Search This Blog

2005-09-09

Ace and Gary...tail gunners...

I figure while I'm spreading hate and discontent for the races, the genders, etc. etc., I may as well hit on gays. You know, there's nothing more odd than a flamer. You know? A dude that acts like a chick. It's weird, and it's not trendy or fashionable, it's just weird. Now I have no qualms on how someone lives their life, as long as they're not hurting anyone, but it's strange to see two dudes hugged-up on each other and I just don't dig it. As your typical guy from Jersey, I can handle lesbians, but two guys just creeps me out. Sorry. Good thing I don't have to deal with it much. I'm thinking though, the terms used should change, since so many negative connotations have come on the current ones.

Take for example the term homo-sexual. It just sounds bad, like you're having sex with yourself or something. Get rid of it. Also, the term "gay." It just makes people think of pink tutu's and all that Dorothy and Wizard of Oz shit, so scrap that one too... Fag? Gone... Lesbian? Outta here. Queen? Well, that makes people think of Freddie Mercury as well as guys who are wanna-be chics, and the cranial conflict often leads to vapor lock with Bohemian Rhapsody stuck in your head for days, so out the window it goes!

Now, I like the classics, you see... Fairy? It still has merit when discussing the masculinity of the individual. "Bull-dike." Wow! That's clear enough for even the most clueless individual to understand. "Poof." British in origin, but I'm still tracking. It's where the slang turns graphic where I get all misty-eyed for the days of old, where you could talk about such things without being branded a "hate-monger," homophobe, or some such thing and have a bunch of protestors show up at your door or get forced into "sensitivity" training. You know, things like "rump-wrangler," etc... Truth is, I think this country is now way beyond the pale of sensitivity and into a politically correct hell! Here's my solution...

As I've said on previous occasions, non-heterosexuals need to demonstrate how much they are just like everyone else, not different, and all will be well. I believe in equal protection under the law, and that gays in the US already have the rights they want, but all the protesting and bitching just pisses people off. Also, if you're a guy and you're into other guys, at least be a manly guy. Don't try to be a girl. Same applies for the women. If you're a broad, don't try to be a dude. (Yep, I bet the word broad is getting under someone's collar). Then you can be "ambiguously gay," and use the term "Metrosexual." It has a "queer about town" kind of ring to it, with no negative side effects. Kind of like non-alcoholic beer...

Hey...don't ask, don't tell...right?

No comments:

Post a Comment