Rant of The Day: "Selfies"

(rant of the day) I have a dream...a dream of snatching the phone out of the hand of every jackass that forces me to stop walking because they stopped in front of me to take a "selfie." Then I heave the phone as far as I can. Just the word itself makes me want to go ape shit. Selfie. Sounds more like masturbation than picture taking. Selfie... How about "keep it to your selfie, go f---' your selfie, kill your selfie, punch your selfie in the face!" It's made worse when you see roving packs of dudes that live in work camps here in the UAE wandering around the beachfront taking "selfies" and glamour shots of each other. It's creepy, made even more sad because you know they make about twenty bucks a day but have $300 cell phones...like teenagers. Half of these guys are wearing their man-scarves, which just makes it worse. A third of them remind me of Freddie Mercury. They hold hands with each other. I know it's a cultural thing but I'm from Jersey so knock it off. I'm amazed I don't drink here. Maybe I should.

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Duckface

I just heard the term "Duck Face" for the first time. Funny. Yeah, I know...where have I been, blah blah blah. It seems girls actually do make that face every time they take another vain selfie picture of themselves. Damn that Kim Kardashian. She isn't the first girl with big lips you know. However, some Duck Faces aren't that flattering. Stupid really. And vain. Take a picture of something else for once. Did you hear about this video camera that turns on when it sees you and tracks and records your every move. Orwell told us this would happen. Remember, they use the same sort of cameras in airports and prisons. People never realize how they give up their freedoms until they have none. They do it willingly, then try to blame others when it happens. As for me, I'm going fishing. See you out there.