Washington Post, you know liberals aren't into the corporal punishment thing) and whack old Fido on the sniffer. If you have a bigger dog, I imagine the need for a bigger rolled-up paper. Well, in the "insurgents versus the good guys" scenario, they keep hitting us with the paper. Imagine if unexpectedly, old Spot reared-up on his hind-legs with a bigger newspaper of his own and split your shnoz in two, with that thing rolled so tight it hit like the louisville slugger I have in the back of my Mountaineer!!! It would surprise the shit out of you, right?

Well, imagine if after the insurgents blow-up a roadside bomb or something, they get hit with a MOAB! It's gotta work! Come on! Break'em out! They're around here somewhere, I'm sure!


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